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Surprisingly, I needed an unfill



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So as some of you know, because I blab constantly and write novellas in every post, I've been banded for 3.5 years and have maintained a 100lb weight loss but have been "stuck" in the 190's - 200's and not able to get down. I refuse to give up, and will keep trying and trying until I become a 100% club member.

I went to get a fill yesterday mostly for support from my doctor, talk to her about the constant burping, gurgling, and development of new nighttime coughing.

Turns out I'm so overfilled in my band that I developed bad habits. Dr. Ren was thrilled I lost 12 lbs in three months and explained that coughing in the middle of the night, throwing up once out of a dead sleep were NOT indications that I'm eating too close to bedtime, but that the band was way too tight.

"Wha," I said. "I can still eat pizza! I had crusty bread. I can basically eat whatever I want."

Commence the interrogation. Well, looks like I've been breaking major band commandments unconsciously. :( I've been sipping Water while I ate (and felt like a FOOL for not realizing it, LOL) Oops. I'm eating easier foods that slide down easier, and since my band is overfilled (4.4cc in a 4.0 band) my pouch has enlarged. We looked at my esophagram after the last fill and holy cow my stuff is tight.

So here's the process.

I eat Soup at lunch and eat perfect band amounts. lunch is hard. Hard means perfect in the band world. Kate doesn't care about food.

snack, I usually do a cup of coffee OR a cookie, something high in calories, telling myself I need the calories. Once in a while I try yogurt, but throw out half of it. Cottage cheese is making a comeback in my diet, but I choose Cookies or something junk more often than not. Very, very bad idea.

dinner, I am concerned at my 200 calories consumed in the day (it's at this point I forget about the cookie or brownie). I will talk myself into something dumb like capellini alfredo (you're not dumb baby, you know I love you!!) and because my band is looser at night, and I'm eating longer than 15 minutes (try...an HOUR once I thought about it last night) I can get a normal portion in. Fortunately, I eat little enough in the beginning of the day to offset the calories so I don't gain any weight. (guess who is still 193.8) But I don't lose, either, and my reflux has kicked up, which increases my unconscious eating to calm down the acid bubbles and burping.

It all makes sense, finally!!! I have slowly been loosening the commandments. The band is doing its job perfectly; it's just me not paying close enough attention.

I feel completely rejuvenated. I'm also alone too much, Dr. Ren says, and she wants me to get myself to a therapist. The last one I had who specialized in weight issues was terrible and ended up calling me and complaining that she "had the blues" so I haven't had the urge to find someone else. Lots of my eating is self soothing, still.

But now that my girl {{{{{{{{{LEXY}}}}}}}}}} has been banded and is KICKING BUTT I have a new partner in crime. She inspires me back to proper band behavior, and I can't freaking WAIT to lose the rest of my excess weight.

I can't WEIGHT!

oh, here was something fun. My plastic surgery consult informed me I'm carrying about 15 lbs of excess skin. !!!!!!!!!! Which means that I'm thinner than I was in high school. Lord, that made me happy.

I may ask for another unfill in 2 months. Gonna give myself some time. I went down to 4.1, but I am still burping and gurgling. Dr. Ren swears its my acid reflux, so she has me on meds now :( I'm gonna try my lemon Water daily before taking any meds. Bunny is stubborn.

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Hi:

If you've got acid reflux skip the lemon Water. Lemon has too much acid and will only aggravate the situation.

Sounds like you've recognized your weaknesses and hopefully you're ready to be a "good" bandster again.

Best wishes to you for attaining your goals.

Sue

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Hi,

Sorry to disagree on the lemon but it is very alkalising to the body. I am pasting a post from e-zine on lemon Water.

The beauty of lemon Water is that it is tasty, refreshing and best of all, alkalising. The lemon juice raises the alkalinity of the water so even with standard tap water you can make your drink pH neutral. The alkalising effects of this drink are essential to our blood and energy levels.

Try using lukewarm water for the best results. Congratulations on your re-determination. You can do it girl, we all support you.

Sally

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Discovering that you have been making mistakes and then deciding to fix those mistakes sounds like a great recipe for success. I know I fear accidentally slipping up. Sometimes it seems like it would be so easy to do. Keep up the good work!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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