Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

who am I --help-



Recommended Posts

I have been reading alot here and really enjoyed the questions and comments. I was wondering if anyone was having the craziness I have had lately. I have currently lost 77lbs from a size 28 or 26 now in a 20 to 18. I am even having troulbe buying clothes because I want to get baggy things like before and my friends are trying to get me to guy tighter fitting and low cut which look great but I just don't feel comfortable for some reason. Which brings me to my next question. Dating !! I have been out of the dating sceen for some time now. Again because not feeling so great about myself, but now OMG I am ready for action all the time. I have noticed the men looking at me and then I get almost embarrassed. I am ready to put myself out there but not sure just how.. I know this sounds crazy but what the heck is going on... I'm ready for action but not sure just how to get it started again HELP !!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Go and buy those tighter clothes, once you see yourself in them you will understand. I am down from a 24 to an 18 now, and my silloutte is thinner, its the freakiest thing. Get a bra that holds the boobs up too, and get a blouse that is a square neck, all of a sudden with the 18 pants, the new bra, and blouse, you don't even look like yourself and its great.

Now with guys, just be yourself. Its easier than you think.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First of all, congratulations on your weight loss, you have much to celebrate!:lol:

I would suggest going out with friends, that way there isn't so much pressure to "find someone."If you happen to see some hottness well then that is a fringe benefit! Other support will give you the boost of confidence you need, and will also love you enough to be honest about your apparel, in the meantime, perhaps you might buy a personal type of item to keep those action moments at bay till you find the real thing!lol.:cursing:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree, go out with friends and reaquaint yourself in a low key way. This will be easier for you to start . . . and definitely don't hide yourself behind a bunch of baggy clothing . . . show self confidence and dress well. If you can show that you take good care of yourself, people are more likely to notice.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks to all. I did go shopping. I must say I feel better and more confident wearing clothes that fit. They look much better also. I even bought a new bra that fits WOW !! I'm going out with friends this weekend. First time going out on the town in years.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Perhaps you could start out slow maybe internet dating??? That way you could get to know them a bit first. Maybe you could try one of the larger sites like Match.com sometimes they offer free trials. Anyway best of luck I hope you find the perfect guy for you :rolleyes2:

KiKi XX

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks to all. I did go shopping. I must say I feel better and more confident wearing clothes that fit. They look much better also. I even bought a new bra that fits WOW !! I'm going out with friends this weekend. First time going out on the town in years.

so, how was the night ont he town? Hope you were dressed up and held your head high!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The night out on the town was a lot of fun. Started out with just the girls. We ended up at a club and believe it or not I was out on the dance floor for the first time in years. Still a little unsure of things but I can tell you what a confidence boost !! Thanks for all the suport .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congrats on your weight loss. As a larger person, I often stuck to certain clothing "rules" such as wearing black, no horizontal stripes, no sleeveless shirts, etc. I know I am not alone in saying that many of us had to re-learn how to dress at our new smaller size. It's fun to try new things. In time you'll find your own unique style. When you look good, you feel good. Your newfound self confidence will serve you well as you enter the dating scene. Way to go girl! Have fun dancing the night away.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Having your head adjust to your new smaller body is a common problem. I have gone from 200 lbs to 116 and I was recently 108.8 but I still like to wear baggy, "floaty" clothes, however, even though this drives my maw-in-law nuts. She is a big chesty woman who used to be a sexpot and who still likes to wear her clothes sprayed on. I guess we like to stick with what we know, eh. I guess my biggest change is that I now wear great big wide belts around my (baggy) outfits. I still find it amazing that I can wear a belt and that, moreover, the belt looks really, really great. I guess that this is my NSV.

But back to the subject: even at an emaciated 108.8, and I looked like an insect, there was a little part of me that still felt tubby. I guess we never really lose completely that sense of being mama's little fatty. Or maybe this takes many years to lose.......

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Green,

Thank you for your comment. I totally agree. I still have trouble wrapping my brain around what my eyes see in the mirror, and it's been almost 2 1/2 years. I hate this body dismorphia stuff!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×