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How should I approach my doc about surgery?



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I've just had my physical with my new Tricare Prime pcp and now I'm super ready to get approval for a band. My second appointment is comming up and I'm not really sure on how to approach the question with my doctor, especially not really knowing her yet. I mean, is it up to her to decide weather or not to submit a request for approval? What if she just says get on a diet (which I've tried and failed at numerous times)..Is her word final?

I know I fit the guidlines that Tricare has layed out. I'm a hundered+ lbs over my ideal weight, and have to take medication for high blood preassure. Am I just worrying too much? I wouldn't be surprised if I was:P

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I think most doctors nowadays understand the benefit of WLS and given that you clearly meet the rqmts, would be supportive. The way I approached my doctor was that I made an appointment specifically to discuss lapband surgery and to get her recommendation for a surgeon. I too was worried that she would say to go on a diet. She's a new doctor for me, but has already hinted (very carefully) a few times that I should lose weight. I think doctors are in a tough position, though, because they don't want to come on too strong about telling a patient that their weight is a problem because many would take that personally or feel like the doctor is being pushy. So, I think sometimes the doctor is waiting for the patient to bring up WLS (rather than suggesting it). My doctor turned out to be VERY supportive and even excited that I am pursuing this route. So, you are probably worrying for nothing, but I think its normal to be nervous about it. As obese people, we are used to society blaming us for our condition.

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I'd been seeing my PCP for about 2 years and every visit he mentioned my weight. Well I'd been looking into WLS and on this board and had looked into medication programs. So in August when he mentioned my weight I told him I thought I needed a medical program and it went from there he doesn't like the medication route and said that surgery would be the way to go.... and it went from there he referred me to surgeon.....Good Luck

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Yes, bring it up with the doctor. I think if you explain everything you have tried and been unsuccessful at it will help but most docs now are in favor of just about anything that can improve their patients health. Don't be shy, it won't hurt her feelings and she may have been wary about bringing it up with you!

Good Luck:thumbup:

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I've just had my physical with my new Tricare Prime pcp and now I'm super ready to get approval for a band. My second appointment is comming up and I'm not really sure on how to approach the question with my doctor, especially not really knowing her yet. I mean, is it up to her to decide weather or not to submit a request for approval? What if she just says get on a diet (which I've tried and failed at numerous times)..Is her word final?

I know I fit the guidlines that Tricare has layed out. I'm a hundered+ lbs over my ideal weight, and have to take medication for high blood preassure. Am I just worrying too much? I wouldn't be surprised if I was:P

I am in the same Boat the Dr dose not know me and she said NO I am going in again to give it another try today. I have a BMI of 43 and gain and lost 100s of pounds over the last 10 years. I hope the best for you

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I guess I am the only crazy person who jumped the gun and went without even telling my PCP. He always told me I needed to loose and I tried to do it myself, uGH.

So I just started looking for a local group online and found them, read all the info I could and went to a seminar. Then I started telling my other Drs and they were all behind me 100% . I guess I was just lucky I did not need a referral.

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Your doctor is someone you hire to help you with your health. If he or she has a good reason to advise you against WLS, listen and evaluate what they say. But if your doctor simply doesn't like WLS and refuses to consider it, find another doctor. Your doctor is your employee, not your mother or your boss. If they don't want to work with you on your obesity in a way you find satisfactory, hire someone else to do the job.

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Your doctor is someone you hire to help you with your health. If he or she has a good reason to advise you against WLS, listen and evaluate what they say. But if your doctor simply doesn't like WLS and refuses to consider it, find another doctor. Your doctor is your employee, not your mother or your boss. If they don't want to work with you on your obesity in a way you find satisfactory, hire someone else to do the job.

I love what you say Here! I wish I had this kind of insight on a regular basis! :thumbup:

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Do you remember back in the 70's when they had this psychology babble about Parent, Adult, and Child aspects of personality? Basically, it said that we react to other people in one of those aspects. (I usually overdo the Parent part.)

I guess what I am saying is that we should talk to our doctors as Adult to Adult, working logically to find the best way to be healthy. This allows us to be responsible for our own decisions and to work with our doctors to find the best solution to our health problems. If I had a doctor who did not respond appropriately as another Adult, I would find another doctor. But if you go into your appointment with your Child face on, don't expect the doctor to treat you as responsible Adult!

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Well I got my referral today when I went in to see my Dr. She had a change of Heart I did not even say anything. she apologized for last week when she just said No. I also found out my sugar is high so it is a good thing I want to do this now before it get bad. I am so happy I am on my way

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I thoroughly researched the issue, met with my surgeon, and then went to my PCP and said 'I have researched this, here's what I want to do and why, and I'll need a letter from you supporting it'. I think it really helps your case to have done your homework, to know what you want, and to state it clearly.

As a cash patient, I didn't have to worry about insurance, but my surgeon still wanted to know that my PCP concurred with the decision.

Under some forms of insurance your doctor may have an incentive to NOT refer you for surgery- they may be held accountable for the costs of the care of their patients (if it's a capitated plan). If they don't support your decision ask them to tell you exactly why.

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AmyUSMCwife, CONGRATULATIONS!!! I'm determined to get a positive answer when I go in the 27th. Just not going to take no for an answer. I've got my rebuttals all lined up! Snowbird, I think that's exactly my problem. I'm a parent, but I've had low self esteem for a while now(thanks to the excess baggage mainly..) and I probably come off as an easy pushover sometimes. Not for that appointment though, I NEED this surgery. Thanks for all the support and I'll let you all know as soon as I get back from the doc!

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Well I got my referral today when I went in to see my Dr. She had a change of Heart I did not even say anything. she apologized for last week when she just said No. I also found out my sugar is high so it is a good thing I want to do this now before it get bad. I am so happy I am on my way

That's great! Maybe she did some further research herself. I never really considered WLS for myself until I did the research. Now I feel like any doctor who would not support someone who met the requirements is very out-of-touch and behind-the-times.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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