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Body Issues Help!



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I am hoping this isn't going to sound mad, but I really need to talk about this.

When I was at my biggest, I would look in a mirror and see someone slimmer, I never really saw the real me. It was my health that propelled me to have the lapband fitted.

Now you would think that now when I look in the mirror, I would be able to see me. But I don't!

Everything suggests I am slim. At my biggest I was in size 22 now I am size 12 and occassionally size 10. I weigh 10st 3lbs and my friends are telling me I have to stop losing weight. yet, when I look in that mirror I see someone who is fat. Admittedly not as big as I originally was, but enough to disuade me from going for an unfill.

Am I alone in this insanity. I should be happy and the sensible part of my brain is. My goal was size 14 I never expected to exceed it! So why is the restof my brain freaking out??

Sorry its such a glum message

Suzy

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You are certainly not alone.

I too have the image of a fat person entrenched in my mind, even when I look in the mirror. I can't rationally explain it, as everything suggests I have lost the weight - 30" waist instead of 44", 147 pounds lost etc etc. I am though getting better at seeing the thin person, after constant reinforcement from my family. I'm not there yet, but it's coming.

So you're not going bonkers! It may just take a little time and self belief.

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hi libertysuzanne

when were trying clothes on i get the same problem as you but i usually by clothes that are to small for me so we cant always judge how big we really are with the mirror .Can i ask where you got banded as i dont live to far from you im in worcestershire and got banded at dolan park bromsgrove :)

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hmmm is this the right place? I had my band fitted in Chimay, Belgium by Dr Mignon, through a company called Elyzea. It was a heck of a lot cheaper than having it done in the UK.

I am slowly getting used to the idea that I am slim, personally I can't see it but everyone else is telling me I am, so I guess I must be????

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Hi

I know your thread has been going a while now - but I wondered if you are getting used to your 'new you'. I see you have reached your goal too - which is fantastic! Well done.

I am newly banded 28 Feb and so I am just beginning.

However, I have been on this journey before and lost 5 stone myself - twice ! Only to pile it all back on.

Funnily enough, I remember when I too had lost a significant amount and looking at clothes in shops - thinking, oooh that size 14 looks like it is would fit age 7! I will never get into that, and then finding that actually I could. It did take a while to get used to looking and feeling trim - my brain was still hard-wired to think I that 5 stone heavier.

One of the moments I remember was asking my husband if he had seen a particular t-shirt. Oh, that one he says, I thought it was Jack's (our son aged 10 at the time).

I am in the weight-loss zone now and for me, in the past couple of weeks am finding that clothes are now getting roomy. I am struggling to find work clothes that don't look I could smuggle a couple of cushions inside! It's a great feeling.

Well done on your journey - I bet your life has changed so much, you must be very proud.

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Hi I am Dawn and I live in Southampton Just down the Road..

I am due for my Op on 29th May in Belgium.. Can I ask advice as you have alread Started!

How much Hve you lost So Far! How much in the 1st 4 weeks..

Any Tips re Diet.. Fluids..Pureed.. Normal amounts>>

Also I would like to know where you get your Fills Done Please?? is it in Harley Street?

Hope you dont mind be asking these questions, it will just set my Mind Straight>>>

Cheers Dawn uk

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Hi Dawn

Loss so far is 31lbs since 22 Feb 09. That was the week I started the liquid diet, so I count that as the beginning for me.

Loss during the first 4 weeks - well, during the liquid diet week, I lost 9lbs. However, everyone is so different. If you have been advised to do the liquid pre-op diet, then you should lose a fair amount.

Week 1 to 4 was my pre-fill phase. If you have a look on the forums, you will see that most surgeons will do your first fill around 4-6 weeks following surgery. During that time, weight loss is expected to be minimum a) you are recovering from the op and need to build up strength and :thumbup: most people have no restriction and can eat a normal amount of food.

I think during that time I lost just a few pounds.

Tips on foods - well, for me , I stuck to Dr's orders. No diet-coke (my drug of choice) and lots of squashes and Water. I still had tea and coffee. For the week following the op, I was mainly eating Soup and pureed fish and mash. You can be inventive. Mushies is the next phase and I ate lots of minced meat, soft vegetables, jacket potato, fish. I avoided bread, just because I have nearly given that up now.

As the weeks pass, it does get easier. I bought a slow-cooker and cooked using that to tenderise meat, make Soups and stews etc.

I now eat 'normal foods' have had 3 fills and enjoy food again. I find that eating a good amount of Protein each mealtime, helps to fill me up. I can eat just about everything now, but avoid bread (toast is ok though). The only meat I find hard to get down is steak....but to be honest, I don't mind that at all. I find I really enjoy my food now, buy good quality stuff and take time to prepare nice meals. Before, it was very much quantity over quality at mealtimes.

Fills: I was banded in the UK - in a private hospital literally 10 mins from my home, so I am lucky in that context. My surgeon sees me every month at that hospital. My fills are included in the price I paid for the op/aftercare. After 12 months, fills are £50 per time.

Hope this information helped and the best of luck too. Hope you op goes very well - I am so pleased with my progress and the band, it has changed my life!

Lisa

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I have this problem too.

I now see a basically slim person, although its taken 18 months at goal to see it and its taken over 3 years to forget the fat me. However, I have just as many dissatisfactions with my figure as I did before. My boobs sag, my stomach doesnt look like a 20 year old's, and the sad fact is, I will NEVER have anything other than a saggy old backside. I could not BE fitter or in better shape than I am and I still dont look how I expected to in my imagination. But overall, I do have a fairly healthy self image, so it really doesnt bother me alot, certainly not enough to start slicing and dicing myself in the Quest to empty my wallet and tighten up bits of me.

But I dont know how to not be on a diet!! Its been the hardest thing of all. I havent been able to ditch the Quest of always wanting to lose a few pounds. I dont know how to just be the weight I am and stop this from being one of my main goals in life.

I cant really accept that I'm fine as I am because then what am I going to focus on?

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Thanks Lisa for a very Comprensive reply!

It always helps to take advice from someone who has been there! Nice pic Got any before ones!

Keep in Touch!

Dawnx

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

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