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Unusual question - not sure where it goes



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Hi guys! I've gotten such great support from this site! I thought I'd try asking a question that I'm not sure anyone will be able to answer - who know's?- maybe my situation isn't as unusual as I think. My husband uses wheelchair because of chronic progressive MS. He needs help transfering to and from the bed and toilet. He can't dress or bath himself. I' having my surgery on May 7 and the doctor said I can't bend over or transfer him for two weeks. He only weighs 140lbs (Yeah, we're the Sprats). We're going to increase the personal care assistants hours for 2 weeks but that seems like a really long time. Does anyone else have expieience with care-giving after banding?

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Your doctor sounds like he is being 'generous' in your case! My doctor wouldn't allow me to pick up anything heavier than 10# for 4 weeks. 2 weeks seems like the bare minimum to me.

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My doc made me wait 6 weeks, and I don't think it will slip your band, but, can pull stitches which could lead to a slip or pull stitches in your port and make it come unattached... and this is speculation, but my port was flipped early on so I had to have another surgery.. and I was cleaning my house 1 week post op and I shouldn't have been. I was bending over, etc. I can't help but wonder if that was part of it. I thought I was taking it easy, but hindsight is 20/20.

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My understanding is that you will be able to bend as soon as it does not hurt you. It is just a result of the swelling in the area and the incisions needing to heal. You probably will bend before you lift. I also am not to lift more than 10# for at least 4 weeks. My doctor is very cautious when it comes to lifting, though. He, unlike most, recommends not doing any weight lifting exercise for 6 months!

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Hmm, good question - I moved about 6 weeks after my surgery and my doctor made me promise to take it easy with the packing and moving and all of that - and that was just lifting boxes. I would say see how your recovery goes (some people heal better than others, etc) and when you are at the two weeks that your help would be finished see how you feel but I would definitely consider extending the help a bit if possible. You are going to all the hard work of getting this band in and becoming healthier, you don't want to jeopardize anything if you can avoid it.

good luck!! :smile2:

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In my opinion it's all a matter of what you need to do within reason. I have an 18 month old daughter and 2 days after surgery I was picking her up and carrying her because I had to. Now, when I say within reason...obviously my 20lb daughter and your 140lb husband should not be compared but two weeks sounds reasonable. I'm a week out and still pretty sore in the port area and can definitely tell when I've been nending/lifting/stretching too much.

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I have a friend who runs a restaurant business. She slipped TWO bands lifting stuff in the restaurant too soon. She must be a real trouper, because she went back for a third time and seems to be doing well now.

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I wasn't allowed to lift more than 10 pounds for 6 weeks. My surgeon was very firm on the six weeks and at the time my son was only 13 months old. I asked if there was any way around this and if I could lift him any sooner being he was only 20 pounds. He said for my health and the long term success of the the band wait 6 weeks and no sooner. It gives your body time to heal, especially the ones on your stomach. Good luck-I know this can be very difficult, but in the end it will be worth it!

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Thanks everyone. Thank goodness we'll have our PCA here. I told her about the surgery and my limitations. We can't have someone 24/7 though and I'm worried about something happening when she's not here. I want this so badly - one of the many reasons is so I can take better care of my husband - but I'm nervous about the healing process. :unsure:

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Do you have any family or friends nearby that you can call on to help you if a situation arises?

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Chaucer's Wench... Do you belong to a church or any civic organizations? Many times if the parishoners/members know your needs they will bend over backwards to rotate out coming to your home to help. If so, these persons wouldn't be strangers to your husband so he wouldn't feel so exposed and vulnerable. Does he have control of his bathroom needs? If they just stopped in regularly at a set time could he hold it until they arrived? Bless his heart. I know he would want what is best for you too.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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