I told my husband about my decision to have surgery.

[curvesincali 0]

He was really supportive !!! I could not belive it. You never know how these things are gonna go. Happy,, confused, mad, supportive, weird...

I went with him to see Batman at 9am then to Breakfast... that wasall it took...

I must say that he said "just wanted me to be healthy and was not concerned about the weight".

How did you break it to your honey?

[tammygirl 0]

Oh, I am so happy for you Curves! It is great to have the support of your husband. In my case, my husband is also obese and like me has tried everything. I said nothing until I was very sure in my own mind that this was for me. When I told him, I provided him with literature and invited him to go the support meeting with me. When he raised objections, I did not argue. I simply said, "You know I thought the same thing, but I have been reading and found out that I really did not understand it as well as I thought I did." I suggested he come to the support meeting with me. He did and asked a ton of questions. He was impressed and sold after that. Next Saturday, I am going with him to the surgeon. He has started the process to be banded himself.

Much success to you, Curves!

"The couple that bands together....."

[curvesincali 0]

You have the right idea.

Men can be threaten by any change... Especially when it comes to us as us being their women.

My husband is 6'1" weighs 215lbs, worksout, hard to put on a pound. So telling him this was a dooozy. Glad it went so well.

Thanks for sharing.

[aprilapple 1]

He was really supportive !!! I could not belive it. You never know how these things are gonna go. Happy,, confused, mad, supportive, weird...

I went with him to see Batman at 9am then to breakfast... that wasall it took...

I must say that he said "just wanted me to be healthy and was not concerned about the weight".

How did you break it to your honey?

My husband was very accepting from the beginning. I was much smaller when we met and married so I am sure he is ready to relive some old times! He is also my co-conspirator and helping me to keep this process discreet.

[southerngirl24 0]

Good For both of you guys! It makes it so much easier when you have their support. My husband was concerned at first. He had a lot of questions. We researched the procedure and watched the video on youtube. He also went with me to the diagnostic and had a list of questions himself. LOL. Now we are in this together and waiting to get approved. :biggrin2:

[skinnyoneday 2]

I am so happy for you Curves. You were worried for nothing. There is nothing like a good man at your side.

Personally, I just came out and told my husband. I had gone to see my PCP that day. I had told him that I was sick of being fat and read about getting the lap band. I expected him to discourage me but he was all for it and recommended the group that I had my surgery with. As soon as I got home I told my husband about my discussion with my doctor and said that if the insurance approved I would be doing it. Generally I discuss things like this beforehand but I just didn't want him shooting the idea down. Once I told him about it he knew there would be no amount of talking that would get me to change my mind (if he wanted to). So while he said he wished I had tried harder on my own (he just doesn't get it) he would be there for me and has been. I love that man :thumbup:

April - my situation is the same as yours. My husband met me when I was hot to trot and I'm sure he is waiting with bated breath for me to get back - or close to - the size he met me at.

Tammy - that's pretty cool that your husband is getting banded too.

[tammygirl 0]

Skinny

I gotta give more details about my husband getting banded. Although he is obese, he was quite comfortable with continuing to try the things he always has. He would lose good and then bounce back up plus add more weight. One day, our PCP, a sista, told him about another sista, her patient. The PCP related how she ran into this sista a year or so after the PCP wrote a letter of support for her banding. You know how a sista can tell a story. She really brought it. It seems the sista patient (about my age) dropped about 170 lbs (same amount I need to lose), left her husband and took up with a younger brotha. PCP made sure she rubbed it in about how fine the brotha was. The PCP went on and on about how good this girl looked and how bad her husband looked, how he really should have "done something about hisself." We went home with no further commentary about the PCP visit, but I noticed my husband in deep thought. After he attended the support meeting with me later that week, he announced his intentions to get the band in a manner of fact way.

UMMM....I started to ask him if the PCP's story had anything to do with his decision, but then decided I better leave it alone. :thumbup:

[skinnyoneday 2]

HA!HA! (think bully on simpsons). Your husbands a smart man to know he has to get his game on too.

[Gracey 7]

Tammygirl - very cute story!!! Did you put your PCP up to that?!?

[tammygirl 0]

:biggrin:Nope, SicknTired. I am an innocent woman.

[curvesincali 0]

Hey Tammy,

That brotha had no choice but to get wit the program.:crying:

I am so proud of all of us who are here workin' it out.

Have a great Monday .

CurvesinCali

[TravelLady48 0]

Curves:

It's so good that your husband is so supportive. :biggrin:

I told my husband only once I was approved and my first date was set. I can't say that he was unsupportive, but all he can talk about is how much money it will cost, and he wants to throw up to me about all the other times I have lost weight and gained it back. :scared2:

My son has explained to him how it is for my health and for better quallity of life. DH does not like doctors or hospitals, so he can't understand me going for this elective surgery no matter what we say to him. I will not let him change my mind.

Edited July 22, 2008 by TravelLady48

[Gracey 7]

Stay strong, Travel. Is he insecure? If so, he might be worried you'll get all hot and leave him. Just a thought. :-/

[aprilapple 1]

travelady:

rule #1: know your boy

u know him better than any of us on this forum so think to yourself why is your dh not being fanatical about this whole process? Maybe it's not his style. Think about your life with him ad how he acts in different situations. Maybe its just his way if coping and dealing. Now throw in the money factor. That brings on another set of reactions. My dh is supportive but from the sidelines. Very much limited to: great! Or happy for you! Now if my ins didnt cover it? Let's just say Houston we have a problem. Its not that he doesn't love me enough its just that I have to remember rule # 1 know your boy. Mine is very practical.

So....I guess what I am saying is right now you have got to love big and love hard. Love yourself enough to get healthy and love him enough to be patient while he wraps his head around this whole issue. My good friend gave me this advice: when people r not supportive or understanding, stop holding that conversation with that person.

Find common ground and stick to that in the meantime handle your business with your ALS and journey to good health. God bless!

[TravelLady48 0]

April:

I do know dh after 32yrs, I really think he just doesn't know how to get excited, that's just not his way. I don't know why I should expect him to react any differently. He knows I'm going to do what I want anyway but he still wants to try to control the situation.

He will come around once he starts seeing the results.

Hey SinkNTired:

Yes, he has that kind of insecurity. I have always been there and he does fear I will get out and about more, without him.