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how does the band impact social life?



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I feel that most of my social life is based around meals, going out to dinner with friends, Bars etc. did anyone find that the band killed their relationships with friends and such? What about family holidays? I am being banded on 4/7 and wonder how I will feel for Passover which starts on the 18th and involves lots of food.... though matzaball Soup probably works.

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Hasn't bothered mine one bit. I still go to restaurants, I just order a small meal or sometimes just a drink. Not eating just means I can talk more. I still go to bars and get drinks, but I did give up carbonation when I had my surgery - no biggie, I never ordered a carbonated drink anyway.

Family holidays still happen just as they always did, I'm just eating a lot less. There's no reason that a smaller portion would make the holiday any less special with your family/friends.

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Going out to dinner isn't as exciting to me anymore, since I can't eat much. :) But we still go from time to time. If you are going to bars often, you probably don't want to be drinking alcohol every time -- that stuff really packs in the calories. You can always sip a low-cal beverage or just plan your eating for the day to accomodate the calories of a drink. If you go dancing, that burns a good number of calories.

Crystal Light To-Go packets are nice for flavoring Water when you're out & about.

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I feel that most of my social life is based around meals, going out to dinner with friends, Bars etc. did anyone find that the band killed their relationships with friends and such? What about family holidays? I am being banded on 4/7 and wonder how I will feel for Passover which starts on the 18th and involves lots of food.... though matzaball Soup probably works.

It is funny but it is the American way. We only know how to socialize with people as llong as it has to do with food or drink.

For me, I would love to be able to go out more for dinner. I am just tired of hearing the crap................ IT IS A WASTE OF MONEY FOR YOU TO GO OUT AND EAT. You see, he forgets I can bring home the doggie bag. I will not eat the appetizers as I do not eat fried foods anymore. I do't even drink alcohol anymore and he will not order because I don't have one.

To tell you the truth it bothers other people and it doesn't bother me at all. This is the life I chose for myself and no one else. I don't expect anyone else to change because of me. If they are uncomfortable then it is their problem.

Josephine

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Hasn't had any impact on me - except I talk about my banding non-stop which is probably going to get a bit annoying after a while. And when I lose more weight I'm sure I'll try to get everyone to touch my port "bump"...but other than that, no difference. :teeth_smile:

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I went out to dinner with my family the other night and I just brought my shake with me. I drank tea w/splenda and had my shake. I just enjoyed being with them. I used to eat out 10-14 times a week. I am amazed at how I have had no real desire to eat out at all. :-)

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I'm a closet bandster...only a select few people know so that makes it a little more stressful to go out, but it doesn't stop me by any means. Nobody seems to notice, really, it's mostly in my head! I do have to be very careful about socializing and paying close attention to how/what I'm eating...I tend to PB in restaurants for some reason, and I hate doing that. Still....I would never trade my band for anything. It's all worth it.

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It affects your social life only as much as you let it. I recently had a fill and I followed my dr's instructions of a liquid diet for 24hrs after. My friends all went out for drinks & nachos after work. I still went with them, but drank Water the whole time. It was better for me, physically and financially. (even though I could have killed for a margarita after my night at work..haha)

My friends were happy I was there, and applauded my willpower and my decision. It was actually very empowering.

The first few weeks were hard, because I DO like to be out and about and that inevitably crosses mealtime at some point. Once I stopped letting what I COULDN'T do or couldn't eat affect me, I started focusing on what was so wonderful about the whole thing.:thumbup:

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My band hasn't affected my social life at all. I still go out for dinner with family and friends. I eat much less, but the upside is that I have great leftovers to take home for lunches. I go to the bar occasionally and order a drink without carbonation. Having a band only affects you negatively if you let it.

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The band has improved my social life and my experience at restaurants, I am now able to focus more attention on the company instead of the food, and I am not embarrassed by the fact that I enhaled a huge dinner faster than a quarterback could. Also, I can now fit in any size booth without a tummy roll hitting the table.

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I went on a cruise a couple of weeks ago and was a bit worried about the food. I relaxed a lot and found there were lots of things I could eat and I just stopped when I was full. I don't really have any problem foods because I avoid most breads and rice and stuff. I just ate the Protein and a little of the veg on my plate. The dining room even offered a sugar-free dessert every night, which I did order and enjoy. Of course, by the time dessert rolled around I was pretty full, so I only took a few bites, but it was enough.

Since you have the same waiter every night on a cruise, ours started to notice I wasn't eating much of my meals. He asked me a few times if I didn't like my food. I just said I was full. He caught on eventually. Then one night he actually asked why I always ordered the sugar free dessert. He wanted to know if I was diabetic! I laughed it off and just said sugar isn't good for me.

Anyway, I actually LOST a pound on that cruise, which has to be a first on any cruise anywhere!

I think eating out is totally doable and shouldn't cause you any anxiety. Just eat your Protein first, stop when you're full, and don't sweat it!

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That's great to hear from all of you because I've been worried a lot about going out to dinners with my husband and friends. Does everyone always comment on the amount of food your eating or is there any way to make it look like you're eating more than you really are to keep them quiet.

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One great thing about being banded is I've sure have saved a great deal of money!!! When we do go out, I may have a bit of Soup, or order from the kiddies menu!! I'm a CHEAP DATE!!! ;o)

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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