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To Tell or Not to Tell???



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I usually tell everyone everything about what is going on with me. But the last time I lost a huge amount of weight, I had problems with buttinskies at work who would watch everything I ate and question if I was "allowed" to eat it, and try to monitor my eating, my weight and my exercising. Um, I didn't like that. :biggrin:

I think if you invite everyone into your life, then it's a lot harder to say "none of your business" when they get farther in than you intended. So this time, I think I won't invite them in.

I'm sure I'll end up telling a lot of people, plus when I make phone calls at work, everyone can hear, so eventually everyone will know. But if I don't run around discussing it with everyone all the time, but let people know gradually and quietly, I think it will work out better for everyone involved.

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Hello,

I was banded Jan 3rd and at first I did not want to tell anyone. My boyfriend went with me to the senimar and that helped so much. He now "gets it". I knew my mom would be supportive, and she was. We had a heart to heart, and she understood the emotional side of it all. What I ended up doing was writing a e-mail to the rest of the family "three brothers and families". I explained the band, surgery and pretty much told them that I WAS going to do this. I told them of all the researching I had done,gave them the web site to my Dr which had a video for them to watch. They have watched me struggle with my weight all my life, going up and down.. always gaining it back. I got wonderful support from each and every person.That being said, only you know your family. If you decide not to tell, that is great. You have your husband for support. One thing I will say, is this is not a easy way out. I have worked harder on this band than I have on any other diet. Mostly because I am self pay and I WANT THIS TO BE MY LAST WEIGHT LOSS.

Do it for yourself and your health.

Lois

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Hi,

The only person that knows right now is my sister. She is staying with me for the first week. I was banded yesterday. I brought this conversation up with my friend and he seemed to be negative to the idea so I changed the subject. I probably will tell my parents, probably when I see them next. They live out of state, so won't be seeing them for bit. Not sure how they will take it, but due to some of my medical history this is the right choice for me. I'm thankful my sister lives close to take care of me during the beginning of my new journey.

Mke

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I tell everyone I meet! Everywhere! In WalMart... at work... the hairdresser... you name it... lol I just cannot contain my enthusiasm and excitement. I have already encouraged over a dozen people to visit my doctor (only after they ask of course).

Also, my reason for not keeping it a secret was because it is normal for people to "talk" if someone loses a lot of weight (especially at my job). I did not want them whispering stuff like: is she on drugs? is she sick? does she have cancer? etc.

I preferred to have them KNOW why I was losing weight, and be encouraging and supportive of my efforts... and they have been :D

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I'm not telling anyone, only my husband and daughter know. I had a coworker who was banded, she told everyone, shows them the port, the incision scars, etc. I'm just not that bold. plus after hearing all the negativity regarding her procedure, there is no way i would tell.

this is my decision, for my life, i am somewhat a private person, so i dont want people to know. 15 years ago i worked out, got into bodybuilding and looked great, i was so proud of myself, it was the best i looked in all my life, but then i slipped, and i hated myself for not keeping it up. now for the past 8 years i have been obese, i cant stand to look in the mirror, i'm close to 40 and all my relatives have several health conditions that i am hoping to avoid. i want to be able to breath when i lay down, i don't want to be winded when i walk from my room to the kitchen.

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Do what you feel comfortable with, it's okay to tell people, the down side is it can stress you cause sometimes they ask to many question. I told alot of people I was so excited, one of the reasons is for me I knew it would help me stay on track because I knew they would be watching my success. By seeing my sucess I now have 3 people who have had it because I inspired them to do something about their weight. Your always going to have someone who questions your decision, that's okay everyone has a right to their own thoughts. But this is a decision that can improve your health and quality of life. I would encourage anyone to consider the lapband, it's changed my life or rather it gave me my life back.

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Hi, I'm struggling with this same decision. I told my closest friend that I'm having it, (she had gastric bypass several years ago) and my mother, who after asking not to, told my brother. My brother totally freaked out and started yelling and screaming at me. He said I was stupid, that it was unhealthy, and that I was going to die. GOOD GRIEF! He's so dramatic! My father knows, as he had lap band 1 1 /2 years ago, and has lost 140 lbs. These are the ONLY people I will tell. OH, of course my husband knows who is extremely the most supportive, important person in my life. These are the ONLY few people that I will tell. I feel like it's not of anyone's business. I too worry about people noticing if I'm out to eat with them, etc... or seeing me eat pretty much nothing. I feel like they will think I took the easy way out. None of them know how hard I struggle to just drop a couple lbs dieting. It was great to read how others feel about this. I don't want the rest of my family knowing, as most are thin and healthy, and I feel they will be too judgemental.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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