Kind of Bummed...

pandagirl · June 9, 2008

I go for my weigh in today. I've only lost about 3 pounds since my last weigh in and I need to get to 300 before the will re-evaluate me for my 2nd attempt at the surgery this year. (First one failed).

I'm stressing because I've felt like I've done as much as I can handle. I feel whiny for not being able to do the full liquid diet thing for two weeks, but then maybe it would be easier if I hadn't been on the liquid diet for so long.

I know I've lost a lot of weight and I sound like a broken record dealing with basically the same issue for the the last few months.

I don't know what to do. I did the straight liquid diet for four days and lost three pounds. The fourth I lost nothing and I felt like why bother? So the next day I had salad and meat for dinner. I stayed steady at my weight and have been there since. I should have "put my nose to the grind stone, been bad ass, put in that extra 1000%" but I'm tired at the moment, very, very tired of preparing for my band. It's been so damned long in the coming and though I know my behaviour is making it even longer, I can't seem to get my head on straight and I feel lost.

I think my biggest issue right now is going into the office and feeling like a failure. I am not. I have lost a significant amount of wieght.

What feels so unfair is the knowledge that I haven't had the band yet and the worry that having gone through what I have is going to make weight loss that much more difficult even after the band.

Sorry, I need to vent because no one at work understands. They just see a whiny hungry fat girl They don't see what I have accomplished, the changes I have made in the last several months or the hardship of not having eaten "normally" for as long as I have.

I know "normal" will be different from days past. I mean normal as in not having shakes day in and day out and avoiding everything that is not veggies or chicken.

Gosh, you'd think I'd be slim as a piece of paper by now. I'm not. I still have a long way to go and today that distance seems so very far.

Again, sorry for dropping this on all of you. Like I said, I just needed to vent and pretend like someone was actually listening.

It's_Christine · June 9, 2008

Someone is listening PG. You have done amazing!

If you would have had the band placed already would you be more pleased with your success? Seriously, weight loss is weight loss....embrace it and Celebrate it. Good luck and stick with it.

AZChick289 · June 9, 2008

I agree someone is listening and I think you should tell your Dr exactly what you wrote here .. That is why we all have the band we can't do it ourself ..We need this tool ... You are going to make it you just wait and see ...

Paula08 · June 9, 2008

You should be so very proud of your accomplishments so far. You have lost a lot of weight on your own and you are very close to meeting your goal so don't give up.

Your pay off is getting that band on and it is worth it! Hang in there and pat yourself on the back for staying with it. You will meet your goals.

heatherlynnTX · June 9, 2008

let me just say that i remember reading your hospital experience and i could not believe what happened. you have done so so goooooood girl dieting and losing without the band. i thought to myself, wow, i've lost before, but at this time in my life there is no way that i could do what this girl has done right now. so you should just lift your head up high and be proud of yourself. you have already gotten yourself so far and you will get to that 300lbs for surgery and when you do you will know that it didn't come easy and for that you should have such a sense of accomplishment. and don't forget it, because when you do loose ALLLLLL the weight, after the band, you can look back and when someone asks you how did you lose all that weight, you can say----well, i did it on my own and then got the lap band to help me finish the job. stay determined---you are doing great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:biggrin:

thewired1 · June 9, 2008

One of the things I keep telling myself is that this isn't a sprint, it's a freaking MARATHON. A strong and steady pace is what it's going to take to reach the finishline without burning out. In our case, burning out is self-sabatoging like not exercising or making less-than-healthy food choices. You're so close!

pandagirl · June 10, 2008

Someone is listening PG. You have done amazing!
If you would have had the band placed already would you be more pleased with your success? Seriously, weight loss is weight loss....embrace it and Celebrate it. Good luck and stick with it.

I know, I know! *laughs at myself* I guess my mini-breakdown has been a long time coming. Yes, any weight loss is good and it doesn't matter if it came off with the band or not. I am still closer to my goal. Thank you for your kind words and for listening. :party:

pandagirl · June 10, 2008

I agree someone is listening and I think you should tell your Dr exactly what you wrote here .. That is why we all have the band we can't do it ourself ..We need this tool ... You are going to make it you just wait and see ...

Hi AzChick, I kind of told her what I wrote here. It wasn't word for word, but it was enough to get the point across. I asked her to make a contract for me to sign, two week, just two weeks on the straight liquid diet. If I can do this, then I can have the surgery I've been working for. Not hard right? LOL, doesn't matter if it is or not. I'm gonna do it. Thanks so much for your support!

pandagirl · June 10, 2008

You should be so very proud of your accomplishments so far. You have lost a lot of weight on your own and you are very close to meeting your goal so don't give up.
Your pay off is getting that band on and it is worth it! Hang in there and pat yourself on the back for staying with it. You will meet your goals.

Thanks, Paula. I need every little pat on the back I can get.

pandagirl · June 10, 2008

let me just say that i remember reading your hospital experience and i could not believe what happened. you have done so so goooooood girl dieting and losing without the band. i thought to myself, wow, i've lost before, but at this time in my life there is no way that i could do what this girl has done right now. so you should just lift your head up high and be proud of yourself. you have already gotten yourself so far and you will get to that 300lbs for surgery and when you do you will know that it didn't come easy and for that you should have such a sense of accomplishment. and don't forget it, because when you do loose ALLLLLL the weight, after the band, you can look back and when someone asks you how did you lose all that weight, you can say----well, i did it on my own and then got the lap band to help me finish the job. stay determined---you are doing great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:party:

Thanks Heatherlynn, a whole lot. Yeah, the surgery day was a bit harrowing, but I think I handled it well. I'll get there. i haven't done this much to stop now. *Gets my best movie cop look* "It's personal now." Okay,maybe that was a bad impression.

pandagirl · June 10, 2008

One of the things I keep telling myself is that this isn't a sprint, it's a freaking MARATHON. A strong and steady pace is what it's going to take to reach the finishline without burning out. In our case, burning out is self-sabatoging like not exercising or making less-than-healthy food choices. You're so close!

Someone told me I have an "A"personality when it comes to certain things. So yeah, I think it's good for me to remember I'm not in competition with anyone, not even myself. I will get there when I get there; I just need to keep moving towards that goal and not let any of this feel like an insurmountable obstacle. Thanks!