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HELP - I'm getting banded and have no support!



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My husband just unexpectedly got a new job in a new state last week. He agreed to hold back the start date, since our current insurance is covering the surgery, but the new one wont. The day after he is driving cross country. It sounds horrible, but my husband is super great and I am excited to be moving and I will have the chance to be a stay-at-home mom again, but....I AM FREAKING OUT that I will be essentially a single parent in the middle of no where for a YEAR!!!! I can't join up with him for a YEAR except for Christmas and our annivarsay due to my job contract. UGHGHHG!!! We currently live 7 miles from the nearest gas station and 15 from the closest fast food. That's good.

And I am freaking out about the surgery. I'm depressed about the move. I have to sell our house, ship everythgin from furniture to horses, find a new daycare and a new job...all while trying to make this lapband work.

My 10 day pre op diet starts tomorrow - I have surgery on the 25. My family is against the move and the band. My friends are envious of the band or at least they really tried to talk me out of it. And I feel like I have no support, even though I have will power and motivation.

I haven't talked with my doctor and don't plan to. My pyciatrist appointment happened weeks ago when everything was "normal" in my life. I have even had my EKG and pre-surgery clearance.

I guess I'm looking for support, friendship, and advise

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I really think that you'll be fine. It's going to be difficult not having support but as long as you have your husband there with you for the day of the surgery you should be fine. How old are your children? If they are young you might want to consider hiring a sitter to come and care for them in-house while you recover for a couple of days. This way, you will still have them near you but not have toworry about picking up kids or dealing with meals. In addition, you might want to start preparing for meals by pre-making them and freezing them. This way you will have them ready to be heated and served with little preparation time.

Good luck on your band and your move...and don't worry about what people think or say. Those people that are truly your friends will support you once the surgery comes around.

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Being a single parent is hard. And I mean parenting alone...married or not.

Good luck to what you decide. But many single parents have the surgery and do just fine.

Me included.

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You have support now! You belong to one of the best Lapband support groups on the net. We're all here to help. Good Luck!

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I went through some major life changes at the same time I was banded and I can relate to how you arefeeling.I lost my job, got married, started college full-time,sent my youngest child off to college, and got banded, all with in a 3 month time period. I read somewhere that it's not the big stresses in life that put a strain on peoples health but rather the little everyday stresses that do us in.

That said, I could not have picked a better time to start putting myself first. It will be hard for you with your young kids but they will keep you busy and active. We'll be here for you to talk to when you need someone. I have kind of discovered that getting a band is something you do for yourself and outside encouragement really isn't there for any of us. You have to be your own cheerleader. Yep, I'm cheering when I look in the mirror. One roll of fat gone 2 more to go!

But my extended family and friends don't really support me like I thought they would and my husband is always worring about how little I eat and if I am healthy. Do this for yourself, stay healthy and talk to those of us who have been where you are, YOU WILL DO GREAT!

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Just keep coming here. You will always find someone to lean on here. You do have a lot on your plate, but maybe that will work to your benefit. For me, the busier I am, the better. It keeps my mind from focusing on food. Good luck on your move and just remember to come here and post about how you are feeling. We are always here for you.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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