So many worries!!

[newhope4me 0]

My daughter (her highness, age 12) has me worried to death this month!

1. Went on class trip for 2 days to San Diego, luckily that went well, but i was so worried she would get seperated from the rest of the kids and lost or something.
   
2. going to her first school dance this next week. she has naturally curly hair that is adorable, but of course like every curly headed person, she wants to straigten it, but we aren't going to let her before the dance because it makes her look older, lol.
   
3. she is flying, alone, for the first time the week after that to grandma's
   
4. in the same town as grandma (my hometown) her step-siblings have been getting into awful trouble (13 yr old caught drinking, 12 yr old broke into school w/ his friends) and i'm worried about the negative influence. hubby said that if i'm that worried i shouldnt let her go, but her grandparents havent seen her in about 6 yrs, and they helped pay for 1/2 her airfare. my daughter is a bit naive for her age (i've noticed when she's around her friends) but i'm concerned about her being corrupted.
   

i grew up in that town, and the kids do start drinking and doing other things parents dont like to think about young because there is nothing else to do (population of about 2000, with most of them being elderly). i've already talked to my daughter. her response to the infractions that her stepsiblings committed were: "drinking? she's only a year older than me, how was she drinking?" and "he broke into the school, why would anyone break into the school?" her dad is in jail (another thing i dont like is that her granparents are going to take her to see him, but he is her dad) and divorced from her stepmom, but i guess they were dating when he was arrested, so the kids still go to grandma's house. i hate to tell my daughter to stay inside the whole time, lol, but thats really what i want to say, "stay at grandma's house, don't go anywhere with anyone!" also, i guess i still have resentments towards this town, because it is a "good ol boys" town and almost every girl i grew up with was sexually assaulted as a girl and nothing ever happened to the men or boys that did it.

should i mention my concerns to grandma (this is her dad's mom) or is it going to sound like the exwife not wanting her kids to play with the stepkids? i am going to let them know about my daughter's new eating habits, i know she is going to get soda at grandma's but i dont want them filling her full of sugar. (grandma is diabetic, but usually when the kids are around, well, when my boys were young, she would load up on junk food for them)

like i said my daughter is a bit naive, still thinks boys are icky (probably helps that she has 2 older brothers that convince her of that, lol), am i right to worry or am i paranoid?

[MerryHearted 20]

FWIW, I'd be a little worried too. :wink_smile:

Will you be giving her a call every evening and chatting to feel out how things are going?

I wouldn't mention the step-siblings worries to her Grandma for the reasons you mentioned, but I would mention your daughter's naivete just so she's aware.

I'm sure things will be fine. Does your daughter have some activities she's planning to do with her grandparents while there to stay busy? Or some activities she likes to do that she can do when Grandma & Grandpa are busy with other stuff? I'm betting that since they haven't seen her for so long, they'll be less likely to just be letting her wander off on her own -- they'll want to be spending time with her.

[newhope4me 0]

just today i was thinking of buying several craft projects, stuff she can do with grandma. maybe i'll have her make a list of stuff to do with them. that is a good idea.

usually i complain about her being inside all the time either on the computer or playing games, but when i mentioned some of this to her, she said, "do you know how many games grandma has" lol.

with grandma's diabetes (she can't walk well or very long) and it will be summer (grandma doesn't like the heat) activities will be limited. but i am hoping that they won't want her out of their sight.

and yes, i will be chatting with her daily, i even activated a cell phone for her, first for the class trip and now for her to take to grandma's with her. a couple years ago verizon didn't have service where she is going, so i checked with this before i got the phone, thankfully now they cover that area!

[want_so_bad 0]

i dont envy you at all! i have boys that are 8 and 9 and even though they get into the "normal" type kid trouble, some of the stuff they tell me about the kids at school, can we just say, omg? where are the parents?

but i have to say, your whole "i grew up in that town, and the kids do start drinking and doing other things parents dont like to think about young because there is nothing else to do (population of about 2000, with most of them being elderly)" is bull! i grew up and live in a small rural town. there are things to do, you just have to do them. find things for the kids to do. i keep my boys busy to instill in them that there ARE better things to do with your time then to get into trouble. i want them to be involved in as much as possible at this age so they will already be involved when they are older and the trouble is more of a possibility. i know you were just saying that is how the town was/is, it just bothers me when i hear that. especially growing up in a small town! i dont mean to come down on you if thats what it seems like. hell, i even used that saying when i was a teen...we went to the party because there was nothing else to do...bull-phooey. it just happens to be what we choose to do!

i hope you get things figured out that work for your daughters time away!

[newhope4me 0]

I understand what your saying, and you sound like a great parent. However, many of the parents there just let the kids run wild. As i said, its a small town, and considered "safe" so kids pretty much (when there is no school) get up, leave the house, hang out with friends, and just run wild all day until they are expected home or parents go looking for them.

This is why I've had my daughter make a list of projects she wants to do with her grandma (make Cookies, craft projects, etc). Grandma won't go anywhere, too hot and she doesn't get around very well. Grandpa will probably give her a ride to the pool and back when she wants to do that (and i've told her she's not allowed to go to anyone's house from the pool. that if she makes friends there, she can tell them she'll see them at the pool the next time she goes).

Her dad is trying to work out a deal to get out of jail for a couple of days so he can see her while she's there. And I know I'm a bitch, but i'm going to make a call to the judge. I dont know if it will matter, but I thought they might want to know that he had talked with my son about running from the charges that he's in jail for(and the additional ones he's still facing). I don't think they should let him out. I know grandpa would never take the kids to see him in jail-he doesn't think the kids should even know. Wants the kids to think their dad is "out of town on business"

The last time she was gone to visit (she was only 4), I dropped off a confident, happy little girl that never got in trouble, loved to help everyone. What I got back was a girl with no confidence who whined about everything and couldnt do anything because "i'm too little". Is it any wonder its taken this long for me to allow her to visit again. Only that time it was at her dad and stepmom's house.

I hope i'm just paranoid. As the day gets nearer, my stomach gets more upset and tighter. Wednesday is going to be so hard for me.