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I'm kicking myself right now!!



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OMG...I can NOT believe what I have just allowed myself to do! This morning I was in a rush so I didn't have time to pack a good lunch. I looked in the pantry and grabbed a can of Campbells vegetable Soup 100 calories per serving. I thought, well it's healthier than eating out of the snack machine or grabbing a burger, etc. Lunch time came around and I ate one serving. I guess it was not solid enough because it slipped right through. 1 hour later I am famished and there is NOTHING healthy to reach for. Right about that time we had a very stressful meeting. By the time we got out, I was shakey and weak and feeling some shoulder pain. I knew my blood sugar was low and I needed a pick-me-up. Before I knew it, I had a Hershey's candy bar in my hand, tearing it open and almost scarfing it down. It's like something took over, I totally forgot about the band and lost all reasoning. Hunger won out and my chocolate demon took over. I feel horrible and stupid! How could I have let this happen? I'm totally serious...I did this without a second thought...it was like a dream. I've learned my lesson. From now on, there will be healthy Snacks available AND I will make sure I eat something more 'solid'. :biggrin:

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so you thought the rest of your entire life, you would never ever eat a candy bar ? HAHAHAHAHAHA! Wake up girl! You still can have an occasional treat, just not on a daily basis.

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Don't beat yourself up for one candy bar! :confused:You are allowed to have that sort of thing every once in a while.:biggrin: You just don't want to make it a habit. Just let that go and start over with your next meal.

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Thank you all for your encouraging words of wisdom. LOL...I guess I should have explained better...

1. I am an honorary member of the chocolate Lover's Association...in other words, I am a chocoholic.

2. chocolate, sweets, etc. are the things I binged on for years, causing the weight gain, leading to the Lap Band, etc.

3. I've had 3 fills and I'm still losing very slowly (banded June 24)

Also, the way I just mindlessly reached for the candy bar, like a zombie and had it eaten before I realized what I was doing, scares me crazy and I can't explain why. It's like...what is it going to take to get me to lay off that junk once and for all?

However, you are right, I should not beat myself up over one candy bar. It's just now I want to go home and eat a whole bag. But I won't...I won't...I won't...:biggrin:

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...in other words, I am a chocoholic.

That does explain it a lot better. You still shouldn't beat yourself up. You did it mindlessly that time, but you recognized it for what it was. You didn't go and grab more. I think that is a step in the right direction. I think you did yourself proud!:biggrin: You stopped at one!:thumbup:

We will all do that at some point. As long as you see it for what it is (something you shouldn't eat everyday), then you are ok.

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Oh My!!! If I NEVER ate chocolate again....the world would be in serious trouble. That fact that you ONLY ate ONE chocolate bar is great considering you were in a blood sugar drop and not thinking clearly. Let it go sistah ..... let it go....!!!! Peace!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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