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Pending Empty Nest



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Hi - if there are any other parents out there who have recently become or this fall will be an empty nester I would love to hear from you. My son goes to college this fall. He is my only child. Of course I have been very wrapped up in night/weekend school volunteer activities. Luckily I work so that will take up my 9-5 but I am really worried I am going to eat to fill the time. My spouse works and goes to school so he is pretty much gone all the time. I know I will drive the dog crazy hoping he will entertain me. I exercise almost every day at the gym. I don't know what else I can do to fill up the time. Any support is welcome!:P

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You are going to be fine.. You will be surprised how quickly you will adjust .It is a big huge change but he will be coming home for school breaks and summer etc.. Take it slow and then get to know your husband again .. Give it time and trust me you will adjust beautifully .

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Well I never went away to college, but when I was in college I still needed my father almost on a daily basis. I needed advice and counseling and someone to talk to. And even after college I'm still here. Unfortunately, the way things are I kinda need to stay at home because even with a semi-decent job I can't afford to live on my own yet. So don't worry I'm sure even with your son away, he'll still give you plenty to do or worry about.

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I have two sons in college.... YES, the cost is astronomical...

when the second one went away I thought I would die of lonliness. I cried for three weeks. But I got a dog just before he left and that helped. I called a lot, much to his chagrin, and tried to renew old friendships and make some new ones. It will pass, but it took me about 8 weeks to get over it. But I have to laugh. BOTH of them are home this summer and working to save money to pay for next semester. THEY ARE DRIVING ME FREAKING CRAZY!!!! I got so used to having my house the way I want it, I can't stand the mess, the noise, the mountains of laundry, the clutter, the phone ringing constantly, the constant snacking, the beer bottles, the broken stuff around the house, the added expenses, and late nights. I am SO READY for them to return to school. LOL

Suggestions? Take a dance class or an art class. Something creative just for you. You'll have something to get you out of the house, of course a bandster always needs exercise, it's positive, fun, you'll make new friends, and it will keep your mind off your lonliness.

Edited by aubrie

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Bless your heart I soooooo understand!! I have Pre-empty nest syndrome and it's KILLING me. My son just graduated high school and my daughter is a sophomore. But they are very busy outside the home and their home time is limited ( I am so glad their still here some!) I hear there is a life out there after you raise your kids, I'm gonna hold onto that :rolleyes2: Find something like a hobby, I know easier said then done sometimes. For myself I took up writing and ya know what? I'm kinda good at it and enjoy the heck out of it! Good-Luck to you!

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You will do just fine. My oldest child went into the Navy right after high school (2005)and I thought I would loose my mind. I did not hear from him for 5 weeks. Then my second child went off to school (2007) and I thought i would worry myself to death. But she was fine, she was not even thinking about me. Now they are both gone, except for when my daughter comes home from college and he comes home for a few days. The house is a total wreck when they are home, dirty dishes and clothes everywhere. The grocery bill is sky high, but you know what????? I just love it. Love to see them come and love to see the go. I have a chiwahwah (Nacho) that my daughter left, so I have company all the time. Oh did I mention, my mom moved in with me. So I'm not so lonely. Everything has worked out great....

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Hi:

I went through this three years ago. My only Daughter went to live at college. I went and got a part time job at a Kohl's for the first six months. Then I worked a second job during tax season. Then I was exhausted so I just found a way to get used to it. The nice part is that she has a boyfriend who lives in the next town, so she started coming home every weekend. Works out good for me now.

Don't buy the food that you don't want to eat. If it's not in the house you probably won't go out to get it, so don't put the temptation in the kitchen.

There are alot of places looking for volunteers.

Good luck.

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MsMia2u so your mom moved in and your not so lonely? Hmmm I have my mom and mother-n-law living with me and I don't have that pep you have! I would still rather have the kids, and the dog, maybe even a wart hog <just saying> lol No really you sound like you went through it well, Good for you!!! :lol:

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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