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As I was reaching for one of the few remaining pieces of Halloween candy that is still in my kitchen it occurred to me that successful behavior change is all about what you do "in the moment." "The moment" is that brief second between initiating the behavior and executing the behavior. With regards to eating it is the millisecond between reaching for the food and putting it in your mouth.

There I was standing in my kitchen, holding the mini-Butterfinger that I just unwrapped in my hand. As I was raising it to my mouth...I stopped. I don't know why I stopped on this occasion as I had eaten several pieces of candy over the past two weeks...but I did. In that instant it occurred to me that this is the exact moment where behavior occurs. This is the tiny window of time when I can alter my behavior or allow it to proceed as per usual. The window was open. I felt very powerful in that moment. I was in charge. I was mindful of the importance of this moment. It occurred to me that this is "thee" moment...the only moment where behavior change occurs. Not before and certainly not afterward. I felt as if I was in total control.

Although the moment could have lasted for just a nanosecond, I stayed in it for what seemed like an hour. It seems like a simple reflex of either putting the candy in my mouth or putting it down, but it really isn't. "The moment" involves a series of small but crucial steps that dictate what will happen next...

The first and most important step is to STOP! Most of our behavior occurs while we are completely on auto-pilot. We just go about our day doing 95% of what we do without a thought. We walk without thinking, we drive without concentrating, we eat without being aware. Most behavior can proceed without conscious thought. To change, you have to stop and step out of auto-pilot. On this moment, for whatever reason, time stopped for me. I suddenly became mindful of the moment and stopped what I was doing.

The next step is to BREATHE. Really this step involves taking a second to step back from the moment, now that you have stopped what you were doing. It is advisable to take a breath to relax and focus on what is happening. You're in charge. You can to alter your behavior.

The next step is REFLECT. Reflection is thinking. What do you want to do? What are your choices? Do you want to go about business as usual or do something different? What will the consequences be if I change or if I proceed as usual! I asked myself..."Do you want the chocolate? " "If you eat the chocolate, how will you feel about it afterwards?" "Aren't you trying to control your weight?" "Is eating this chocolate really what you want to do?" Of course these questions occur in an instant, as do most thoughts, but they definitely were flying through my mind as I was holding the candy in hand.

The next step is CHOOSE. I had to make my choice...eat it or put it down. Having reflected on the moment, you choose what to do. You execute your decision. I put the candy bar in the garbage.

The final step is EVALUATE. This is a post-behavior reflection. How do I feel about my choice of behavior? Would I do it again? If not, what would I like to do differently? How can I make sure this behavior either happens again or how can I prevent it from happening again?

So there it is..."the moment"...a nanosecond of time during which we have the ability to change. The time to step out of auto-pilot and be mindful. I was fortunate that this moment arrived with little help from me. I am confident that you have had these kinds of moments as well. Perhaps you never realized just how much was going on in your mind during that instant of time. Going forward, especially when you're eating or are about to eat, try to STOP!..BREATHE... REFLECT...CHOOSE and see if you can more consistently alter your eating behavior so that it is more consistent with your long-term goals of losing and maintaining your weight.

Consider writing down this little series of steps and reading it several times per day in an effort to commit it to memory so that you can make mindfulness more automatic.

STOP! > BREATHE > REFLECT > CHOOSE > EVALUATE

Best of luck!:smile2:

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this is an excellent piece of advice, thank you..i wish i had done it last night when i ate cheez doodles..that i shouldnt have and do not need.

THanks for posting.

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Great post! Thank you! I am going to write the words STOP! > BREATHE > REFLECT > CHOOSE > EVALUATE down on a piece of paper and post it around my house for awhile!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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