Post Weight Loss

jtorie · March 12, 2008

I'd like to pose a question to the post weight loss banders:

Once you've lost a great amount of weight (to where its very noticeable), do you notice how people treat you differently? How you feel in public? How you feel with your husband/wife (sorry if this is too personal) or how you feel dating? At work? with Family? friends?

I am getting banded on March 18, 2008. and was just wondering.

Also I watch a lady on some talk show that had GB, and after a TT (tummy tuck) and LBL (lower body lift) she looked great. But was Angry at men and other people for treating her better now that she was smaller. She didn't date or socialize much because she felt betrayed.

Thanks everyone! This board is great, everyone is very supportive!:smile:

Chickie · March 12, 2008

Once you've lost a great amount of weight (to where its very noticeable), do you notice how people treat you differently? How you feel in public? How you feel with your husband/wife (sorry if this is too personal) or how you feel dating? At work? with Family? friends?

People do treat me differently. I think it could be because I treat them differently. I am self confident, happy and outgoing now. I am a lot nicer to be around than when I was 3 or 4 years ago.

My relationship with my DH hasn't really changed. We always had a good thing going, and me losing weight hasn't changed it really. My husband was behind me 110%, so I think that has helped.

At work I am the same as I ever was. Bossy, mean and foul mouthed (I am a photographer, LMAO) With family things are just the same, I am just smaller than the lot of them.

Friends. That is a different story. I found out who my real friends are. Some fell by the wayside when the old green eyed monster came out, and others were behind me and were my biggest cheerleaders. It's not a bad thing. I am happier with my circle of friends now.

Also I watch a lady on some talk show that had GB, and after a TT (tummy tuck) and LBL (lower body lift) she looked great. But was Angry at men and other people for treating her better now that she was smaller. She didn't date or socialize much because she felt betrayed.

Eh. My life is to busy, full and happy to be angry at people who hurt me a lifetime ago. It's not worth holding onto.

I hope that helped.

H&H,

Sam.

Jachut · March 12, 2008

I dont find I'm treated very differently, obviously there's more blatant male attention at times, I do get gawked at in shopping centres and particularly, honked, whistled at and tooted whilst I'm running. But then again, I'm also a uni student, at the ripe old age of 40 and hanging around with tons of gorgeous young things who never knew me fat, so that brings me down to earth, I'm more like someone's nanna in that crowd!

My friends are my friends, that hasnt changed, I still have the same joys and problems in life that I always did.

My DH has been somewhat inspired, he's getting banded himself. I'm not sure how he truly feels, he keeps making jokes when folding clean laundry about whether those are my undies he's folding or Eliza's (she's 5!) and he really appreciates the new me, lol, but he also resents my running a bit I think. He has his hobbies, fishing and golf, but we had a spat tonight because I took off after dinner for a run and he made some snide remark about how it was nice for some. Apparently, he wanted to walk but then he started the martyred "dont worry, you just go, dont worry about me". Grrrr. As if he was EVER going out for a walk, he's lazy as and he will make the excuse every time. I figure the dishes can be done at 9.30 but my run cant, so the run comes first, he takes it as an opportunity to do said dishes and then be bitchy about it. Not exactly sure what's going on there, but its been a bit of a thing all along. And he also has accused me of being too into the running so I wont be there to support his getting fit when he gets banded, yet where the fark was he when I was labouring along the footpath with my lungs on fire at 100kg? I did that on my own, without any help, but apparently, its solely down to me whether he's successful in running himself!

Argh! Obviously there's iss-ewes, but not serious ones, just daily bickering stuff. He's 100% behind my self improvement plan. He's also vain enough to like the fact that I look better than most of his work colleagues wives, lol.

There's regular little thrills - like this weekend I discovered I can still swing myself up onto the monkey bars like I could at 8. I can hold on one side, swing a bit, bend in the middle and hook a leg over the opposite bar, pull my knees through and sit on top. I can also turn over upside down and do the cradle, roflmao! And I can cross the bars hanging by 2's and 3's!!

But overall, my life is just the same, just that I'm now thin and can buy good clothes.

Cindi · March 12, 2008

Once you've lost a great amount of weight (to where its very noticeable), do you notice how people treat you differently?

Absolutely. Perceived or real? Questionable. They are nicer...I'm not ignored because of my weight...or overtly paid attention to in an effort to make me "non-invisible".

How you feel in public?

Stange answer, but I feel "normal". Like I've got nothing to draw attention to me, like gads of extra weight.

How you feel with your husband?

Wonderful, as always. And sexier. More body conscious.

At work?

My employees are constantly making comments. Sometimes embarrassing ones, all in fun of course. They don't know I've been banded, but they see me in my lycra workout clothes with sweaty hair daily.

Family? Supportive, compliment- filled.

friends? Supportive, compliment- filled.

I am getting banded on March 18, 2008. and was just wondering.

Great! Look forward to your success!

Also I watch a lady on some talk show that had GB, and after a TT (tummy tuck) and LBL (lower body lift) she looked great. But was Angry at men and other people for treating her better now that she was smaller. She didn't date or socialize much because she felt betrayed.

Sour grapes...move on. We live in a visually motivated world. Overweight people can give off bad vibes, anger, self doubt, no confidence. No wonder the world doesn't always know how to respond. After we lose weight, we don't give them something to feel uncomfortable about...we're 'normal'!

My DH has been somewhat inspired, he's getting banded himself.

Jachut, that is great! What a leg up he has, and what a great motivator you'll be!

I'm not sure how he truly feels, he keeps making jokes when folding clean laundry about whether those are my undies he's folding or Eliza's (she's 5!) and he really appreciates the new me, lol, but he also resents my running a bit I think. He has his hobbies, fishing and golf, but we had a spat tonight because I took off after dinner for a run and he made some snide remark about how it was nice for some. Apparently, he wanted to walk but then he started the martyred "dont worry, you just go, dont worry about me". Grrrr. As if he was EVER going out for a walk, he's lazy as and he will make the excuse every time. I figure the dishes can be done at 9.30 but my run cant, so the run comes first, he takes it as an opportunity to do said dishes and then be bitchy about it. Not exactly sure what's going on there, but its been a bit of a thing all along. And he also has accused me of being too into the running so I wont be there to support his getting fit when he gets banded, yet where the fark was he when I was labouring along the footpath with my lungs on fire at 100kg? I did that on my own, without any help, but apparently, its solely down to me whether he's successful in running himself!

Do you think success comparison will be an issue? Sounds like it...resentment is already rearing it's head, isn't it? He'll have his own unique journey, and I'll bet he will "smartly" find his own way. I know you'll be supportive, but he's gotta be strong.

I leave the house every morning to head to the club to work out, and am late to work everyday (sometimes don't get in til 10:30am). But hubby understands, and just asks how my workout went...cardio or strength day? Ha! I sooooo wish I could get him to come work out with me. He would feel so much better, and would garner so many benefits.

But overall, my life is just the same, just that I'm now thin and can buy good clothes.

I buy very few new things yet. Still have considerable to lose...btu shopping, when I do, is scads more fun:tt2:

Mavenstock · March 14, 2008

People in our society notice weight gain and weight loss. While some of us may find it offensive that we personally get noticed for either gaining or losing, social interaction is likely to be the result of weight loss even if we resent people who never sought us out before the lap band or other assistance in weight loss. The process is going to be slow but people will first notice your face getting thinner because you are consuming(hopefully) less sugar--no soda, juices, etc.--more Water and sugar free Crystal Light lemonade. You will be having broth which is high in sodium and Boost which is just high in calories to get you your Protein intake--I guarantee you that you will be wondering in six weeks if the band is working because you are able to eat so much--this means it is time to ask the doctor for a fill(2cc) each month for the next five or six and then, the weight will start to drop along with exercise. Since we are nearly in spring, this is a great time to get out and walk and keep walking all spring and summer. After six months of good behaviour , I would be shocked to hear you are not a happier person with more attention than you have dreamed about since you were a kid. Good luck

Jachut · March 14, 2008

One thing I have noticed, and this is perhaps why you get treated differently when you're thinner, but at a normal weight, bmi of 23, I'm easily far and away the thinnest person in a lot of situations. Easily. People are so darn fat these days that even what we call "normal" is really very chunky.

I dont mean that to sound judgemental or nasty or anything, just our society is getting larger, and that to be a truly normal weight and healthy BMI does indeed often make you stand out. It does make you the object of admiration and/or envy, and it makes people assume you're one of those freaking annoying bitches who stays thin without having to do anything, so often I find I get treated accordingly too. I also find I dont complain about my mummy tummy or muffin top to people becuase really, they're tiny and other people get their backs up assuming you're fishing for compliments or are terribly insensitive becuase you cant know what its like to be carrying round a huge gut.

Its really rather weird in some ways.

sizzlingseven · March 23, 2008

I think this is a great topic....

I'm newly single, and have a crush on a super-hot guy, but we are just buddies and I don't want anything more than that right now because (a) I wouldn't want to show him my body right now anyways, and (:wub: if he rejected me, I would blame the weight, and fear losing the friendship.

So, I say to my girlfriend, "just wait til I hit my goal, then things are going to change!" and she says "why would you want to be with someone that didn't want to be physical with you when you were big, but only when you're fit?" My response is "well, I wouldn't want to sleep with me either!" I'll make my move when I'm fit (unless he actually does make a move first!) and then if I get rejected, I'll know that its just because he isn't into me, and not because "you're a really nice girl, but...." the age-old story I've heard since high school...

For me personally, I don't have a problem with the fact that men treat women differently based on their body shape. Call me a hypocrite, but even though I am "pleasantly plump" I am not attracted to beer-bellied boys. I'll take a six-pack any day. We women do it too. We live in a very visual society, and people associate strength and admiration and control with the young, tanned, well-dressed man or woman standing on the corner. That's life.

My two cents..... :frown: