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Funniest Things Your Kids Have Ever Said



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When I was about 5, my parents left me with my grandparents for the day while they went out looking at property to buy for a lakehouse. When they returned that evening and were discussing the "signing of the papers" and all that mumbo jumbo, I kept blurting out "How MANY did you buy? How MANY did you buy?" Finally, I got my mother's attention and she said, "We just got one." I remember being so disgusted and saying, "But Mama, you said that y'all were gonna buy A LOT."

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Ok I had trouble remembering a funny and I knew if I waited long enough Madeline (my 4 year old) would say something else just as funny. Yesterday, I cleaned out my closets and put all the hangers on the bedroom floor. After finishing the task I asked Madeline to pick up all the "hangers" for me. About 10 minutes later she comes and finds me and says " Mama don't worry I cleaned all the hookers up!" So now my house is hooker free- Kids ya gotta love em!

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One time my son and I and one of his friends were walking through Wal-Mart. I was looking for pajama bottoms when I heard my son tell his friend "Look at the boob hangers" talking about the bras.

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Recently I bought some Victoria secret bras that were on sale. They were in bright colors (one Aqua and the other purple). Because I have lost a lot of weight, the padded bras are better for hiding the sagging. My three year old son was lying on my chest watching TV. He starts to grab my boobs cause he feels the cushioning. He thinks the padded bras are pillows just for him.

So one morning, I was getting dressed. My three year old is staring at the purple bra on the bed, looks at my deflated boobs (cause I;m nekked) and says "Mommy, look over there! There are your purple boobies!

So now he likes to look and see what color boobies I am wearing every day!

Babs in TX

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But Mama, you said that y'all were gonna buy A LOT."

Nicole, how innocent! Thats sooo sweet.

Here's another one, were going 75mph on I-10. Philip (2 yrs old) keeps getting out of his car seat. This is a major peeve for me - so Im frustrated and trying to drive and fussing at him to get back in his seat. Mike turns around to adjust him and asked him why he's getting out. Philip tells him, "Cause I wonna drive!"

2 yrs old, and he's wanting to drive. *sigh* kids!

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Paula, sounds like it is time for a different car seat! I only needed one for Spud when he was little, but I sure can understand why it concerns you!

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My kid is only one....

But at ONE YEAR OLD she says "UH OH" at just the perfect times....

Like if i put food in my mouth and a piece falls out or i get a crum on my she points and says "uh oh"

no one can tell me that isnt funny...lol

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That's too cute Paula! And the ut-oh thing is too. Dylan used to do that too, and now it's even better.

He tore his diaper off, looked at Don and said, "Pee!"

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My 19 month old granson is not saying much yet, but yesterday he was over to get in the pool and walked up on his Pop's dip cup and started saying, yuk, yuk, yuk, which was nothing compared to the face he was making. Where's that camera when ya need it, LOL.

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Today while Don was changing Dylan's poopy diaper Dylan was lying there saying, "Stinky, stinky!!!" Gotta love it! :(

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Well, I don't have any kids, but I can tell a story about when I was a kid;

I was about 9 months old and I was walking around apparently with a bag of cheerios. Instead of holding out my arms to balance myself, I had the bag in one hand and I was eating them with the other, and then I fell down and the cheerios went everywhere. My mom says that I looked at the mess and said: "Sh!t" It was my first word. :(

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Mike was just taking his Paxil - the 2 younger ones were standing next to him.

Philip (2yr old) asked, "Whats dat, Dad?"

and Anne Marie (4yr old) answered him, "Thats his medicine that makes him be nice to us!"

out of the mouth of babes!

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My 4 year old was eating a lollipop yesterday and she dropped it in the floor. She came over to where I was sitting just as she went to put it back into her mouth and I said, "hey that has fuzz or a cat hair on it", she says, "well I dropped it in the floor but I picked off the big fuzzies, can I still have it?" I told her to put it in the trash I would get her a new one from the cabinet. You see we just adopted a himalyan cat and he is nervous and shedding everywhere she hasn't adjusted to the new kitty and forgets that he sheds. (our other cat is taken to a groomer on a regular basis so no extra kitty hair from him) ~Mandy

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Gotta love it!!

My little cousin (Brantley) is 4 yrs old but has the temper of an angry bull, and has two older bros (Brodey 6 and Kyle 14). One night we had just finished eating, and I promised Kyle I would play a game with him, and ofcourse the two little ones had to come into the room too. Brantley and Brodey had just been playing outside and were all hot and sweaty, and Kyle told them not to get on his bed. Brantley then went into the closet and got something out and tried to hit Kyle, when Kyle took it away from him, he proclaimed "I DONT LIKE YOU!" then sat on the floor. After a minuter Kyle started talking about his new expensive basketball shoes, and Brantley proceeded to throw one at him and growl like a bear. Kyle took the shoe away and kicked him out of the room, but Brodey let him back in and Brantley said "KYLE!" then kicked his NEW shoe and said "I don't like you, and I hate your new bastetball sues!!!" and stormed off. It was so cute!!!

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    • Doughgurl

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      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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