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Body Image issues



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In the just over 6 months I've been banded, I've lost 60 pounds. I am, 2/3 the way to my goal. I am wearing clothing I saved from skinnier days and buying clothes in much smaller sizes. But when I look at myself, I still see that I am fat. I've always seen myself as fat even when I was in high school and a size 9. How do you learn to change your image of yourself?

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I have the same problem. I got down to 113 lbs once and saw a fat girl looking back at me in the mirror, until I saw pictures of myself and I saw I was too thin. Have someone take pictures of you--hopefully when you see them you'll see how much thinner you are!

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That is such a good question. I'm just starting on this latest weight loss journey.... although this time I know I'm going to be successful and I'm going to keep it off.... but I've never been able to see myself in a positive light. I zero in on my worst flaws, no matter how much weight I lose. This is probably one of our biggest stumbling blocks. It kind of says that we have bigger issues than the scale.< /p>

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I havent been banded yet but I been working really hard to lose weight before the procedure. I cant stand seeing myself in pictures but I let a trainer at my gym take some. She has taken 3 pictures each a month apart from the other and all I can say is a picture says a thousand words. Keep taking pictures and compare where you are from where you were.

Enjoy those skinny clothes and throw out the big ones cause you aren't ever going back there!

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Hi Abby,

You may be suffering from Body Dysmorphic Disorder. It is quite common in women. It can manifest in exactly the way you describe - being slim, but seeing yourself as fat. There are lots of ways it is shown - being good-looking, but seeing yourself as ugly, even being very overweight and seeing yourself as skinny. It can cause a lot of problems for your self-esteem.

Having someone take photos of yourself as suggested is a good idea, as it can help to see yourself "in a different way" to how you would be in the mirror. There are lots of different things you can do to build up your self esteem, such as self help programs. Talking about it with others is important -- a friend you trust, or a counsellor.

You CAN improve the way you think about yourself, but it won't be instant. You need to do the work.

But as with everything, admitting a problem is the first step.

Good luck, PM me if there's anything else I can do (I used to work in mental health), but the best thing you could do for yourself is find a counsellor you can talk to face-to-face, one who specializes in body issues.

Annie.

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Having looked at the mayo Clinic website and Wikapedia, I do not have the clinical version of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. This is a serious condition and I do not see myself as seriously deluded. I can see the difference in my body 213 pounds to 149 pounds. I can see the difference in my clothes. There is a rational side of me that is saying I look good and I see it. There is another side that is just seeing fat. Not fat thighs or stomach or singling out a body part, but fat. Now I see the problem area and can address them, but not the overall FAT.

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Having looked at the mayo Clinic website and Wikapedia, I do not have the clinical version of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. This is a serious condition and I do not see myself as seriously deluded. I can see the difference in my body 213 pounds to 149 pounds. I can see the difference in my clothes. There is a rational side of me that is saying I look good and I see it. There is another side that is just seeing fat. Not fat thighs or stomach or singling out a body part, but fat. Now I see the problem area and can address them, but not the overall FAT.

Even if you're not clinically BDD (which is definitely something to be relieved about!) you can still exhibit BDD traits. The same sorts of things will help you - talking to someone, counselling etc - but obviously you won't have as much of a hole to dig yourself out of. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

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I was just thinking about this today. I remember all through high school between 135 and 140 on my 5'7" frame thinking I was fat. Boy, what I wouldn't give to be that weight now! I didn't know to be happy with my weight back then.

I gained weight after high school, only to lose most of it for my wedding. I weighed 150 in my wedding dress and thought I looked great (I did). But now, I am kind of looking at my honeymoon pictures thinking, "I had small boobs and a big butt." Terrible. I mentally know I looked fabulous. But somehow I just can't help but being crushed that God didn't bless me with small hips and a big chest. :behindsofa:

So now, as I sit here facing a tremendous amount of weight to lose and trying to recover from surgery, I'm kind of wondering if I will be pleased in the end or if I'll just still see myself as this bubble butt/flat chested person that could always stand to lose MORE weight.

Ugh. Maybe I have that body dysmorphic thing. :grouphug: Or maybe I'm just never satisfied.

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Can this disorder come and go???? Some days I like what I see in the mirror and feel like I look normal. Other days, I'm mortified and still see grossly obese. It varies from day to day. I was thinking maybe it was just plain old depression or something. Some days I think I look like an old hag. My weight loss has made my face wrinkle a little and it's really freaking me out to see myself age so fast. I don't know. What do you think?

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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