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Hey Jac, there was quite a fad of practical jokes going on at my hospital a few years back. One of the best (they still tell the story to this very day in certain departments) went a little something like this:

Our hospital uses direct deposit, but on payday everybody gets a kind of receipt with various info on it. Thing is, it's delivered in one of those window envelopes. Below the name of the employee (which shows through the window) is the home address of the employee. If one were to manipulate the envelope in a certain way, the home address of any given employee could be accessed.

Let's suppose an employee of the hospital also had a friend that worked in a convinience store. Every month this friend took delivery of the magazine order (which included many laughable low-rent men's magazines.......titles such as Gallery, Big Jugs, Wet Honeys, etc. ). The thing is, every time the magazine guy delivered the new batch, there were also a TON of loose trial subscription cards that would inevitably fall out of the magazines.

If the hospital employee got a bunch of trial magazine subscriptions from his friend (say, from 7 or 8 weird, disgusting magazines) then he could use the home addresses from work to get a LOT of porno mags delivered to some poor bastard that was the butt of the joke. Weirdly enough, this actually happened. Not once, but several times!

The identity of the practical joker was never revealed (although some names were bantered around as suspects). To this day, that practical joke hasn't been topped at my hospital.

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Ahaha glad you like my posts :biggrin:

lol pleasure stick and quiet time.

pleasure stick sounds like a type of gum :smile:

:rolleyes: It does sound a bit like a type of gum. Although my geek brain automatically went to a sci-fi idea from Star Trek. (Yeah ... I'm a geek, but what can you do?) I seem to remember that Klingons have 'pain sticks' which, if you are even slightly versed in what a Klingon type personality is seems hilarious.

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I prefer small or average size. The way we all feel with society pushing bony models on us and influencing many of us to feel inferior, men have the size thing to worry about. Toys or men, I prefer smaller.

I see some of the larger toys in the catalogs and it just looks painful, not enjoyable.

And, I have an embarrassing story about kids and "toys". One morning when my son was a toddler, I went to answer the door, and while I was there talking to my mother who had stopped by for a second, my son comes toddling over with a vibrator in his hand. How sweet, huh. The night before hubby and I had used it, and I thought hubby had put it away.

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I like medium ones :thumbup:

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Anne summers Rampant Rabbit, by god that thing will blow your socks off! Never found anything that could compare to it.

Ann Summers - Rampant Rabbit Wave - Product_

A friend that I bought one for as a birthday gift described it as 'the present that just keeps on giving'

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It hate using library computers. can't look at anything

Edited by Oregondaisy

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Oh my goodness, I feel like the total macabre mistress here. I have a REAL toolbox filled to the gills with everything you can imagine.lol Some hum, some stroke, some do nothing, some have a curve, nubs, bloops, suck, spin, blow up. lmao:drool::rolleyes2:

Anyways, I have two favs...

my Hitachi Magic Wand...and my frosted glass gspot dildo. I also love my bullet, it is TINY, about a half size bigger than a capsule...yowza it does wonders.:girl_hug::tt1:

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I never knew about this stuff

Edited by Oregondaisy

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deleting post

Edited by Oregondaisy

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Until this year, sex toy shops were illegal in Texas...they finally did away with this law (I think it still stands in Alabama) but here is the funniest blog I found in a local spin-off of one of the major newspapers of SouthEast Texas...Hope everyone enjoys, lol.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Phallus Interruptus: Texas' ban on sex-toy sales goes limp in federal court

sheep.jpgJust in time for Valentine's Day!

Yesterday, a federal appeals court struck down Texas' ban on the sale of sex toys and vibrators, saying the law violated privacy protections of the 14th Amendment. No word on whether the ruling also overturns Texas' archaic law against owning more than 5 ... well, you know ... simulated male organs. (How did they decide 5 were prim, but 6 were slutty?)

"[Texas] wants to use its laws to enforce a public moral code by restricting private intimate conduct," the appeals judges wrote. "The case is not about public sex. It is not about controlling commerce in sex. It is about controlling what people do in the privacy of their own homes because the state is morally opposed to a certain type of consensual private intimate conduct."

You might remember a couple years ago, Beaumont cops struck a brave blow against the scourge of self-gratification by raiding three local shops that sold adult videos and sexual devices. Talk about getting the shaft. They busted nine astonished clerks who were threatening the world order and the virtue of all womanhood by selling dirty movies and blobs of vibrating rubber shaped like a .... oh my god, a penis. (Here in the South we still whisper words like "penis," "pregnant" and "cancer.")

Of course, this is the same state that gave us the chicken Ranch, Anna Nicole Smith and a would-be governor named Kinky, so we're not exactly innocent, but one must keep up appearances, even if one is a state where creating something bigger than the next guy is a virtue. In Texas, you can walk down the street with a six-shooter strapped to your hip, but until yesterday, a dildo was a deadly weapon.

But today is a new day, thanks to the strict constructionists on the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals. Today, you can go on a Valentine shopping spree at your favorite dildo dealer without fear of doing "hard" time. Love is in the air.

But please be careful with these things, friends and lovers. You can put an eye out.

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YES THE BULLET ROCKS!!!! I have to buy them about once every couple of months though. Guess I'm a little hard on them :rolleyes2:! I thought I would have a problem introducing toys in my relationship with soon to be DH, but once I did, he uses it as much as I do!!! BULLETS ROCK!!!!:drool:

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I am addicted to my waterproof purple toy (brand Trident)...It vibrates, it spins, it has a clit stimulator. . . .

I have the same one. I used to have a jackrabbit and I loved it.

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Alright can I just say how annoying it is when you type of this long post and you hit post reply and it says page can not be displayed and everything you had typed out is gone.. AAAAAAAHHHH annoying.. ANYWAYS... Sorry about the rant..

Denise.. Don't be afraid to go into your local XXX store.. everyone at the store is there for the same thing as you. You might feel a little out of your element the first few visits, but you will get used to going in and it wont seem odd..I would rather go to a store then order online because I can look up close at what I am purchasing .... Get a few girlfriends or your boyfriend to go with you.. It is always fun to go as a group.. I personally like my hubby to go with me so he can be a part of the decisions...

Thanks for starting this thread it is nice to come in here and talk about something other then what we ate or how many lbs we lost or gained today ha ha..

A funny I wanted to share... I told my hubby before my preop that when the doctor asked me why I was having this surgery I was going to tell him it is so I could have sex in many new positions... Skinny people make all positions look so easy ha ha.. That is not really why I had the surgery, but it sure will be a benefit :grouphug: Had I said that to the doc it would have been hilarious, but I just could not bring myself to say it that day haha As adventurous as I am I too chicken out :pray2:

Keep having fun everyone.. Take care and best wishes..

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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