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Did anyone else feel unhappy?



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Hi All. I had my banding on April 15th, and I am a 36 year old wife and mom of two children, 7 and 9.

I am really, really unhappy. The past few weeks have been really hard- I was in the hospital due to a diabetic coma for five days three weeks ago, then last week my husband's brother died (cancer), then on Tuesday I was banded. I have been trying to work, take care of my house and family as well. It has been too much.

My pain was very bad, and has been getting better every day. I am having a problem with wanting to eat everything in my path, everything on TV, etc. I even am craving foods that I do not like. I am very unhappy that I have to drink everything, even though I knew I would have to. I want a piece of lamb, hamburger, olive, salad, etc. I know I cannot eat it, and I am actually angry and resentful about that right now. :tongue_smilie: Am I crazy? Did anyone else go throught this angry/unhappy stage?

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I went through this after my surgery as well. I wanted to eat everything and was worried that I had made a mistake in having the procedure.

I am about 4 months out now, and I am doing much much better. You will get to eat again, not to worry too much.

Sounds like you are going through some emotional problems as well, so this will complicate the urge to eat. This emotional stress may trigger "head hunger" and make you feel like you want everything. My advice is to try to divert your attention any way that you can. Take a little walk if you feel like you want to eat the doors off the house. That helped me a lot. :tongue_smilie:

It will get better, please dont stress yourself too much about it. You need time to heal and to get past the emotional strain that you are currently in.

I hope this helps.

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Anyone in your situation would be feeling down. Out of control blood glucose levels alone can cause changes in mood. Add a death in your family. Add life changing surgery. You have been through a lot in a very short period of time.

My suggestion is that you be patient with yourself. Stick with your doctor's instructions. Treat yourself with compassion.

And..hang in there.

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Sounds like you are going through and emotional time, one that you would normally turn to food for comfort - and you can't. One of the greatest stuggles I image with the band is learning to deal with emotions without using food.< /p>

I'm sorry you are having a hard time.

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I was banded on the 31st of march, and just like u I'm seriously regretting making this decesion. I get angry quickly, and I cry on the stupidst things and to make things worse I only lost 6 kilos in 3 weeks, is this normal?

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Hello, I had my band on Aprl 16 and I have a 3 year old son. I have so far been ok. I haven't had quite the struggles you are having right now w/loss of family and diabetes however I do understand the emotional eating and that sounds like exactly what your having. Its good your talking about it that will help. Take sometime be it a few hours and do something to pamper yourself. You did the procedure for a reason so keep your eye on the prize. Things will get better take it one day at time. Take Care

Jennifer

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I was banded on the 31st of march, and just like u I'm seriously regretting making this decesion. I get angry quickly, and I cry on the stupidst things and to make things worse I only lost 6 kilos in 3 weeks, is this normal?

2 kilos a week is FANTASTIC weight loss!!! I hope that when I start eating solid foods again that I will lose 2 a week, it's certainly not something to worry about.

One of my banded acquaintences told me that a few weeks after her operation she experienced pretty bad mood swings and attributed it to the anaesthetic hangover. I've been a little teary but I'm only on my third week and am dealing with some unrelated stress as well.

It will get better. Chins up :thumbup:

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From what I read it's normal to go through a period of regret and mourning. Of course you are in a different situation with the death of a loved one, etc. I can tell you that it finally hit me yesterday what it means to be banded. We took my girls to get ice cream for dessert and they also have hamburgers, fries, etc. I had a couple of tastes of ice cream and it didn't taste good at all. It was so sweet. However, I found myself staring at the family sitting across from us. They had giant hamburgers and fries. It smelled so good and it finally hit me that I might never be able to eat a burger again. I realized that going to our favorite steak place would be a waste of money because it's a buffet type thing and you can't bring home a doggy bag. It made me sad. Logically I know that this is best for me because I can't control what I eat which is why I'm in this position in the first place, but I feel so deprived right now. I'm really not hungry, I just "want" something. I want to chew. I know that in a month I'll be glad. I know I'm on my way to being healthy and looking great. It's just a hard time right now. So, my point is that you are not alone and I think what you are feeling is totally normal. I hope you find peace soon. Good luck!

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I too have been struggling with my recent banding. I was banded 4/10/08. Last night was the first time I actually cried and said how I was feeling. All day long I had head hunger yesterday, but I wasnt physically hungry. This is really hard to admit because you dont want to feel like a failure. The only thing I can tell you is to talk yourself through it and try to figure out why your "head" is hungry. We didnt become food addicts over night, and we wont be "cured" over night. Just keep hanging in there. We are here to help you get through it~!

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Thank you all so much for the empathy and advice. It makes me feel that I will make it through this.... You are all so great!:thumbup:

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I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you've gone through so much recently. I can't imagine. I just wanted to say that I totally understand the loss your feeling over food. It was both my best friend and my worst enemy. I was banded on 4/15/08 and haved cried several times.I go through bouts of hunger but my drinks seem to fill me up. But, I am soooo sick of them. I also would love to have something to chew. The only couple of things keeping me going are... 1 I don't want to end up back in the hospital because I've seriously injured myself with food of all things. 2. I know that my four weeks of liquid are so small in the huge picture of things. Life can only get better-right? I am marking the days off my calendar. Can't wait to move on to the pureed stage-lol. Really though I hope things get better for you. Just think how happy you'll be to reach your goals and be without the diabetes. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

-mariah

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From what I read it's normal to go through a period of regret and mourning. Of course you are in a different situation with the death of a loved one, etc. I can tell you that it finally hit me yesterday what it means to be banded. We took my girls to get ice cream for dessert and they also have hamburgers, fries, etc. I had a couple of tastes of ice cream and it didn't taste good at all. It was so sweet. However, I found myself staring at the family sitting across from us. They had giant hamburgers and fries. It smelled so good and it finally hit me that I might never be able to eat a burger again. I realized that going to our favorite steak place would be a waste of money because it's a buffet type thing and you can't bring home a doggy bag. It made me sad. Logically I know that this is best for me because I can't control what I eat which is why I'm in this position in the first place, but I feel so deprived right now. I'm really not hungry, I just "want" something. I want to chew. I know that in a month I'll be glad. I know I'm on my way to being healthy and looking great. It's just a hard time right now. So, my point is that you are not alone and I think what you are feeling is totally normal. I hope you find peace soon. Good luck!

Bea1128

I will be banded on May 14th and I smiled when I read your post because I totally identified with what you said. I did have a period of mourning about around the time I was to meet my surgeon for the first time. I too realized that I would no longer be able to eat the amount of food that I am used to. Not that I was a big eater but I do love sweets!!!! Which I usually eat when I'm bored. That has been my problem all my life, I tend to graze the sweet stuff when I am sitting idle. But I believe as I am getting close to my surgery date I've come to terms with the fact that I won't be able to eat as much, but in moderation . And as for the sweets, I am retraining myself to not give in to all my cravings. When I want to eat something I shouldn't , I usually wait a couple of days and see if I am still craving it. If I find myself not wanting it, then I save that splurge for those days that the thoughts linger. Hopefully, they will come far and few in between after I am banded.

Good Luck to all!

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2. I know that my four weeks of liquid are so small in the huge picture of things.

4 weeks of liquids is very long and you will probably find that after 2 weeks or so you can comfortably move onto something with a little more substance like scrambled eggs or puree veggies or fruit. I would check with your surgeon, but the rules are so different with every surgeon that I have been thinking of them more like guidelines, and am trying to be more aware of what my body is telling me in terms of hunger and thirst, rather than what my head tells me, which is "EAT A pizza NOW!!!!" :thumbup:

One major problem I'm having with liquids is now that the swelling has gone down, the liquid goes straight through and I am hungry again in a very short time. For me, this means severe pain across my back and ribcage that's very hard to relieve, food, painkillers, hotpack and laying down seem to be the only things that work. I had my first scrambled egg at the week and a half mark and it was SO great to get something in my tummy that stayed for a little while. Today is my first official day of mushies, but I've been having them quite comfortably for a couple of days now.

Approach with caution, but listen to your body, and your band. As I said above, I'm at the beginning of my third week and feeling heaps better now that my surgery wounds are healing and most of the gas has cleared up. In a year when I am lying on a beach in a bikini, the last 2 weeks will be TOTALLY worth it. :rolleyes:

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hi, i had my surgery on 4/15/08 and i'm having alot of the same feelings that you have described. i have broken down in tears twice now watching my family eat real meals while i sip broth. i also find myself getting angry with my husband for continuing to make a big event out of dinner (pizza last night and a cook out for the extended family tonight) but i know he doesn't mean anything. i am so sorry to hear about your loss and i hope that all of us who are experiencing this sadness will cope and come out ok in the end. my prayers are with you:smile2:

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Keep in mind that a side effect of anesthesia is depression. Most people experience a bit of emotional-ness after surgery (I still am 2 1/2 weeks out) and others are affected more profoundly with actually depression for awhile. Add to that the fact that you're craving certain foods, your body is still getting over the shock of surgery, and you're probably comsuing 1/3 of the calories that you're used to, and you're bound to be regretting this a little bit! Add your daily stresses and family/life/social circumstances and basically you're a mess. But it will get better. You will get through liquids and move on to mushies (contact me for an awesome crustless quiche recipe) and you will be craving some things you never expected to be craving, like meat, but you'll get through that to and things will be ok. We did this because we couldn't control ourselves. In the long run we'll be thankful for this new tool helping us where we couldn't help ourselves.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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