Anyone notice a difference on how you are treated once you start losing weight?

[Ddem 0]

I read this in another site and it just blew my mind!

"I had two job interviews. The first one I knew right away they weren't going to hire me. They didn't say anything; they just looked at me. The second one, the lady flat out said she wanted somebody more energetic and she didn't know that from looking at me. I knew what she was thinking and it hurt. I felt terrible. I felt hopeless. It was pitiful. I felt like I was not much of a person,"

I was wondering if anyone - after loosing weight with the band - notice a difference in how you are treated, at work, on an interview, etc? Can you share your story? Do you notice people treating you differently now and how are they treating you differently?

[mandilou 1]

While I haven't been banded yet, I have been down to 168lbs (which on me equaled a size 10). Now at around 350, it's amazing the HUGE difference in the way I'm treated. In fact, I wasn't psychologically prepared to be 168lbs. (down from about 225 at the time), and all of a sudden guys I went to high school with who wouldn't give me the time of day were suddenly REALLY interested in talking to me when I ran into them at the local bar. Strangers would sit next to you on busses, people were more friendly and likely to strike up a conversation. Interestingly, WOMEN became more closed off, assuming incorrectly that I was a bitch. Frankly, I hated it. It will be a challenge to get over as I lose weight this time around.

Thankfully, I won't be in the dating world, so I don't have to deal with people who would never have given me the time of day suddenly interested in boning me.

As an aside... when I interviewed for the job I currently have, my parents were both convinced that they wouldn't hire me because I was too fat to look appealling.

[OH Juli 15]

Oh yeah.

I'm at a size 18 or 16 which I call regular fat. I have been as large as a 32.

People treat me regular now. I tried to not let negative stuff affect me before but really, how much can you brush off? What do you say when the 4 year old yells, momma she's pregnant and the mom just wants to say, no, that's a fat lady?

I'm friendly and out going. Now fellas think I'm flirty. I'm the same, they just want to think I'm flirting with them. As if. LOL.

[libra 13]

I think I get treated more respectfully, but then it could just be that I'm more confident and people react to that confidence. Either way, I like the reaction I get from people now.

[MrsFlipFlops 2]

This has been a very interesting thread...

I've never been skinny- so I'm excited! :ohmy:

[imb316 0]

I am a smoker, I know..., lately since I lost a lot of weight I've noticed that when I go outside to smoke men who pass by often ask me for a light. This never happened when I was heavy.

[Hastings 3]

I'm a confident person and I've never really had issues with what other people say, nor have I mean mistreated by others because of my weight.

[coolcrystal 1]

OH heck yeah. I haven't lost tons of weight, but just from the little bit I've lost it has made a difference at work and at the rennaissance faire I attend. People were coming up to me flirting with me and telling me how great I look "now". At work men talk to me more and say hi when i walk by and they didn't before.... it's so weird.

[jena 0]

The couple of times before that I have lost a lot of weight, people treated me differently, but I treated me differently as well.

That's just a natural thing. Think about it..I bet even you treat fat people differently than thin people!

[Christal 0]

At work men talk to me more and say hi when i walk by and they didn't before.... it's so weird.

Ditto, I'm still not sure how to take it. One man in particular, an older man that I knew before didn't care for bigger women but sure loved to look at smaller women. He sure is friendly now. Some days I want to punch him lol! But yeah, I notice people hold the door for me more now and things like that too.

[Catalystmb 2]

There was a definite difference going from being thinner to being obese in the way I was treated by salespeople.

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/do-you-think-there-discrimination-against-obese-people-49367/

Scroll down on the above post to see my blurb about what has happened in JCP and Fortunoffs to me.

I have a mind to go back there someday with a fistfull of cash pulling a Julia Roberts/Pretty Woman scene about commission!!

[lleighton5 0]

i have NEVER been the skinny girl EVER...i was ALWAYS heavier than the rest of the girls i knew and it hurt me when i was continually treated differently...

i have always had confidence even though i am heavy it is just something my mom always taught me to have and that has gotten me through alot of uncomfortable situations BUT i have always had this dream of being skinny like my best friends and going to bars and not have girls look at me in disgust because i am big and chose to wear a tank top or have guys frequently dance with my skinny friends but never me.

I JUST CANNOT WAIT TO BE THIN!

but i dont know how i will react when the world finally sees me as the person i am on the inside...

i guess we will see!

[Lillianya 0]

This is a tough subject for me. My brain has a few conflicting viewpoints and sometimes I get lost in the internal discourse.

When I was growing up I was heavy, healthy and confident. But secretly, or sometimes not so secretly, I was often resentful of the life of the "prettypeople", how people were nicer to them and life seemed easier. I was preoccupied with how unfair it was that thin people were culturally seen as being worth more.

Gradually, I just got over it. I decided there were lots of ideas that "most people" or our culture have that I completely disagreed with, and the bizarre standards of beauty and worth I’m surrounded by aren’t standards I needed to be okay with. I made peace with my body a long time ago. Heavy or not, I wasn't going to dislike myself or change the way I acted because of it. I don't think overweight people should ever feel like they shouldn't do something because of how other people might respond. I always smile a bit on the inside when people comment that I'm dressed a certain way, or doing something that some people think should be reserved for skinny people. Yeah, fuck that. Fat people can wear bikinis, miniskirts or biker shorts and do whatever they want. I think people should live their lives independent of their size, if that makes any sense.

That all being said, I had surgery for health reasons. Now, I've been heavy for all of my life and while I was aware that in the process of losing weight, I would be getting smaller, I really had no frame of reference to think about it logically. Since my surgery almost 4 months ago, I went from a size 18 to a size 11/12. To my pre-op self, I would never believe I could be that size, but when I look at myself now, I see only a small difference. My brain still sees me as the same overweight person, and it has a hard time conceptualizing losing any more weight. I feel sort of like I've lost my perspective on size in general. I thought that at a size 12 I would be in excellent shape and weight a lot less than I do. I still have so far to go, and I can't really conceptualize myself as "thin". I strongly believe that its not necessary to look any particular way to be seen as attractive, successfully, sexy, or worthy of respect. Thin has nothing to do with those things. I'm uncomfortable with the increasing attention I receive as I shrink, both from people I know and strangers. I don't feel I deserve special treatment or more attention because I'm a smaller size, yet I'm proud of the hard work I've done to get here.

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I've gotten over my resentment for people who treat thin people better, and my self-confidence is not dependent on feedback from other people. But I've found that I am increasingly wary of unsolicited compliments and random kindness. But I’m to hold off on worrying about it until I’ve gotten used to the concept that the weight is going to stay off, and keep coming off.

[steph_co 9]

HECK, YES. Guys are checking me out and trying to chat me up. LOL I work night security and occasionally have to kick half-naked guys out of hot tubs. So I can SEE what they look like. LOL They are good looking guys. I do not act any different than I did when I was heavy, but they ask me questions now...like if I'm going to a local concert. Seriously...all I do is tell them the hot tub is closed and then stand by waiting for them to get out. They want to have conversations with me, now.

I also have noticed that some girls are colder to me. I notice that clients I deal with now seem to talk to me now like I actually know something. LOL I get approached all the time on the street, now, by people asking me for directions. I swear I am not any different in my attitude and I am not wearing anything different (other than just smaller sizes).

[OH Juli 15]

This is a tough subject for me. My brain has a few conflicting viewpoints and sometimes I get lost in the internal discourse.

When I was growing up I was heavy, healthy and confident. But secretly, or sometimes not so secretly, I was often resentful of the life of the "prettypeople", how people were nicer to them and life seemed easier. I was preoccupied with how unfair it was that thin people were culturally seen as being worth more.

Gradually, I just got over it. I decided there were lots of ideas that "most people" or our culture have that I completely disagreed with, and the bizarre standards of beauty and worth I’m surrounded by aren’t standards I needed to be okay with. I made peace with my body a long time ago. Heavy or not, I wasn't going to dislike myself or change the way I acted because of it. I don't think overweight people should ever feel like they shouldn't do something because of how other people might respond. I always smile a bit on the inside when people comment that I'm dressed a certain way, or doing something that some people think should be reserved for skinny people. Yeah, fuck that. Fat people can wear bikinis, miniskirts or biker shorts and do whatever they want. I think people should live their lives independent of their size, if that makes any sense.

That all being said, I had surgery for health reasons. Now, I've been heavy for all of my life and while I was aware that in the process of losing weight, I would be getting smaller, I really had no frame of reference to think about it logically. Since my surgery almost 4 months ago, I went from a size 18 to a size 11/12. To my pre-op self, I would never believe I could be that size, but when I look at myself now, I see only a small difference. My brain still sees me as the same overweight person, and it has a hard time conceptualizing losing any more weight. I feel sort of like I've lost my perspective on size in general. I thought that at a size 12 I would be in excellent shape and weight a lot less than I do. I still have so far to go, and I can't really conceptualize myself as "thin". I strongly believe that its not necessary to look any particular way to be seen as attractive, successfully, sexy, or worthy of respect. Thin has nothing to do with those things. I'm uncomfortable with the increasing attention I receive as I shrink, both from people I know and strangers. I don't feel I deserve special treatment or more attention because I'm a smaller size, yet I'm proud of the hard work I've done to get here.

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I've gotten over my resentment for people who treat thin people better, and my self-confidence is not dependent on feedback from other people. But I've found that I am increasingly wary of unsolicited compliments and random kindness. But I’m to hold off on worrying about it until I’ve gotten used to the concept that the weight is going to stay off, and keep coming off.

I know where you are coming from on many of your points. I saw the lack of fairness, I got over it. I did many things that "fat people don't normally do." Or as a co-worker says, "You didn't let it hold you back."

I'm now also wary of unsolicited compliments and random kindnesses in regard to my weight. When I'm not feeling so generous I want to say, "When I was fat, I was more than my weight, now that I am not as big, I'm still more than my weight." Find something else to talk to me about. But mostly I just nod and smile. When people ask how much, often if they are the ones who only engage me in weight loss conversations, I say, it's just a number and I don't share it. But if you are a friend, and chat me up about my life in general, I'll tell you. Weird, I wonder what kind of power dynamic I'm playing there...

You post was thought provoking and cool. Thanks for sharing it.