I want to offer a very simple challenge. All you gotta do is sit on a bench at your local mall and count all the young teenage girls that go by. I do this, and it's a huge eye-opener. How many of them have bulges, belly pooches or fat rolls?

When I was in highschool last year (I mean 20 years ago) there were 3 fat girls in the whole school - I was the middle one. There were no "chubby" kids, just normal thin ones and Debbie, Stacy and me (the fatties.) And I came from an enormous school with thousands of kids.

While you're sitting there, you'll notice that about every 5th girl already has little fat rolls hanging over her jeans, and that seems totally exceptable since they're wearing belly-baring shirts. It saddens me that kids are so fat. Maybe they aren't "obese" yet, but 20 years ago kids didn't have rolls or bulges unless they were truly obese.

I realize the numbers say that 1/3 of Americans are obese, but when you sit and people-watch the way I do, it's obvious that obesity will "In" next century.

and around every corner is a McD's, B'king or a Wendy's....It's very sad

And have you noticed that the portion sizes at fast food restaurants have gotten larger and larger over the years. When I was a child, a small soft drink at McD's or Jack In The Box was 10 or 12oz, medium was 16oz, and large I think was 24oz. Now it's more like 16oz small, 24 oz med, and 32oz large. And what's with the Mighty Kid's meal. I was a chubby kid, but I still got full off a Happy Meal - so why are they making them bigger? I'm just disgusted whenever I order a medium or large anything, and it comes out 2 times bigger than I expected.

My daughter is one of these teenagers. She still dresses pretty much the way she wants, but she is about 40lbs overweight. The peditritian first said, she needs to watch what she eats about 4 years ago. She actually went to weight watchers with me for awhile but this tore her up (she cried if she gained, even if she expeted she would). I've tried getting her to exercise with me, and she moans and groans about it. I don't buy as much "junk" food to help discourage her from eating it. Since I had a mom that MADE me diet, I think I have failed because I won't MAKE her diet. I can try to encourage her...I can buy the right foods at home, but I can't make her diet. She has to take that step. If I mention anything about diet...she gets very upset and doesn't want to talk about it right now. I'm so afraid she is going to have an adult weight promblem soon. She weighs more at 13 than I did at 16 and I thought I was so huge then. Anyone else going through this with their teenagers? What do you do? Did they get better at eating habits too after you had your band surgery? I worry my daughter thinks that she can't loose and that she will just wait to have the surgery herself later.

There are so many things that she might miss out on between now and then, that would be so much more enjoyable thinner. (I have tons of regrets like this over the last 22 years.) For me it was stuff like wedding pictures, wishing I was thinner and not so concious about my weight. Or being pregnant...and not looking pregnant just fatter, because I was already heavy. (i love cute pregant bellies...jealous that I never had that). Sleeveless tops....I almost NEVER show my upper arms, and that has been going on for YEARS. These are all things that I'm afraid she will regret later.

Melissa

Melissa, I was able to meet your daughter the other day and she is a beautiful young lady, no matter her size!

Here's what I got from her...she's 13 and in the typical brooding, self-discovery, find out my own way, you don't need to tell me how mode of many young ladies her age. I'll bet she acts like she doesn't give a flip but DON'T BELIEVE HER! She cares VERY much about her appearance (she had a cute little outfit on! short skirt, cute top, and walking around all "cool and calm") and compares herself readily with other girls, you can bet on it! Now, I don't want to get into parenting advice because 1) after seeing my wild man 2yo son temper tantruming you wouldn't want my advice anyway! 2)I don't currently "own" one of those teenager thingy's and 3) you are more in tune to your sweet daughter than anyone, so have confidence in how you handle her weight issues. I wouldn't guess her to be 40lbs overweight, but she does look like she might just shoot up a few inches and lose the roundness in her belly a bit.

Anyway, she's beautiful, and she cares, so compliment those good traits, and always be available to help her on her terms. See if you can drag it out of her and get her talking. Don't advise her, just get her talking, hug her lots, and compliment her. Don't concentrate on what she might regret, help to to make the most of what she is experiencing now.

This is a great topic!

I agree she is beautiful..and I agree she does alot of comparing of herself to others...though she hides it...or at least tries to. I just worry about her. She also is jealous of her little sister who currently can eat like a pig sometimes and is "small" for her age. I know everyone goes on about how "small" Karah is and I know this bugs Kristen. Its illogical really, because Karah is 5 and Kristen is 13. Kristen is going through all the hormonal changes that teenagers go through and karah never stops moving...not even to watch tv. Kristen is more into artsy type of activities (writing, drawing, drama)....while Karah is our little athletic one in dance and gymnastics. The doctor keeps telling us to get kristen more active....but she doesn't like those activities too much so its hard to keep her doing them without us feeling like we are harping on her. She has red my "letter to the surgeon" that I wrote that chronicals my weight promblem as I remember it from age 12. She even said something to the effect...hey mom if your mom hadn't of made you diet when you weren't even really fat then maybe you wouldn't be fat now" . The kid is smart too. LOL Anyway, untill she actually asks me for advice I don't think I'll force anything on her. Just keep making the suttle changes needed in family groceries, and hope she will benifit from me eating smaller portions after lapband.

Melissa

I think alot of the clothing the teen girls wear these days does not help the situation either. At my sons high school he and I are always commenting on how the heavy girls dress. My sons favorite thing to say in a question tone is " She looked in the mirror and thought she looked good?"

As a child I would of never left the house with my belly hanging out or low waisted jeans.so tight I had to squeeze into them Nor would my mother of let me leave the house looking like that being an overweight child.

Oh if teenagers had the wisdom we have. Remember how smart we were then? It's a very sensitive situation to want to tell a daughter, "Dont wear that, your stomach's too big" If you say "it's not flattering on you" they know darn well what you mean. My daughter, as most of you know, was banded, and she had a lot more than 40 lbs. to lose. Being pre-diabetic didn't help. She's down 20 lbs., we'll see how her numbers are soon.

The media doesn't help these girls either. They look at Lindsay Lohan, look at themselves, then eat more! And they also wear those clothes to show off their belly-button rings! It looks like higher waisted jeans are coming back in style, as well as longer shirts. I can't wait! BTW, I look at plenty of adults and wonder, didn't they look in the mirror this morning?

Anyway, untill she actually asks me for advice I don't think I'll force anything on her. Just keep making the suttle changes needed in family groceries, and hope she will benifit from me eating smaller portions after lapband.Melissa

Smart Mom!!! Stay in tune with her...get her in art classes!! Wow, she is a neat young lady! Good job, Mom!

after seeing my wild man 2yo son temper tantruming you wouldn't want my advice anyway! 2)I don't currently "own" one of those teenager thingy's

Kathy, No Body owns teenagers, you only have a long term lease on one of those thing.

My son used to throw world class temper tantrums, screaming fits that were a force of nature in their power. He got better, and if you met him today you would never beleive it was the same kid.

I was forced to diet as a kid too. Made to feel worthless about my self and size. And because I was raised by wolves, I try to do better, so he was only raised by wild dogs. He's overweight, and there isn't anything I can do. I almost never buy sodas and so called goodies, but when he got old enough to go to the store, he did.

I know exactly what u mean because I was one of those "fat kids" but I wasn't nearly as big as some of these parents let their children get, I have always been pretty proportional, and nobody could tell my weight, but I have done the same thing whenever I goto the mall I count all the overweight and obese people, especially kids. Just everytime I see a large child and their parents I just want to cry because their parents do not care enough to take care of the prob before they are in atleast grade school. I really hate it when I see a skinny, hot lil mama with a chubby little girl, it's like she does it so that her daughter will never be as pretty as her. I dunno I just want to cry for those little kids because kids were mean when I was little, and now kids are meaner to their peers than they ever have been.

Just the other day I was at a chinese buffet and out of that whole place, there were two people that were the right weight for them. Everyone else in the joint could have stood to lose another 50 or more pounds. It's just hard for me to believe that this is happening