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how do you eat around your friends?



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hey banded twenties... I'm just curious. My doctor and his nurses keep talking about how it's different for people our age to be banded because we get a lot more peer pressure to eat, drink, etc. So far I haven't encountered any problems eating because everyone is home for Thanksgiving break. But that is changing pretty soon. I know I can avoid going out to eat for a while, but eventually someone will wonder what's up... birthday dinners, tailgates, lunch with a friend between classes, parties, dinner dates (heh- few and far between), winter/spring/summer break vacations.... all of these include social eating or drinking events and I wasn't planning on cutting them out of my life completely!

Any tips here? How do you hide eating and drinking in moderation when people are used to the old you? Has anyone had any problems (someone saying something, pressuring you, etc) and how did you deal with it?

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I'm not 20 but why hide it? Be proud of the step you've taken, because its a positive one. You dont eat as much as others do, big deal. Eat and drink what yiou want to, in the amounts that you want to and you'll probably find that, yes, whilst there's more peer pressure for you than there is for me, people really arent that interested in what you eat. You might get a bit more pressure to drink! That doesnt go away even when you're 40.

I nurse drinks, as long as people see a drink in your hand they're happy.

But life is for living too and as long as you're committed to your diet and exercise for the main part, go out and ENJOY it every now and then!

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I go out still but I order on the kid's menu or a salad.. I haven't told many about what's going on with me. You can still go out, just say you ate earlier or your allergic to something.. HAHa.. Just be careful of the temptation. I told people i'm on a diet or im trying to give something up and if they see me try to eat it, to slap it out of my hand haha. That's just what I need. =) good luck

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All my friends know that I have had the surgery done. If you just tell them what is going on I think it takes a lot of the pressure off. So what if you dont want to drink... have a tea or something. I would think that they just want to hang out and have fun with you than just want to get you drunk or something. Me and my friends have more fun now that I am dropping weight than ever before. I live in the Rocky Mountains and having the ability to go mountain climbing and hiking is what is making this all worth the effort.

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In large groups no one really notices....but what has been werid is dating. I agreed to go out with a guy I have been dating since before surgery but I never told him about it and then the day of I realized ohhh crap I can't eat anything....this was during the tail end of post surgery liquids. He ended up canceling because he had to much school work. I went on a double date to a party and it went fine. It was a dessert party.....one or two people I knew there that knew I had the surgery were like eating everything and telling me how it tasted. I really didn't care that I couldn't eat. I tell people I dont know I'm sorry I can't eat it it will make me sick. They usually just assume I have food allergies or intolerances....no one really questions it (I am lactose intolerant anyway). I just focus on other things when I go out like talking to people or dancing. Don't stand near the bar because that's when guys try to buy you drinks just head straight to the dance floor and burn some cals. Or first thing get yourself Water so you have a drink in your hand so you can say I already have a drink thanks!! As far as dating goes if I do date more I will just make sure its more activity focused. I am in grad school so I don't have alot of time. I want to do things that burn calories like go ice skating, or biking, or just walk around the city...go to museums or concerts were you are up on your feet....burning all those extra calories.... The only thing that has limited me I had my surgery on Nov 12th (same starting weight as you!!) is that I get tired more easily because i am not eating enough.

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if these are ur friends, why would they care if u had surgery or dont want to eat? i can understand tho why u may want to keep it to urself. i told my friends and theyre really supportive. they think its awesome and when we go out theyre always the planners and actually take me into consideration..not takin me somewhere where they know i wouldnt be able to eat. when we do go out, say to dinner or lunch..easy..get healthy stuff. when we go to a bar..i volunteer to be the driver and drink my waters..or if i really crave a lil drink, i opt for a glass of wine. but only one, as not to overdo it. but yea, if u want to choose to keep the surgery to urself..thats ur decision and u shouldnt have to justify ur new eating habits to anyone..just say im just not feeling like eating all that or drinkin all that. theres nothin wrong with tryin to better urself. but i have to say..it is really good to have someone around who knows..theyll help u stay motivated and keep ur goal in mind..help with temptation too. just some thoughts. but good luck to u!! hope ur well!!:whatchutalkingabout

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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