Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

Hi everyone!

Actually I am the Husband of this sweet lady. We are beginning to discuss this Surgery and will need some help and encouragement.

I joined because my wife is sooo skeptical of people and their intensions. She has lost her will to socialize completely due to the way people treat her. I was hoping some of you would email her and help her to gain the strengh and courage get this process started for her.

Her name is Deborah, she is the sweetest most kind person in the world. I would like to see her attend Church and go shopping and things like that again.

Please help if you've a mind to..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it is great that you are so supporting of your wife. If I can answer any questions just let me know. Good luck to you and your wife.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What I would suggest is your and your wife attend a bariatric seminar at the hospital you are considering using(usually it is free and you have no obligation to go forward with the process, but if you do the seminar is normally a required first step). They explain all the different procedures, what to expect, and some of what is expected of the person having surgery.

Next I would call the surgeon's office and find out when the bariatric support groups meet. They could be combined or separate (at my hospital the gastric bypass and sleeve group meets the first Monday of the month, lapbanders the third Monday of the month, 6-7pm). People at all stages come, those thinking about it, pre-ops getting ready for surgery, recent post-ops, and post-ops several months to years out from surgery. Issues come up, and they are discussed, questions get asked and answered. Some meetings have themes, like getting through the holidays, or nutrition, sometimes a guest speaker (we had a plastic surgeon one month). Best of all you can network with other people at the same stage or different stage than you and you can learn a lot. I had surgery 3/25/08. I started going to group support the previous July. I joined here in November. I had to do a 6 month diet for insurance so I spent the time learning all I could about the lapband, and worked in increasing my exercise (I mostly just walk). I also visited obesityhelp.com and read all about the different surgeries.

There are several good books out, and you can find most on Amazon.com. I have The Lapband Connection and The Lapband Companion. There are also cookbooks there too. A nice easy cookbook I have has recipes by weight loss surgery patients. It can be found on livingafterwls.com.

The better informed you are, the better you will feel about your decision. You and your wife can find lots of support here. Choose a hospital that has a Bariatric Center of Excellence rating and take advantage of all the resources they have to offer. The band is just a tool. It is not magic. It helps control portions (which is what I needed most) but it is still up to you to choose healthier foods. Now, instead of a 12-15 inch pizza loaded with toppings, I have a crustless pizza I make at home in the microwave with low fat turkey pepperonis and fat free shredded cheese. You both need you get your head around eating differently, and exercising. The band is more of a challenge if you have a sweet tooth, and exercise is critical to success with the band. If you can only walk a block today, do that. And again tomorrow. By next week it could be two blocks. It is never too late, but never is too late. Good luck with your journey.

If it would help I can email you my before picture. I have to scan it at home, so email me at patchelton@aol.com. I came across it recently (my 60th birthday party) and even I had to say "Oh my God!" I haven't taken an after picture but I need to. The numbers in my signature are for real. The bariatric nurse told me I weigh less than she does now (she is an open gastric bypass post op from several years ago).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are so awesome to be there supporting her!

I am also a newbie here and I have to say this is truly a wonderful bunch of people online. I know as I am sure most of us do how your wife feels. I still feel like that and I am post op 4 weeks, I have to say most of my real friends are back in Florida, can't say as much for being in Texas 12 years, so I keep in very close contact with them, even have a couple that are bypass pts, so they help too. But for now you can just take her to support groups and get her going, These people are not going to treat her differently or bad, cause we are all in the same boat. Good Luck and More power to you! Gina

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×