Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

To Tell or Not to Tell???



Recommended Posts

I usually tell everyone everything about what is going on with me. But the last time I lost a huge amount of weight, I had problems with buttinskies at work who would watch everything I ate and question if I was "allowed" to eat it, and try to monitor my eating, my weight and my exercising. Um, I didn't like that. :biggrin:

I think if you invite everyone into your life, then it's a lot harder to say "none of your business" when they get farther in than you intended. So this time, I think I won't invite them in.

I'm sure I'll end up telling a lot of people, plus when I make phone calls at work, everyone can hear, so eventually everyone will know. But if I don't run around discussing it with everyone all the time, but let people know gradually and quietly, I think it will work out better for everyone involved.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello,

I was banded Jan 3rd and at first I did not want to tell anyone. My boyfriend went with me to the senimar and that helped so much. He now "gets it". I knew my mom would be supportive, and she was. We had a heart to heart, and she understood the emotional side of it all. What I ended up doing was writing a e-mail to the rest of the family "three brothers and families". I explained the band, surgery and pretty much told them that I WAS going to do this. I told them of all the researching I had done,gave them the web site to my Dr which had a video for them to watch. They have watched me struggle with my weight all my life, going up and down.. always gaining it back. I got wonderful support from each and every person.That being said, only you know your family. If you decide not to tell, that is great. You have your husband for support. One thing I will say, is this is not a easy way out. I have worked harder on this band than I have on any other diet. Mostly because I am self pay and I WANT THIS TO BE MY LAST WEIGHT LOSS.

Do it for yourself and your health.

Lois

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi,

The only person that knows right now is my sister. She is staying with me for the first week. I was banded yesterday. I brought this conversation up with my friend and he seemed to be negative to the idea so I changed the subject. I probably will tell my parents, probably when I see them next. They live out of state, so won't be seeing them for bit. Not sure how they will take it, but due to some of my medical history this is the right choice for me. I'm thankful my sister lives close to take care of me during the beginning of my new journey.

Mke

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tell everyone I meet! Everywhere! In WalMart... at work... the hairdresser... you name it... lol I just cannot contain my enthusiasm and excitement. I have already encouraged over a dozen people to visit my doctor (only after they ask of course).

Also, my reason for not keeping it a secret was because it is normal for people to "talk" if someone loses a lot of weight (especially at my job). I did not want them whispering stuff like: is she on drugs? is she sick? does she have cancer? etc.

I preferred to have them KNOW why I was losing weight, and be encouraging and supportive of my efforts... and they have been :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not telling anyone, only my husband and daughter know. I had a coworker who was banded, she told everyone, shows them the port, the incision scars, etc. I'm just not that bold. plus after hearing all the negativity regarding her procedure, there is no way i would tell.

this is my decision, for my life, i am somewhat a private person, so i dont want people to know. 15 years ago i worked out, got into bodybuilding and looked great, i was so proud of myself, it was the best i looked in all my life, but then i slipped, and i hated myself for not keeping it up. now for the past 8 years i have been obese, i cant stand to look in the mirror, i'm close to 40 and all my relatives have several health conditions that i am hoping to avoid. i want to be able to breath when i lay down, i don't want to be winded when i walk from my room to the kitchen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do what you feel comfortable with, it's okay to tell people, the down side is it can stress you cause sometimes they ask to many question. I told alot of people I was so excited, one of the reasons is for me I knew it would help me stay on track because I knew they would be watching my success. By seeing my sucess I now have 3 people who have had it because I inspired them to do something about their weight. Your always going to have someone who questions your decision, that's okay everyone has a right to their own thoughts. But this is a decision that can improve your health and quality of life. I would encourage anyone to consider the lapband, it's changed my life or rather it gave me my life back.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, I'm struggling with this same decision. I told my closest friend that I'm having it, (she had gastric bypass several years ago) and my mother, who after asking not to, told my brother. My brother totally freaked out and started yelling and screaming at me. He said I was stupid, that it was unhealthy, and that I was going to die. GOOD GRIEF! He's so dramatic! My father knows, as he had lap band 1 1 /2 years ago, and has lost 140 lbs. These are the ONLY people I will tell. OH, of course my husband knows who is extremely the most supportive, important person in my life. These are the ONLY few people that I will tell. I feel like it's not of anyone's business. I too worry about people noticing if I'm out to eat with them, etc... or seeing me eat pretty much nothing. I feel like they will think I took the easy way out. None of them know how hard I struggle to just drop a couple lbs dieting. It was great to read how others feel about this. I don't want the rest of my family knowing, as most are thin and healthy, and I feel they will be too judgemental.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      Just for fun last week, I ran two 5Ks in two days, something I would have never done in the past! Next goal is a 10K before the end of this month.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Teriesa

      Hi everyone, I wrote back in May about having no strength. I still get totally exhausted just walking from room to room, it’s so bad I’m using a walker with wheels of all things. I had the gastric sleeve Jan. 24th. I’m doing exactly what the programs says, except protein shakes. I have different meats and protein bars daily, including vitamins daily. I do drink my fluids as well.  I go in for IV hydration 4 days a week and feel ok just til evening.  So far as of Jan 1st I’ve dropped 76 lbs. I just want to enjoy the weight lose. Any suggestions or has anyone else gone thru this??  Doctor says just increase calorie intake, still the same. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Stone Art By SKL

      Decorative Wall Cladding & Panels | Stone Art By SKL
      Elevate your space with Stone Art By SKL's decorative wall claddings & panels. Explore premium designs for timeless elegance.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Losing my hair in clumps and still dealing with "stomach" issues from gallbladder removal surgery. On the positive side I'm doing better about meeting protein and water goals and taking my vitamins, so yay? 🤷‍♀️
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×