9 months since lap band, 30lbs lost, mom isn't eating enough...

amylou28 · January 7, 2009

My mom had the surgery about 9 months ago.. she lost about 30 lbs and that was it. They keep telling her she has to eat more, but she won't, somehow she has it in her head that if she eats less that she will loose more weight, there is just no talking to her. I found out today she ate.... one piece of bologny, three bites of salad, which she threw most of it up bc the salad didnt' want to stay down bc she just got a fill last wk, and about four bites of potatoe soup... and yes oh yes that's it.. that's all she wrote folks... and that is a typical day and that is if she eats anything at all during the day. She did say that she was taking penut butter to wk with her so she could eat a spoonfull during the day instead of trying to do a whole meal. I don't know how else to tlak to her or what else to do for her. They did the calorie calculation test on her and told her she needed at the very least 1600 calories a day... as soon as she left the office she huffed and said yea right there's no way!!!!! I am starting to worry about her organs.. she is already starting to loose her hair. She is beautiful and wasn't that over weight at all to begin with!!!! ugggg:mad:

littlefroggy · January 7, 2009

That's a lot less food than a bandster should eat. I wonder if she has an eating disorder? Perhaps you need to talk to the counselor that worked with her prior to surgery.

heartfire · January 7, 2009

Unfortunately, there's not much you can do.

My mom had bypass about 5 years ago and while still overweight was diagnosed as anorexic. Your mom sounds just like mine. My mom was kind of shocked into reality by that but it took her doctors getting pretty brutal with her. She still has some head issues with eating but she's doing well.

Your mom really does need upwards of 1200 calories a day to lose and not put her health in to jeopardy. Try getting her on here. Even if it's not to post anything and just to read (OR you read and print off things to show her!). Hopefully she'll see how the rest of us are doing it and realize she needs to make some changes.

Would you be able to get her in to counseling with someone who knows how to deal with WLS patients? Can you go to her next appt with her and talk to her drs?

As painful as it is (and I know) it really IS up to your mom to make the changes she needs to. There just isn't much you can do except be there for her and keep talking to her. Don't harp on her but just keep talking. My mom said it helped when I did it. She'd never say much but she's go away and think about it for awhile.

Hang in there. I'm sorry you're having to go through this.

aubrie · January 8, 2009

Find and gather all the information you can on the metabolism. When you starve the body, the metabolism actually slows down. You have to convince her that it's okay to skip occasionally, but you have to mix it up from day to day, to keep the metabolism up. The metabolism is tricky. She's going to have to kick start hers again or she really won't lose anything. Maybe the printed word on this will convince her, if not, she is doing herself such a disservice.

amylou28 · January 9, 2009

Thank you guys... I have tried to explain to her for years about metabolism.. I have tried and tried to talk to her, but talking does nothing to explain to her. She even had the caloric intake test and even when the dr's told her she needed more calories she didn't believe them. We thought that the lap band would make her eat more often.. bc that is what she did.. starve all day then binge and eat too much at the end of the day. But now she just doesn't eat hardly at all!!! Now she is just malnurished.... her hair is falling out and all she has to say is "i'm just not getting enough protein"... I told my dad he had to do something with her and he said I tried but she won't listen to me either, but honestly like someone else said I can't make her choices for her. I just don't know what to expect next. If she loses all her hair what will happen after that? It is freaking her out a little that she is losing her hair.. I kinda played on that the other day... she said she didn't want to lose her hair and I told her she was going to lose it all if she didn't start eating more. She said she had started taking penut butter to wk and eating a spoon full for lunch...yea that's right one spoon full of penut butter and then maybe a couple of bites of something for dinner...that's it....I don't know her vanity is about all the leverage I have right now....But I'll take whatever works... and no she won't let me go to any dr's apts with her at all.. bc she knows I'll tell on her!

Jachut · January 9, 2009

Well, I know that I was lucky as I could lose on 1500 calories a day. But I truly think there's a HUGE percentage of bandsters that chronically starve themselves. And I think a lot of them are being directed to do it by their doctors, which baffles me. 800 calories a day is just plain not necessary and people say oh, but if I eat more I dont lose. No, if you eat more CRAP you dont lose, if you eat the right thing (which I differ from most here on what that is) and you exercise right, you will lose. You just dont lose 3 or 4lb every week.

But there's not many women in the world that have a totally healthy and balanced view of food and nutrition in relation to their bodies. Your mum is no different to a lot of people and unfortunately, what and when she eats is her decision.

heartfire · January 9, 2009

Well, I know that I was lucky as I could lose on 1500 calories a day. But I truly think there's a HUGE percentage of bandsters that chronically starve themselves. And I think a lot of them are being directed to do it by their doctors, which baffles me. 800 calories a day is just plain not necessary and people say oh, but if I eat more I dont lose. No, if you eat more CRAP you dont lose, if you eat the right thing (which I differ from most here on what that is) and you exercise right, you will lose. You just dont lose 3 or 4lb every week.
But there's not many women in the world that have a totally healthy and balanced view of food and nutrition in relation to their bodies. Your mum is no different to a lot of people and unfortunately, what and when she eats is her decision.

Jacqui, I totally agree with you. Take this week for me. I had a fill on Tuesday, I haven't eaten much since then. You'd think I would have a huge loss for today. Nope. Lost an ounce. That's it. When I feel like I'm eating too much, I have better losses.

Amy, if it works, keep playing up on the vanity angle. She will lose ALL of her hair if she doesn't start getting some better, overall, nutrition. I was getting plenty of Protein as that was my dr's instructions and I was still losing A LOT of hair. I found a good Iron supplement and added back my veggies and my Hair loss has improved. Still losing some but it's not near the amount it was.

Best wishes!

amylou28 · January 14, 2009

Thank you so much guys.. I really do appreciate it. I will use whatever works..but ultimately you are right it is up to her. She has to chose to do the right thing, maybe all her hair will fall out before anything major can go wrong. Thank you again for all your imput! God bless you all! And good luck on each of your journeys!