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I'm such a failure!



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Hey all. I'm being banded on the 28th and my Dr. has me on a liquid diet for close to 4 weeks prior. I've been really good with not cheating...until today. :lol: I took my son to see Ben Stein's movie Expelled and he ate his chips with cheese and drank his drink. The smells of popcorn were heavenily. I ate my Optifast Protein Bar slowly to help keep the cravings away. I made it through the movie fine. (I recommend Expelled!)

Anyway, my little one here stuck a Frito in my mouth. I sucked on it. That was the wrong thing to do!:biggrin: I then ate some, got mad at myself for it and to deal with the disappointment I ate more of them. I blew it. Big time. :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

Does this mean my chances of failure after surgery increase, because I cheated this time? Gawd I hope not.

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Um, no sweetie, it means you are human. Just don't do it again and learn from it! I can tell you I did it on my pre op once as well. I am not even close to a failure. You don't have to accept that you are one, you can change your mind.

Just be strong and don't do it again. Next time you want it, go find something else to do with your mouth. Gum, blow bubbles, whatever you need to do. JUST don't cheat again. Once can be forgiven.

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Thanks you two, I appreciate it. Yes, I'm hoping to go about this pre-op (and then post-op life) with more determination than ever.

I just had a sinking feeling that MAYBE because I cheated after 2 weeks that it'll mean I might more than likely cheat before I can actually EAT food again and wondered on the likelyhood of that...even if it is more likely, I'll blow that stat out of the Water and prove it wrong!

(sorry if that was confusing, my mind is going faster than my fingers are)

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I didn't have to do the pre-op diet and I can tell you that I was more determined that ever after the surgery. Jack and BBK are totally correct... this was one time. Now you don't do it again. If you read very many of my posts around here you will here me say over and over again...you have to have a plan. Now you know what will happen when faced with a "frito". Now the question is what will you do next time. Plan it out in your head. There is no way even after 8 months into this journey that if I didn' have a plan that I could turn away chips, Cookies, brownies, fritos, etc if I didn't have a plan. You have to know what to do BEFORE you are faced with that choice. It makes success a lot easier. As for the post op diet...I stayed true because I was afraid I would do something to the band. Fear kept me honest! Besides I am sure that you are a strong person. Don't underestimate yourself. You will need will power (I know, we all hate it) but you have it. Just dig deep.

Good luck!

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I found that not cheating got easier with time on my pre-op diet. I did 3 weeks. The middle week for me was the hardest. I wanted everything. One night while my family was watching a movie, I snuck into the pantry and closed the door. I felt I had to have something or I was going to go crazy. I stood in the pantry and ate a finger of Peanut Butter, a plain piece of bread, and two handful of Doritos. I was ashamed that I had done it, but I got right back on track and didn't cheat again. It was just a moment of "have to" that I couldn't control. Now that I think back, I'm wondering why I didn't just put the PB on the bread! I was just blindly grabbing stuff and eating it. It doesn't mean you're a failure, it means you are human and liquid diets suck! I was banded four days ago and I am very ready to follow my diet as my surgeon recommends because this has been too hard just to mess it up. Will I also feel that way? Probably not, but all I can do is take it one day at a time. Good luck and don't beat yourself up about the fritos.

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Even from the other side of being banded, I dont know how people do the liquid diet! I didnt have to do one, and I tried anyway and failed utterly - well, I *was* fainting every time I stood up after 3 days. I couldnt hack it. My DH has to start his in 4 weeks time and wants me to ah, support him! I told him I would but I can tell you right now, I'll be eating food during the day when he's at work and only making it *look* like I had Optifast for lunch! I can state categorically that I would not have the willpower to do two weeks of that diet, I just couldnt do it.

So if you're a failure, I'm ten times worse and I've lost 120% of my excess weight.

Just keep going, put it behind you and one, two or even three slip ups are not going to mean that your liver is the size of an elephant's! Most people would be fine for surgery without the pre op diet, its a precaution mainly, so dont panic over it, just try to do the best you can.

After banding, the liquid diet was a piece of cake!

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No, it only means what you think it means. Anyone can have a slip. I have never heard of an entire 4 weeks food free -- so hard! The worst I have heard of is one week food free and my doctor says two days before surgery is all you need. Do not feel like a failure, just get back on track. And perhaps call another doctor with a more lenient program!

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Thank you to everyone. I was really beating myself up there for a while! I'm better about it now - came to peace with it and have been following my liquid diet faithfully ever since.

6 more day until surgery - I can hardly wait!

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hi

i agree with jachut...if we were able to do these "diets" before banding....why would we need the band. i was lucky to have a doctor that didn't require it. i probably would still be almost 100 lbs overweight if he did.

in the scheme of things......i hope you enjoyed the movie and the treats. after banding you will have plenty of time to fine tune your eating plan

good luck

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I wouldnt worry about it the first time. Dang, a four week pre-op liquid diet? I was on mine for three days prior.

You can do this!! Just remember that! It will be worth it in the end.

Good luck with everything!!

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Sorry to be a little late to the party. :redface:

In the scheme of things, yeah you cheated. But you also stopped yourself and didn't go running to the concession stand to snarf down a huge bag of fake buttered popcorn, followed by a $15 bag of M&Ms and a trough of Coke.

Here's a secret. The second day of my two week pre-op diet I went a little crazy. I had six Hershey kisses. Why? Because I knew they were still sitting in the dining room leftover from Easter and I knew I had to get them out of the house. Of course I should've just given them to the kids, or my husband or thrown them out (F*CK NO!! Throw out perfectly decent Hershey Kisses!! The HORROR!!!). So I ate them. And I felt like a total failure.

But at the end of the day, the sky didn't fall, and my surgeon didn't deny me my band, and my family still loves me.

So, chin up Wilbur. We all have our shortcomings. What's good is that you know you need to stick to the lousy preop diet (and yes, it sucks. I've been there). And even better yet is that you stopped at one Frito (do you know what kind of acts I'd be willing to perform... or, well, at least consider performing for a Frito right now?)

Things will get better (at least that's what I keep telling myself).

So, come join me on the bandster bench and we can sit it out together. OK? :hurt:

hugs

-m

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Just do not continue to cheat...get back on that horse and ride it to the finish line without any more problems.

Maria

I'm on it. But I have to say, I saw a commercial for Chilli's mini burgers that I just can't get off my mind. The devil on my shoulder tells me they'd never know, but I would know. Boy that commercial is tempting, but I promise I will not cheat again.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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