I'm here to help...

[OnTheWay to Thin 0]

Gonnagetbanded - Hey dont be so hard on yourself, I was banded on the 28th and I totally get it. We are all going to make mistakes in this journey, but the important thing is that we get right back up and go forward. Guilt will not get you anywhere unless you use it productively. It is near impossible not to go off a bit when you are finally cleared for some kind of food, especially if you are one who had both pre and post op liquids for 2 weeks. Take a deep breath, relax and move on!

[OnTheWay to Thin 0]

Long holy cow you dont even look like the same person, you inspire me to reach farther in my goal.

[Meredith2424 0]

Hello everyone.

I feel like it has been awhile since I have posted, but it also looks like everyone has been posting away! I've read and caught up. Congrats to all of you who are doing so wonderfully.

Anyhow, I just wanted to say that I totally understand the whole "people pretending not to notice the weight loss" issue. I have told lots of people that I am getting the surgery. I have had "friends" tell me that they didn't think that I would be the same person once I lost weight and tell me that they didn't want me to lose any weight at all! Well thanks people, thanks for all of that support. Geez! Just yesterday, my skinny sister told me that she was mad that I waas getting surgery. At first I was upset and ran to the bathroom in tears. Then, I came to realize that she might be worried that I will become just as thin as her! Everyone has always called me the "pretty" sister and her the "thin" one. Well, maybe she is afraid that I will be thin too? IDk. All I know is that I don't need that crap and I am not going to discuss this with her again. She doesn't understand what its like to be fat, and probably never will. I asked her what she thought it would feel like to carry another one of her bodies on her back all day long? She said "Well, I never had to think about that because I would never let myself get fat. You did this to yourself!" I was soooo mad. If we were not out to dinner for my moms birthday at the time, I would have leapt across the table and slapped her! The nerve. Oh well. This is not about her, it's about me. I refuse to let others opinions have any impact on my life what-so-ever. I will only listen to the opinions of the surgeon and dietitian. Thats it!

Anyhow, I am starting my liquid diet on Friday. I am ready to start my new life! I am so excited. I have vowed to follow everything that the surgeon and dietitian have told me and that are going to tell me. There is no other option really. I went and got all of my Boost high Protein and light yogurt. I just need to stock up on chix broth and beef broth as well as sf Jello.< /span>

Well, thats all for now. CBL. I took the day off today. It feels good.

[Great2BThin 5]

This situation with friends and family who do not recognize our weight loss has me baffled. A very close friend spent last year losing almost 60 pounds with WW. We often go a couple of weeks without seeing each other, and every time we were together I commented - with enthusiasm - about her losses and how great she looked. She is one of the few people I have told about my surgery, mainly because I knew she would not tell all our mutual friends (and to my knowledge she has not). She also does not acknowledge my weight loss. at all. Worse, I feel us growing apart. Most of our interactions now are initiated by me.

I can understand the other members of our group not noticing. People really do get caught up in all dramas and activities of their own lives, and it takes more than 43 pounds to catch their attention. But, like Long - your group still has not noticed 125 pounds????

Some of my family have noticed and commented - some have not. Both DDs are supportive - and my DS looked at me in amazement about a week ago and told me I was looking great! This, from him who never notices anything!, felt very good. DH could not be more supportive, he's been great.

I hate that feeling of repeating junior high school in my 60's. I did not like it then and I don't like it now. I guess we just have to chalk it up to unhappiness on their part, and let it roll off. I am disappointed, though, that a friendship I valued is maybe not what I thought it was...

I sure am glad I have all of you!

Joann, Amen. I don't like that high school crap at my age. You see, it is more than about weight. As the layers of fat are peeled away our true selves are revealed. My friend is almost a recluse. We used to shop and lunch together several times a week. Now, she seldom goes anywhere with me, and when she does she constantly comments on obese people we see in the store. Her negativetiy his almost too much. I think she is depressed. In fact I think she has always been depressed, but she hid behind the weight. (she was a jolly person). So, you know the email about friendship.....reason, season, or lifetime.......well, losing weight was the reason for our friendship.....the season has passed.

I don't know how I missed these posts when I was here earlier. I"m not sure of the email you post about, Arlene, about friends for a reason, season or lifetime but that makes so much sense. I like JoAnn had a good friend before my surgery that did WW as I did, she was even a leader at one point before she gained a lot of weight back. WE talked weekly after our meetings about our weigh ins, went to lunch regularly, then I realized that I was the one doing all the initiating, so I decided to not initiate anymore and wait for her to call me or ask me to lunch. Know what? over a year later SHE NEVER DID! I was so hurt when it first became apparent that she wasn't going to, but now realize I am so much better for it. You'd think after I lost my weight that someone that was a 'weight buddy' would notice, comment, ask me how I was doing it SOMETHING, but not a word. She is the only one in my small group at church who has never commented on my weight, but before she used to like to give me clothes that had gotten too big for her. HMMM wonder if I should offer her some clothes now? :ihih: Okay that was bad I know.

So I think with this weight loss I am not just shedding weight, I am shedding some old insecurities of needing everyone's approval and I am shedding some people in my life that weren't ever really there for me to begin with.

[ljv52 2]

Long, Charlene, JoAnn, you are all so right. I too have noticed the same things with friends and it's sad, but we cannot allow their actions (and reactions) bother us, because we know we are fragile about our weight. Meredith, I'm so very sorry about the things your sister said to you. She sounds like a very selfish person who obviously has insecurity issues. You are a much more secure person than she is, so I know you'll overcome her hurtful feelings. It's so very hard to balance who we are with who we used to be once we lose even a small amount of weight. We feel differently, even look different and that seems to be threatening to many people. When I applied for that other job at work a month ago, I felt so good about doing so, but the person who interviewed me used to work in my dept. and her first comment to me was, "oh, so I see you've decided to do something about your weight?" She was always a very judgmental person (who's never had a weight problem) and I knew right then and there that I did not want that job because I didn't want to work with her again. It also hurt that she didn't follow it up with another comment like, "gee, you've done a good job", or even "congratulations", nothing. We have to develop very thick skin to deal with these kinds of problems. But I'm willing to deal with them, as we all must be, because we want to be the new us, not the old us. Julie, sorry about your friends -- I understand completely how you feel as I have experienced the same type of thing many times. I do think that when we are heavier, we tended to let people get away with things more and act like things didn't bother us as much (for whatever reason, I don't know why, but I think it's true). I think that because we are succeeding in our weight loss battles, it gives us more courage to speak up about our feelings and not let people treat us like doormats. I do believe that we change a lot more than just our sizes when we lose the weight. This would be a great topic for a discussion at a support group meeting. Julie, I know from reading your posts over the past six months that you give a lot of yourself to your church, friends and relatives. If those woman had been your closest and dearest friends, they would probably had not allowed you to do so much work so soon after your illness. They should have done more to help you instead of going behind your back. Yes, they should apologize, but they probably won't because they are too busy being self righteous about your behavior when they should be appalled at their own behavior. I just wanted to chime in and give you all my support and love and hope tomorrow brings sunnier skies, warmer temps and brighter smiles! Linda

[LittleOleMeinFL 1]

Hi gals~

Just a quick note. I like to check in and see how everyone is. I just put Nelson to bed and took a shower and now am chilling out watching tv with DH. We have found that even on vacation we don't like to eat dinner too late. It's just so much better to stick to regular schedules. We are having loads of fun on our vacation! We went on a city tour today and then ran all over town using the trolley system here. Some of the tough parts of being on my first vacation (away from home) since banded. 1) I am not getting in NEAR enough Water. (It's tough to find bathrooms.. or can't when you are on a 2 hr tour..etc.) 2) Healthy food in small portions has been a challenge. (I have been finding good proteins~ grilled fish or broiled scallops) The hard part is finding healthy veggies. 3) Less will power in saying NO to sweets or other unhealthy choices. (example.. today at lunch they plopped a basket of hush puppies in front of me. I ate one. Fried corn flour dripping in grease and then dunked in tartar sauce! Why didn't I just push it away?! Coming back to the hotel tonight there were chocolates on the bed. I ate one. At dinner tonight they put a bowl of boiled peanuts on the table.. i ate a few) Now, while I realize I did stop at ONE, I also realize that I had to have one. I know I didn't throw the whole game of healthy living out the window, I did give in to temptation. I guess the bigger problem for me is that when I feel myself slipping a little, I fear that I will slip a LOT. That is what always happened to the pre-band me. I am sort of ready to get back to my safe home, my gym, and my normal life. Too much temptation out in the real world right now for this bandster.

Tomorrow DH is in class/conference all day with a bunch of nerdy anesthesiologists. I think I will take Nels on a day trip to a nice beach. Fun fun!

Peace and healthy thoughts to all! : )

[SueGA150 0]

I'm 6 days after surgery and you and I are the same age exactly! I would love to have your support and advice!

First of all, I don't have any appetite right now. In fact, if I consume more than a cup of liquid, it makes me nauseous. Is this normal?

[Meredith2424 0]

Hello again all.

Laura, you are on vacation, don't be so hard on yourself! Have fun, and remember, you've lost 3 pounds while on vacation! Thats awesome! I'm glad that your sister is doing well.

Well, I just wanted to say that I know that when I complain about my sister, it sounds bad and like I don't like her. I love her, but we are just so different. It is hard sometimes to get along, but in the end we have each others backs. You all know how the sibling relationships go.

I also wanted to hear about all of your pre-op diet phases. I'm nervous, but I have convinced myself that I MUST stick to the plan. It looks so difficult on paper. 2 weeks of liquid only. How did all of you do it?

Once again, I would like to thank all of you for your support and sharing of all of your stories. I have been able to identify with so many of you in so many ways.

Thank you! -Meredith

[mroseharvey 0]

Meredith - I can completely understand what you are feeling with your sister. I also have a sister that is 2 years older than me and has been so negative about my LB journey. She started Weight Watchers the week I had surgery and has lost 20 lbs. She is constantly telling me "See all you had to do was go on Weight Watchers" she is always telling me that I took the easy and lazy way out." There are times I just want to slap her. She told me that there is no way that I am going to ever get thinner than her. Its so silly. I told her that I am doing this for me not for anyone else and I am not competing with her. Its just so sad and I can totally relate to what you are going through. Hang in there and good luck with you surgery. Its the best thing that I ever did for myself. I am not losing as fast as alot of people but I am happy that I am losing. I am losing about 5 lbs a month and my doctor tells me that I am right on track to keep it off for life. I love my band.

I am so happy the read that everyone is doing well.

Linda you are so right I have noticed that a very close girlfriend of mine never mentions my weight loss and just ignores the subject. It makes me feel bad....but its her issue not mine. She had gastric bypass about 6 years ago and has put back most of her weight. I try and encourage her and tell her to make better food choices but she does not listen.

Have a great evening everyone.

Rose

[Great2BThin 5]

Meredith, good luck on your pre op diet. I really don't have any tips for you as I only had to do liquids for 24 hours before and I thought that was rough. I can't imagine 2 weeks. It will be over though before you know it and will be all worth it in the end.

Yep understand those sibling (I only have sisters) relationships all too well. Mine were supportive until I got thinner than them. I think as we lose weight it changes the whole family dynamic, my sisters were comfortable with me being the fat sister. Now that role isn't mine anymore and I don't plan on competing for the job again anytime soon!! Thing is it doesn't matter. we are still sisters and should love and support one another regardless. Oh well, it is what it is. I can't change them but I can change me and how I react to it.

[LittleOleMeinFL 1]

Meredith,

Good luck girl on your two week count down to the rest of your life!!! I am so happy for you! Now, my dr did not REQUIRE the liquid diet for bandsters but did require it for bypass. He did highly recommend we do it for a few days to help clean out the system. I did it 4 days prior to op. My sister did the full 2 weeks and did FINE on it. Question for you: Did they say you have to use the Boost? or can you have other Protein drinks? Can you have creamy Soups, or only broth? You will do fine. Knowing that there is a REASON you are doing it, makes it easier to do. They want your liver to get smaller (and it does!) during this two weeks. I have heard of some people getting canceled b/c they were not compliant. Just keep yourself busy and when you feel you can't take it anymore... sign on and talk to us. We will get you back on track! YOU CAN DO IT!!! woooohoooooooooooo

ok everyone.. taking DS to Folly Beach for the day!

[IndioGirl55 32]

Good Morning Gang

Sorry I haven't posted - but my DD from my Lucky #7 thread is coming to visit for 5 days and I have been cleaning shopping etc. Last night had a thing to go to after gym and just haven't had the time to get on the computer and work is busying trying to get my desk cleaned up for when I'm gone..

Hugs to all of you who have pple/family in your lives who aren't acknowledging your weight loss - or who think we are taking the easy route etc - they are totally self centered - ignorant and unkind - Just look at them and shake your head and say you just don't get it do you - now the subject is off the table - We just won't discuss - and yes those pple who don't comment - screw them too - I think some are afaird to say omg you were fat werent you they think that they will offend you.. As someone said this is about us not them it's about regaining control of our lives - and like I have always said and still beleive 1 mil % - no one understands a fat chick like another fat chick does - that is something that we all have in common - we know what it's like to be addicted to food - for those who aren't they just don't get it - just like pple who aren't addicted to drug - they don't understand why a drug addict just can't say NO...

So when talking to these pple who have never struggled with their weight - just don't have this conversation with them - cuz no matter what you say they truly aren't going to understand our issue.

Ok I gotta get to work - CBL

Girls Keep up the good work - Meredith hugs on your pre-op whats your surgery date again so I can write it on my calendar??

[Charlene K 1]

Janet.........Missed ya! Have a great time with your Lucky 7 visit.

[Mrs. Bubba 0]

Hi girls.... I'm feeling better today... have been helping DD put in some shrubs and flowers in front of her newly remodeled little old house.. They look good, I'm bushed, baby is sleeping at her house now, and I get to chill for a while now.... This is good... DH will be home at 5:00 and we will do yardwork.. I get to do the riding mower thank goodness... Even that takes a lot out of me...

Those pre-op diets are all different depending on the doc... I had two weeks of protien shakes for Breakfast and lunch and then meat and veggies for supper... I lost 20 pounds on that, but I hated those dang shakes... Won't use them unless forced to ever again!!!! Good luck to you on yours, Meredith.... It seems like forever, but really it goes fast when you look back instead of forward...

Janet, have a great time with your company... I'm sure you will be off running all the time... Sounds like fun...

Linda, thanks for your kind words... You have me figured out... and you're right... I'm trying to just let it go.. Trouble is I have to I have another event with the same bunch next week-end... Can't Wait!!!!?????!!! Homemade ice cream and pie social during our town's celebration for the general public... and it's at my house!!!! I won't even be able to leave... Guess I can go lock myself in my bedroom and come out when it's over...LOL...... I'm hoping it will be fine... I'll say my prayers...

Well, time to sit in my chair a bit before DH comes home.. You all take care...and have a good evening.. Julie

[Great2BThin 5]

Good afternoon. I am so tired! I got to get some good sleep tonight. I have a big day. DH is giving me a bad time. See I normally only work 3 1/2 to 4 hours a day and tomorrow it's 8. LOL Yes I am spoiled. I am filling in for someone who's on vacation. DD is causing us a few issues and I've had trouble sleeping cause I dwell on it. But I am finally getting that we did the best we knew how to raise her (she's 27) and the choices she makes now are her own, as well as the consequences. But it's so hard to watch your child make such stupid decisions.

I got a small tweak of a fill yesterday. They put back half of what they took out 2 mos ago when I started having reflux. So far so good and it seems to be helping with my hunger I've had lately.

Today I went and sat at the hospital with a friend of mine while her DH got a lapband (same surgeon as me) and the surgeon told them he had a great role model in me as a bander. That was nice. Then others in the waiting room heard us talking and suddenly it seemed like I was having my own little support group. There were 4 having bands today and either the patient or their family members were full of questions. It was fun though.