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My body, my band, my BETRAYAL



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I wish I could say I'm doing as well as the rest of you...but I'm not. I'm upset & frustrated and beginning to realize my greatest fear: This band is NOT going to work for me! I just know it. I had the feeling before i ever got banded that i would be the ONE person who gets the band and FAILS MISERABLY. That's me.

I only lost 13 lbs. post-op. I was banded on 01/04. I'm following the rules, sticking to each and every order...and I'm GAINING WEIGHT. I work out, I get in all my fluids...I'M SO INCREDIBLY UPSET.

Now I've gained 4 pounds so I've only really lost 9. My Nutritionist said she did NOT want to see me gain weight before my first fill...which I won't have until 2/18. At this rate, everything will be packed back on before that day and I'll be frowned at. How is it possible for me to be gaining weight?!?! Pre-surgery I would take in an average of 3,500 calories per day, and now I'm down around 1,200. WTF?!?! How can I not lose weight like this? This is killing me. Absolutely killing me.

What is wrong with me? Why is my body STILL betraying me? I sob every day about this. My dumb luck. Something is completely wrong with me. :)

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Krista, I'm in the same boat. I was banded 1/9/08 and have only lost 14 lbs. All my friends that have been banded had lost like 20-30 pounds by this time. I haven't lost any weight for 2 weeks. But it is that time of the month, and I always gain Water weight. And I've read that when you start really working out that your muscles retain water. What I'm expecting to happen is to wake up and have lost a couple of pounds. That's just how my body works--plateau--drop--plateau--drop---etc. I bet that is what you'll do too. Don't get discouraged...we've all felt that way. It will work for you.

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Try to take heart. I know it is hard to stay positive and I can't explain why you aren't losing. Except to say that there are many of out there that have experienced the same problem of initially losing a decent chunck then fighting like heck not to gain it all back before a fill. I swear I spent my entire first year (and 14 fills!) feeling that way and yet despite all my constant feelings of failure I ended up losing 80 pounds that first year. Hardly a failure I'd say but it still didn't stop me from feeling like one throughout the year.

All I can suggest is to try to keep your chin up and probably stay off that infernal scale until you go in for that fill.

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I was banded 11/27/07and have only lost 10 lbs total!! however, i did just get my second fill and now feel restriction, I was able to eat almost anything without problem, but now, no. so I am hopeful that now i will be ablee to start losing. The Dr. was not too upset as he said the normal amoutn to lose is 1-2 lbs per month so i am not behind, but i want it GONE! Keep your chin up and be positive.

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Awww *BIG HUGS* First of all, take a big deep breath and relax! You are NOT failing!! The band is NOT failing you!! This is absolutely bog-standard normal for most people in their first few weeks. I WISH all lap-band literature came with a big warning that said "CAUTION: You may plateau and even regain weight in the first few weeks after the operation!! Do not panic, this is normal and does not mean you are failing!" Just to put it in a bit of perspective for you, I did a search for how many people have reported this exact same problem in the last few weeks:

I think I gained weight 7 days post-op

I gained 1.5 on mushies!

How to eat mushies and still lose

These are just some of the many posts made - you are not alone. *HUGS AGAIN* Just hang in there and it will start to happen for you...

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One month is NOT enough time to say the band is failing you. We all want to lose weight fast, but for some of us it's just not meant to be.

There are threads on the forum dedicated to slow losers

("slow losers unite"). And there are many threads about people that have gained during the healing phase, which you are still in.

My group of fellow November bandster compare our loses, and we are all different. Some have lost double what I have in the same amount of time.

Don't stress. Follow your Dr. instructions and continue your exercise.

Please, don;t freak out if your first fill doesn;t give you restriction and you are able to still eat more than you should or want. It can take several fills to get to the right restriction.

If you don;t understand the fill process, you can get more frustrated than you are now.

There are several very good threads "stickys" that explain the fill process, including and excellent one by "Wendell". Please read it.

You are in the same place about 75% of us have been the first month. It will get better.

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Whoaaaa!!! MamaJava!! This nutritionist is a TOOL for your help! NOT your mother, not your keeper, NOT your best friend!!

YOU are doing great!! Had the surgery and have cut the calories!! You just hang in there, it will get better!!

Keep a diary of what you eat and when, so you can show her and then maybe she can make some helpful suggestions.

I had to keep a one week food log to show the nutritionist when I started the paperwork process. I was so proud of that log, I'd cut out eating between meals and was so suprised when she looked at it handed it back to me and told me, "Well you know what you have to work on." WELL NO I DIDN'T!

I read the packet given to me by the dr. and that helped more than anything.

If you are worried, call that nutritionist tomorrow and ask her for suggestions. But Please, Please, don't beat yourself up about cutting your calories.

You are not a failure! You are just starting out and it will get better for you.

Hang in there!

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You've been banded less than a month and lost 9 lb, and you are bitching? Come on girl, get a grip. Dial back the drama, and read all the threads about GAINING weight prior to the first fill. You are doing fine. Get a grip. Exactly how much weight did you expect to lose in a month's time? I can pat you on the back and say "there, there" but I think it's more appropriate to advise you to use your head instead of your emotions and realize this is a commitment for the rest of your life and instant gratification isn't the name of the game. Chill!

PS I lost 10 lb in the first month after surgery. I think, and I thought at the time, I was doing fine. My weight fluctuates up and down 3 to 5 pounds every month, but still it eventually goes down in the end. Don't look for an excuse to quit, give up, throw in the towel, because you don't have one.

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muscle weighs more than fat.....stop working out-start walking. your mindset has it in to fail.It Will work.

I have to ask about the Non scale signs....how you feel -how your clothes fit etc,,,,,,hang in there you seem to be doing fine

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don't get depressed - it takes time - I'm on a month long plateau here - it is discouraging - but try and remember - you are working out - so that means that you are probably gaining muscle - which weighs MORE than fat - #2 have you measured your inches? - you are probably losing a ton of inches - get a measuring tape - don't always go by the scale - #3 don't be negative - you've taking a huge POSITIVE step in your life - you HAVE lost weight - you're in the early stages of this new journey it gets better - these are going to be life long changes - you didn't gain your weight overnight - you will not lose it overnight - I know alot of this you've heard and it sounds cliche - but it WILL GET BETTER!

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I think 9 lbs in a month is great. Multiply that by 12 and you have 108 lbs in a year.

Slow and steady wins the race.

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dont be so hard on yourself we all lose weight at different paces. i lost 40 pounds since the 12th of dec. i found when i was at 34 pounds lost i plateaued for 2 weeks and i was like what am i doing wrong!! i normally take in 800-1000 cal a day. so someone told me to increase cal for 2 days then go back down to my 800-1000 and by god it worked. but you say you take in 1200 a day try decreasing it too 1000 for a few days then go back up to your 1200 and step up on the exercise and see if that helps. hang in there this band will work for you!! start writing a food and exercise journal. go to myplate.com or fitday.com do your journals through there it will track food cal and exercise. maybe that will help. you can and will do this. weight loss may go slow but it will come off.!!

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Don't give up!!! I know just how you feel, and I promise you are not going to fail~ I had surgery on October 26th and lost 12 pounds in the week after surgery. Then...nothing. Nada. Zip! I have now had four fills and am just starting to feel restriction. I am now up to a grand total of 17 pounds in a little over three months...not breaking any speed records, but compared to before surgery (which would have been zero pounds lost in three months or pounds gained) not too shabby!!! I had a little 'mental health breakdown' right about where you are post-surgery and cried and said it was a big waste of money and I was going to be the one in a million who failed and I cried when I went in for my fill and the nurse practitioner said "That is exactly what every band patient says and all of them end up losing weight!!" I am going to tell you exactly what I have to tell myself every single day..."don't compare yourself to anyone on this message board, or anyone you meet or anyone you imagine!!!" You are you and you will lose weight according to your time table. You need to feel restriction and you will in time, I promise. Keep at it. The only way you are going to fail is if you throw in the towel before you've really started the fight!!! You just had major surgery a month ago!!! You are still swollen! You aren't at your sweet spot. Once the band starts really doing it's job you will do better. My doctor describes it as like an airplane..you have to get to cruising altitude and the fills are what get you there. It can take a while (fills) to get there, but once you get there you will cruise!!! I hope I have been some help~ I have been where you are, and at times still am!

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Thanks for the support, everybody!

The thing is, I'm not upset at all that I've lost "only" 13 pounds. I know that's great! I'm upset because I should not be gaining. From everything I've learned, I should be steadily losing weight (I'm not worried about speed, here)..not gaining. I don't expect miracles...I only expect to be rewarded for what I'm doing...not punished.

I'll keep moving forward, but I'm calling the facility tomorrow to see if I can talk to somebody. I know we are all different and I don't expect to be dropping big numbers right now. I just expect to be seeing changes and I'm not.

I've also ADDED 3 inches. Hello?!? 1 in my neck, 1 in my waist and 1 in my hips.

I still don't get it. I don't even get NSV's right now to be happy about.

I'll just keep moving forward like I said before. I'm not a quitter, but I am easily discouraged and I get disappointed in my body very, very easily.

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I was banded on 2/15/08 and have "only" lost 13 lbs, My doctor won't fill me until I lose more. I am not cheating, following the diet and exersizing!:eek:. I know it will come. Positive thoughts.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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