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I feel exactly the same way. Not that I've ever been after the guys I hang out with (seriously, just....no) but I think that if they start going after me, but only after losing weight I'll be really pissed!

You were talking about if guys hit on you after you lose weight--My girlfriend had gastric bypass almost 10 yrs ago and she said she actually had anger issues and had to see a therapist because of how diffrently she was treated after the surgery. All these people talked to her and hit on her that never even glanced at her before.

Now I have special considerations when it is two woman togethor, I am especially looking forward to losing the weight for certain things to work a little better. I hope my sex drive is not affected.

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I have a healthy sex drive and unfortunately my long time boyfriend sex drive has drooped. When we First met we had sex almost everyday if not everyday. But since I've gain so much weight its like I'm pulling his teeth. I asked him was it my weight that was an issue he said yes. I was really hurt by it. I've tried everything to lose weight but I would gain it all over again. We're still together but its not the same, I always have that thing in the back of my mind that he'll leave because of my uncontrollable weight gain and other issues we are facing. :thumbup:

(I have not had banding yet)

Edited by rmichel

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Yeah, I have a lower sex drive, but even though it may have something do to with weight loss, I'm almost certain it is because my view on life is a bit different. I was always told as a kid that getting a girl pregnant by accident is the end of your life, so growing up, the thought of having sex was out of the question. I did lose my virginity at 18, but I can still count on two hands how many times it has happened since then. haha.

Oh, and since I haven't yet gotten into medical school, not much sex is sought after. haha.

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I've been in a long-distance relationship for 2 years... we've never lived closer to each other than a 90-minute drive. Now, we're a 90 minute flight (10+ hour drive) apart--he's in Dallas, I'm in St. Louis. That, alone, is hell. Two days out of every 14 is not enough! Trying to ramp up the physiological signals "on demand" is hard enough, but gathering the energy for sex is the hardest part for me.

However, the last 30-40 pounds or so have really put a damper on the libido overall, so I guess it's better to be fat and far apart now, and skinny and living together (!!!!) later. :smile2:

We're getting married next March, and I can't wait to be a skimpy-Victoria's Secret-clad, sexy wife who isn't afraid to leave the lights on... :crying::tongue2::unsure:

I just discovered the Twenties board, and I am soooo happy we're all here together! Especially when there are discussions like this one going on. Best of luck to all the single ladies out there--God bless battery powered boyfriend substitutes!

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My boyfriend and I have been apart for almost 4 years now. (Together for yrs he went away for school.) Its a 2 hour drive, he's in Fort Myers, FL. and I'm in Miami. We do the nasty once every:thumbdown: 2-3 wks. But when I get a hold on him its like all day:tt2:. Thats only if he doesn't start crabbing about how tried he is. I really hope my sex drive does not decrease I like feeling sexual.:tongue2: Well most of the time. (If I get some).:thumbup:

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I can honestly say that I hope my sex drive goes up. I've been overweight for a very long time and I know that's affected it and my confidence. I don't even want to admit how long it's been since the last time I've been with anyone, so hopefully the future will be bright for me!

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yeah I'm on birth control, two antidepressants, and thyroid medication and my sex drive is...wow...lol neverending. Once again...it's my boyfriend who isn't into it much. I started to think if it was my weight but then again he has Crohn's disease and he's in pain a lot. I really hope once I lose my weight my libido doesn't go up lol...

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but I have basically no sex drive due to anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medications

Ugh, I have the same problem.

I'm totally bizarre though -- most of the time, I have absolutely no drive, but every so often I'm completely insatiable!

Ha ha ha that makes me sound like such a whore!

Even when I have no drive, I will always "go along with it" because I like to know that I'm making someone else happy. And it's not like I don't enjoy it, even though I have no drive! It just means that I might not necessarily have suggested it, but if he suggests it, then sure!

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I've always said that if after losing weight some guy that knew me when I was bigger tries getting with me it would be a nono because if they weren't into me when I was big then I don't want them. :lol:

See I'm in two minds about this........ only in relation to one man.

We've been best friends since we were sixteen, and we would occasionally hook up, right since the start. To clarify, at 16, I was 62kg (135lbs) which is my current goal weight.

So anyway, we would go out, have a great night, come home, sleep together and always just be totally cool about it. The problem is, I go through stages (severe stages) of having real actual serious feelings for him. Like the biggest crush you've ever imagined.

Anyway, I love him more than anyone, as a friend and... maybe as something more. I don't know for sure.

So anyway, we occasionally hook up. No big deal. We've been doing it since I was 135lbs, and we were still doing it when I was almost twice that weight.

At the moment he has been living overseas for six months.... when he left, I was at my heaviest (and we hooked up 2 days before he left), and by the time he comes back, I should be at goal. (He'll be away 2 years).

WHEN i get down to goal again... if he still comes a 'knockin, I wouldn't be averse to it at all. I guess because I know that he has been somewhat "consistent" in his attentions, whether I was fat or fabulous.

And now for the important question behind this entire story.....

AM I A DOORMAT?? :thumbup:

Edited by anniedub

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Update - I stopped taking any Lexapro and just like magic my sex drive returned. It's awesome, but now without that med. I feel like I want to beat the snot out of anyone who ticks me off. I can't win!!

Robin

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From a guys prospective my sex drive has gone through the roof compared to pre band and its only been 10 weeks and 40lb. At this point I am thinking about my wife three times a day rather than three times a week. (not to mention an added bonus that everything lasts much longer and looks much bigger)

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I just wanna look forward to actually thinking I can get a guy and not fast-forwarding to the part where he touchs me or sees me without some article of clothing and is completly turned off....Not that I've even made it that far since I've put on all the weight but my brain takes over and I basically curse myself to failing in any kind of relationship....my shrink tells me I have a phobia of being in social situations because of my weight basically because when I wasn't the size I currently am I wasn't afraid to go out at all, now days it's like I'll get excited till I see myself in the mirror then change my clothes into less fitting and "going out clothes" to clothes like baggie sweatshirts and baggier jeans with flat shoes. GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO FEEL ATTRACTIVE AND SEXY ohhhhh AND to have sex again (it's been a really really really long time)

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OMG! YES..my sex drive has gone through the roof!

This is gonna sound horrible, but I go to like Walmart or something and a cute guy will walk by and I turn and check him out and think Yeah I could totally tap that! lol

So yes drive is through the roof, as for the rest, well I have this personal goal of not attempting to "make up" for lost time while I was fat :rolleyes:

LOL girl you totally cracked me up with the wal mart and i could totally tap that... BUt if this is the case I cant wait cause when i was thinner omg me and my man totally violated fort campbell back in the day lol I wanted it like 6 times a day, now like once a day gosh i need to get in the mentality of wanting it like a mad women for when he is here for a thanks giving...

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My damn bullet broke! 2nd one to break on me. I feel like such a freak! HAHA!

LOL!!! At least I know Im not the only one with that problem!! make sure you take the batteries out between each use ;-)

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    • Alisa_S

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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