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Is Lap-Band an 'elective' surgery



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I was banded on 11/18/08 and loving every minute of it.

Just a comment. I told my boss what surgery I was going to be having. I chose to tell my co-workers and direct reports only that I was going to be out for surgery but not what surgery just that it was of a personal nature. When I shared the info during a team meeting just before going on temporary disability leave-my boss followed the announcement with a remark like " it's nothing serious - elective surgery - no big deal".

That comment just didn't sit right with me. I answered - "well, whether it's elective or not is a matter of opinion".

I've been battling the disease of obesity for all my life. It felt almost felt like the boss was saying "for breast cancer removing the tumor would be elective".

The boss meant well. But the boss is not and has never had a weight issue and this was obvious.

:biggrin:

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I know how you must of felt, but in my own hind-sight, I have probably said many stupid things that I did not mean the way they came out. Just know that for you it was not elective, and that there was prob no malice, so be happy and forget about it knowing your new life is right in front of you.

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It IS considered elective surgery...any surgery that isn't emergent is considered elective...but he should've left it to you to tell or not as you wished.

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And he did something wrong... how?

Sorry to sound insensitive, but to me, your boss acted very professional. He probably wasn't sure if you wanted details spread around, and odds are, he is not sure of the details of lapband anyway.

I have spent much of my adult life working in churches and non-profit organizations where privacy is not only expected, but essential for people. I would expect a boss, if faced with saying a person will be taking disability leave, to say something like "it is not serious." and leave out the details. Many of us consider it a private surgery anyway.

Instead of getting upset with your boss for trying to be sensitive, be happy that you have a boss that cares about your privacy.

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And he did something wrong... how?

Sorry to sound insensitive, but to me, your boss acted very professional. He probably wasn't sure if you wanted details spread around, and odds are, he is not sure of the details of lapband anyway.

I have spent much of my adult life working in churches and non-profit organizations where privacy is not only expected, but essential for people. I would expect a boss, if faced with saying a person will be taking disability leave, to say something like "it is not serious." and leave out the details. Many of us consider it a private surgery anyway.

Instead of getting upset with your boss for trying to be sensitive, be happy that you have a boss that cares about your privacy.

I disagree COMPLETELY! It was not for the boss to say anything at all, his comment WAS unprofessional. It's apparent that it wasn't an emergency or she wouldn't be sitting in the meeting. You do sound insensitive and she didn't have to share anything with anyone. It is not for the boss to share any details big or small with any of her co-workers. Whether elective or not, it should have been left up to loser 4 life to make a follow up comment if she felt the need to.

I'm not trying to be combative but when a person says its elective surgery, usually people think weight loss surgery or some kind of plastic surgery, which is what I think loser 4 life was trying to avoid speculation on.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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