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So when do I cut myself a break?



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So when do I cut myself a break? I know with weight comes self esteem issues but dang! I have spent most of my life heavy. This means I have spent most of my life avoiding the issue of weight. You know, I didn't want to talk about clothes sizes, diet or what I had for dinner. I never wanted to draw attention to myself.

Here I am 64 lbs down and I don't want to draw attention to that. I didn't even realize it.

My husband and I were at the store when we ran into a member of our church. She was very nice, told me I looked good and WOW she sure could tell I had lost weight. I thanked her and kinda changed the subject, she went back to it asking how much I had lost. I answered and changed the subject, she went back to it, you get the idea.

When we parted ways my DH said " Man you blew her off" I was shocked! " Was I rude"? He told me no that I wasn't rude but I sure did skirt around the whole weight issue, like I was uncomfortable with change. That just about knocked me over. I have so craved change in my life, I have prayed for this. I am so very happy with what I have done so far with this band! So why did I want so bad in the middle of that store to be talking about ANYTHING other then me? Weird huh?

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So when do I cut myself a break? I know with weight comes self esteem issues but dang! I have spent most of my life heavy. This means I have spent most of my life avoiding the issue of weight. You know, I didn't want to talk about clothes sizes, diet or what I had for dinner. I never wanted to draw attention to myself.

Here I am 64 lbs down and I don't want to draw attention to that. I didn't even realize it.

My husband and I were at the store when we ran into a member of our church. She was very nice, told me I looked good and WOW she sure could tell I had lost weight. I thanked her and kinda changed the subject, she went back to it asking how much I had lost. I answered and changed the subject, she went back to it, you get the idea.

When we parted ways my DH said " Man you blew her off" I was shocked! " Was I rude"? He told me no that I wasn't rude but I sure did skirt around the whole weight issue, like I was uncomfortable with change. That just about knocked me over. I have so craved change in my life, I have prayed for this. I am so very happy with what I have done so far with this band! So why did I want so bad in the middle of that store to be talking about ANYTHING other then me? Weird huh?

I think its the compliments that for me are uncomfortable. I dont know how to take them i guess ?

I never have really . I have not been over weight all my life but have had self esteem issues though.

But My weight LOSS is something different. I have NO Qualms at all about telling anyone any everyone that

A. I had lap band surgery

B. How much weight I have lost

C. How much more i Have to go

D . How long its taken me

E anything else they want to know about surgery !

You should be VERY PROUD Of how much weight you have lost.

SHOUT IT from the roof tops girl !!

I Think you probably need to get use to attention . As over weight people we have tried SO Hard to draw attention AWAY from ourselves that when it suddenly is coming AT us it takes some getting use to .

But EMBRACE IT !! You deserve it

Love

Mindy :cursing:

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Embrace compliments. Many women can't handle compliments...weird but true. Even thin, beautiful women can have a hard time with them.

Saw an entire show on this...Dr. Phil or something.

So, it's not the weight...it's something more deep rooted.

You deserve compliments! You deserve to be validated by others...Validate yourself!

Congrats!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

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