Is it selfish?

[general_antiope 189]

My ex husband almost died in front of me from Septic Shock. He had an abscess, he thought it was just a pimple...three days later he fainted in the airport as we went home. We risked the flight home, took him straight to the hospital, they said another hour and he would have lost parts of his anatomy down there. He was very advanced and sickly all around his bloodstream. It was a vicious surgery to correct it and took months of healing. Septic shock is fast and furious and can be caused by the most innocuous things.

Also I really hope I don't sound insensitive here...I'm going to say this because I know some really sick people who would find it funny to put a site like ours in an uproar by "planting" this kind of urban legend to scare, confuse and demoralize people. I sincerely hope this isn't the case. Just crossed my mind, is all.

Spiritually, I believe we choose long before we get here what challenges we face, and we write into our blueprint when/where and how we go. We plan a couple of exit ramps for ourselves and take one when we're done learning. I realize this is kind of a weird thing to believe, but hopefully it at least explains why I am not as freaked out as some of you other sweethearts :/

But....Sometimes people do know when it's their time.

When it was time for me to be banded, I was terrified and didn't sleep all night. I had been convinced, you see, from age 14 that I would die before I was 30. Inexplicable fear. at 28/29 when I was banded, I really thought I was taking my life in my hands, that I knew my own death before it happened.

I decided I would rather risk death on an operating table than continue to live as miserable as I was. I hated my life. I did it and just left it up to whoever controlled these sorts of events. Complete surrender.

Aphrodite - only you will know what the right choice for you is. For me, the risk was worth the reward. I thank God every - single - solitary day for my life. My happy life.

OK final note...when I researched the band, I marched into Dr. Ren's office and asked her how many people died from this surgery or complications of this surgery. Under 1%. How many people died from bypass surgery? A lot more than 1%. Hundreds of people more.

It is a risk we take.

[sunshinelady 0]

Hi all,

I heard about this incident yesterday and I too didn't write anything because I was horrified at the "what if" question. But, I also had a fleeting thought just like Kate Eryn that "Also I really hope I don't sound insensitive here...I'm going to say this because I know some really sick people who would find it funny to put a site like ours in an uproar by "planting" this kind of urban legend to scare, confuse and demoralize people. I sincerely hope this isn't the case. Just crossed my mind, is all."

My thought on this whole issue is this.....Because I subscribe to a Higher Authority, I believe that when it is our time to go, it's just our time to go. He has a plan for all of us and that when we have accomplished what we needed to do, we are done. My surgery is on May 27th and because I have faith in Him I approach this date with no fear and am at peace in knowing that my life/outcome is in His hands. I have prayed so many times about this surgery and have asked God that if this is not His will then Lord please tell me so. Until He sends me a sign or make it so that it is impossible for me to have this surgery, I am going forward and will not give it a second thought.

My heart goes out to this family in their time of bereavement and I will continue to pray for them and asked God to give them the comfort and answers they need to heal from this. For those who are questioning their decision to have this surgery, please think about what your life will be like if you don't, think about your families' life if they don't have you taking care of yourself. You MUST take care of yourself in order to continue to take care of the people that you love; they need you to be healthy and most importantly happy. So, please let go of all those doubts and feelings that are giving you second thoughts about going forward.

Thanks for letting me put my 2 cents in.

Edited May 21, 2008 by sunshinelady

[lifechange82 0]

Well ya cant live your life in constant fear of what if. People die every day from car accidents and we still get in the car and drive or ride with someone. I am in agreement that when it is your time to go, it doesnt matter what you are doing whether it is walking across the street, or having surgery. If you feel the WLS is right for you, and you think it will PROLONG your life, however long any of us have, then I say do it. But either way, it's a great loss.

[strikeuptheband 16]

I have thought of weight loss surgery for several years. I was hesitant to put myself first because this is a huge investment. Well, now my youngest is half way through college and I decided its finally my turn. So I am being banded on June 2nd. I still struggle with thinking its OK for me to spend so much money on me when my kids still need my help. I know I will be healthier afterwards, but I stll feel guilty spending this much money. I am self pay because my employer won't put WLS in our insurance plan. Guilty...but I am gonna do it anyway!

[Aphrodite1984 2]

I think you are all right. I am definitely going through with this. I also had the "what if this is a hoax?" thought, but I am going to give the benefit of the doubt that this is true. Thanks all for your reassurance.

[1000words 0]

I want to squash any thoughts of this being an urban legend... I did a search and found this CapeCodOnline.com

[Aphrodite1984 2]

Well that settles it. thanks.

[AprilE 0]

She sincerely thought that what she was doing was for the best for her family and herself. She died and that is a horrible tragedy, but it could have been ANY of us. We can't allow uncertainty to pave our paths for us. We all know that our health is at risk the sizes that we are, choosing to lose weight by any means necessary is the most pro-active step that we can take. I pray that her family might somehow piece together the events and know that she is one of the bravest people I have ever known. She will be deeply missed and I think about her every time I log onto the site.