Very Discouraged-Any Advise?

mannamay · June 8, 2008

Hi everyone-

Okay, where do I start? May 14th 2008 was my one year post-op. During the one year, I lost, maybe, a total of 35 lbs. Now, what I do know is this. I do need a fill because I can eat virtually anything and it goes down. About 1 month ago, I was going to get my 3rd fill, but of course, life happens, and I could not make it. I have to travel 110 miles to get a fill, so it is not always easy on the pocket or time to get there. Next, I was exercising regularly, but then I had gotten sick, bad sinus infection, so once that was over, I got out of the habit and am having a hard time starting up again. I just can't seem to get motivated and I know that if I don't get the fill and start exercising, I am going to stay in this rutt.

On top of that, I have family around me, making comments about how I am gaining weight and my husband getting upset that I spent money on perfectly good exercise equipment, and how I am not using it. He is 6'4 and has never had a weight problem, so it is really hard for him to understand what I am going thru. I try to make the best food choices. I am not much of a sweet eater, I will occasionally around TOM, have something, but other than that, no. I try to get my Protein in as much as possible, and none of my food will hardly ever get stuck (thank God) but on that same note, I almost wish it did, so I would know that the band is still working.

Has anyone else had this issue? Believe me, I don't care what it takes, this coming up week, I am going to get a fill regardless, but in the mean time, I would appreciate any ideas on how to jumpstart my motivation again. I WAS-getting up every morning, working out, watching my eating, even though I could eat almost anything, and then I expected something to result from it, and NOTHING. It is very discouraging.

Something else I wanted to ask about---Is it normal for your body (WHEN YOU START EXERCISING) to feel run down? It seems like everytime I start an exercise program, I get sick---which will usually cause me to stop. Should I keep going (exercising) even though my body starts feeling sick or just tone it down?

This is what I usually do when I exercise: Walk on treadmill for 30 min. to get heart rate up, then switch to Total Gym for about 15-20 minutes to strength train and tone? Am I doing something wrong?????

Any advise is appreciated and I apologize for writing a book. Thanks!

mannamay · June 8, 2008

Something else I forgot to mention is, my sister-in-law and niece were overweight as well, and a couple of months ago, decided to lose weight, so to throw it in my face that you don't need surgery, they started weight watchers together and have lost a lot of weight already. Which, I am really happy for them, but they will occasionally make comments like I have lost-X amount of weight-so far, but what is going on with you?

Basically, we have lost this much weight w/o surgery, and you have lost how much? That does not help my emotions, and they will say it in a way where what they are saying is not a direct comment, but enough of a comment that it hurts you and I don't know how to deal with that? Especiallly when I am in a rutt like I am. In my mind set, it is really hard to see them doing so well w/o the surgery and knowing that I have paid thousands of dollars to lose 35-40 lbs so far.

I really would like to show them that I didn't do this for nothing and not only prove to them, but also prove to myself. Does that make sense?

SueAZ · June 8, 2008

I have to say that's one reason I'm not telling many people. The comments are stupid and hurtful. Who wants to be judged all the time. They are not you and as everybody says weightloss is a very individual thing. The two on WW are using a buddy system, why don't they invite you to join them in the process, so you are using different ways, the MAIN GOAL is the same. I to am a little on the tired side and don't want to excericse but will make it a point to do something to get it in, maybe not everyday but definatly more than I am doing now.

I would use us here in the forum as your buddy to keep you going cause we all will probably all run into a problem like yours ourselves. The struggle continues...

erikadawn · June 8, 2008

FIRST go get your fills. Without them its going to be a struggle, if you have a tire without air its not going to work properly. Maybe you can see a nutrionist it has to be one closer than your doctor. My nutrionist works alongside the wls doctors and know so much about lapband and gastric. They also usually have more time to sit and talk over food concerns. You have your tool, so use it.

mannamay · June 8, 2008

Sue, Erica, and Jack---

Thank you for the comments. Yes, I should probably get on here more often and use (YOU-My Band Family) to keep me motivated. I understand the two on WW are using a buddy system, I just get down on myself because I paid so much money and I am following the program to the best I can, some days are worse. Every body slips sometimes though.

Jack, yes, I have actually thought maybe I had a leaky band---What do they do about that? I will find out soon. I hope to be at the doc's office by Tuesday to get that fill.

Another question I have is this: I know the Doc will know what fill to give you, but can you request them to give you a certain amount? I know they will say they don't want you too restricted to where you become malnourished, however, I do know that the 2.55cc's I have right now is not enough. I have actually heard on here that some people do not get the restriction until they are at or almost at 4cc's. Not sure, but I will keep you all updated as to what the doc says. Hopefully, everything is okay and I just need that tire inflated. Thanks again.

MaLiyah30 · June 8, 2008

Well I certainly feel your pain. I was banded in Dec. 2007 and I have only lost around 15 lbs. I started out weighing 226 lbs. I am tall approx. 5'8 and I am getting so discouraged. I have had 5 fills and I don't know that I could tolerate too much more of a fill. I have never pb'd or slimed and I can't eat much. I'm afraid if I get any tighter I may start to have problems. I knew it wouldn't be easy but I certainly didn't expect it to be this hard to shed the weight. I am following all of the band rules except for 8 glasses of Water (I only drink around 40 ozs. a day) and I exercise 3 days a week for 60 minutes minimum. I don't know if my lack of weight loss is because my starting weight wasn't that high or maybe I should exercise more. I am so angry and confused. I am self pay as well making me even more upset. I just keep thinking I could have paid off my student loans and my car note!!!!!!!!!!!! I know I shouldn't think this way and I am trying to think positive thoughts. I am glad no ones knows that I had the surgery.

I didn't tell anyone because deep down I had a fear that it wouldn't work for me and it seems as though my fear is coming true. As far as your co-workers goes, tell them that you appreciate them inquiring about your progress, but you do not wish to discuss your weight everyday because you don't want that to be the focus of your life. Focusing on it everyday can cause you to obsess over it and you don't want to do that. Losing weight is a tough emotional issue to deal with and you don't want the added pressure from everyone else.

Chris61 · June 11, 2008

Congradulations on the amount you have lost so far. I have been banded for almost 9 months and have lost 50+ and hope to get a fill in two weeks. I go to the doctor next week. The last time I went to the doctor he felt that I and the wife was fine. He could have done a fill but was a fraid that we would be back for an unfill. I can tell now that I need a fill. When you go next week I would ask him for a fill and then make sure he takes the Fluid out and make sure you do not have a leak. He will know how much was in the band from the last fill. I would also ask him if he can do it under live x-ray to ensure the band is in good position and also to make sure that you are tight but not to tight that you have to come back for a fill. I would also ask him if their is someone closer to you that you could use for fills. We have been seeing are doctor about every 6-8 weeks. Also I would keep a list of things you are eating and talk to some people about it. Also I would try and get your family to buy into helping you and not being negative all the time. Also is there anyone else in the area that has been banded that you can work with and talk to. Allways remember we are here for you. If you have any questions just e-mail me.

Chris