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Is it selfish?



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To have 4 small children, and go through the banding surgery? WHAT IF something bad should happen? (death) The person is question has no comorbidities, and is able to excercise just fine.

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My kids are one of the reasons I did this. Remaining overweight, in my opinion, is a bigger risk than the surgery was. I want to be able to be acive with my kids. I want to be here to see them frow up and I want to someday have grandchildren. I want their mom to be healthy both physically and emotionally. This is what my band is helping me do.

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I struggled with this question too. I have three very small children and am the main breadwinner in my home (I am married but...). I had no comorbidities and could exercise just fine....the problem, I didn't. And hadn't for years. I am sure you know what I am talking about. The main reason I decided on the surgery was because I had proven to myself time and time again that I could not do this on my own and I needed a tool to help me succeed so that I could be an even better mom to my kids down the road. The band does just that, it fit into my crazy lifestyle and has helped me succeed so far, hell I even found a way to fit exercising into my schedule, I never thought that would happen!

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I don't think it's selfish at all - even if you don't have complications now - in your thirties - or even forties - there are so many other things than can go wrong as you get older. For myself, my mother and grandmother are both overweight/obese and I have seen them struggle their whole adult life with different things ranging from NO energy to bad knees to more serious medical condidtions. I did not want to be like that. I do not want to live the rest of my life on a handful of pills. For me, the turning point was this past summer when I tried to ride bikes with my son -- I got out on the bike path and LITERALLY thought I was going to have to call my husband to pick me up. I don't want to be that person. I don't want my son to see that person.

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I have two children and let me just say...it is so much easier and so much more fun now to play with them. I'm down 87 pounds and I run around with them, go outside, jog, ride bikes, you name it. In fact...they can't keep up with me now. They start complaining that their legs hurt when we go walking. They are 7 and 4 and very skinny (in fact, it's difficult to find clothes to fit them). Anyway...my only regret about the band is that I didn't get it sooner. I had gestational diabetes with my first pregnancy and they told me that if I didn't lose weight I would get it later in life. I was also on an anti-inflamatory for very sore feet. They would get so bad that I could barely walk to the bathroom in the morning. My doctor said that it was because of my weight. Well guess what...no problems anymore. In fact, I now RUN on my treadmill...that's right...I run, not walk and in October I am participating in the 3 day breast cancer walk (60 miles). So...go for it!!!

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i have to agree with renwedhope,you are at far bigger risk with putting on weight of dieing,it is scary the thought of any operation[and there are risks with all operations].maybe you could look at it that your being selfish to your children by not being fit and healthy,show your kids/teach about healthy eating and exercise,or they might find they have to go thru what your going thru now.:crying:

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I have 5 kids, and this is WHY I had the surgery. I was trying to coach soccer and keep up with these kids nearly 100 lbs overweight. I'd like to be able to do that while they're still young, AND be around to watch them get old!

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thanks for your input ladies! I am having it done March 31st.

I am so used to putting others needs ahead of my own.

I still feel that if I die during surgery, that it will have been a very selfish thing for me to have done. But, I suppose I wont be around to feel guilty :crying:

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I'll chime in here as well...

not selfish at all. it is a lower risk surgery and your kids will reap the benefits. imagine getting up and down (with ease) off the floor, running and playing with them for hours.. not being the mom who can't do X cause she's too big... thats part of why I did it. and to be around for longer... at 402.5 lbs I probably wouldnt have been around to even see her graduate from high school.

congrats on a date!

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thanks for your input ladies! I am having it done March 31st.

I am so used to putting others needs ahead of my own.

I still feel that if I die during surgery, that it will have been a very selfish thing for me to have done. But, I suppose I wont be around to feel guilty :thumbup:

well done on your big decission on setting a date to be banded,just for the record[i asked my sergeon if he had ever had anyone die on him from this op and he said no,that was before i was banded]i think we all worry and stress to a degree about what could go wrong and how it affects our loved ones,i also have 3 boys,so i do understand your concerns,but honestly,you will wake up and recover and then you wont look back and you'l wonder why you got your self so worked up,i couldnt sleep in hospital[went in the night before op]cause i was stressing the worst,it didnt do me any good wondering if i was doing the right thing or not,i knew in my heart i had to,for the same reasons every one has says,my own health,been around when your kids have kids,being able to get involved with your children more without feeling like passing out,i know this was the last chance for me,i lost weight meany times,but like everyone else,i put it back on.i hope you have someone there for you to support and lean on when you have your op.

gail

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I dont think it is a selfish thing to do.My son is 12 and he has had a mom that was too tired to do anything! I would love to go bike riding,swimming and do fun things he wanted to-but my weight was always stopping me! I had no energy,and he was missing out. I had my band done 1st March,and in the process of pre-op diet and after band,I am nearly 2 stones lighter and already I have get up and go! I just want to be more and more active now. I think it is a personal decision,and will be the best one you can make! Good luck.

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That was one of my biggest fears... and i thank you for posting it and for everyone that replied to you... see the same thing u are thinking about others like myself are going thru as well... thanks...

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I have 7 kids and I cant wait to have this surgery! if i dont i will not make it to 40! I am scared to death I will die before my surgery! It is not selfish! Sometimes life gets so busy being a parent and such that we forget about ourselves!

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I have 5 (1 bilogical, 1 adopted, and 3 foster children). they are 9, 4, 2, 1, and 6 months. I was banded almost 6 months ago. I can run and play, and have enough energy to keep up with them. I am having soooo much fun being a mom now. Lapband was the best choice for my family, me, and all of my kiddos. I love life again, which allows me to love all of them better!!

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