Why is it that husbands ca'nt seem smell their own farts?

[ingyrob 1]

As you all know, before the band lots of us tried nearly every diet ever invented. I went on one once which involved eating a significant amount of died apricots. The first time I ate the apricots was absolutely awful. My abdomen blew up so that I looked about 9 months pregnant and the pain was so severe. I had to pass wind and when I did the odour was indescribably foul. It was so bad that my husband banished me to the spare room during the day!!!

Can anyone remember the "F Plan" diet? I was on that diet and I was shopping with my som who was aged 11 at the time. We were in the stationery store looking for books and pens etc when suddenly I had terrible wind. I tried to clench my buttocks to stop the wind escaping, but was unsuccessful and I let out this ginormous fart, it was like a thunderclap. Of course I was really embarrassed and I said to my son,"come on we must get out of here" my son didn't want to leave, he protested "but I haven't got my pencils yet!" I told him that I did not care and we had to go.

Anyway that is not as bad as my husband who farted and a man fell off his bike.

[Kat817 19]

Anyway that is not as bad as my husband who farted and a man fell off his bike.

I think there is a story here we need to hear.....

Kat

[ingyrob 1]

Not much of a story I am afraid Kat, but we were in Australia and we had just finished coffee in an outdoor cafe and my husband did a fart, really loudly. Just as he did this a young man who was riding along on his bike, promptly fell off. We were there with about 10 of our relatives and all of us were rolling on the floor laughing like mad. As I said this is not much of a story, but boy was it funny! I have dined off this story for years and laugh every time I think of it. You will be pleased to know that it wasn't smelly though..

[*susan* 1,709]

This thread was too funny. And, I think my chocolate lab Max could out-fart all of you! He really knows how to clear a room. They are loud and as soon as he lets one, he jumps up and looks really shocked like he can't believe that came from him and then he runs and hides in the other room.

[PhotoEgor 0]

As you all know, before the band lots of us tried nearly every diet ever invented. I went on one once which involved eating a significant amount of died apricots. The first time I ate the apricots was absolutely awful. My abdomen blew up so that I looked about 9 months pregnant and the pain was so severe. I had to pass wind and when I did the odour was indescribably foul. It was so bad that my husband banished me to the spare room during the day!!!

Can anyone remember the "F Plan" diet?

Hey Kat,

I don't know anything about the F plan. But I do remember from when I was working at a health food store. To overcome gas, get some brewers yeast tablets. Take 4-6 two times a day. NOTE: You will have an increase in gas initially. It should become less offensive within a few days. The reason is that the brewers yeast kills metabolizes most of the sulphurous compunds that make gas so smelly. I've had customers that swore by it.

Brewers yeast is also great for some other stuff, dust the powder around your ankles before hiking to avoid ticks, dust the dogs too to keep the fleas and ticks down. Works on Husbands too!

Cheap cure.

gk

[egorsgirl1 0]

:thumbup:

Can wife chew and fart too?

Neither of us uses tobacco. She never started and I gave up smoking to date her. But she can hold her own in any farting contest.

gk

I have no idea who this strange bald man is, why he's saying these things, nor why he claims to be connected to me in any way!

On the other hand, he does look an awful lot like all four of my children:angel_smile:

[*susan* 1,709]

Oh oh, PhotoEgor, I think you may be in trouble with the wife!

[PhotoEgor 0]

[ingyrob 1]

Hi PhotoEgor

Thanks for the tip about Brewers Yeast. I have not heard of that for years. I am off to get some soon.

The "F" Plan diet was all the rage many years ago. The idea was that one ate lots of fibre such as bran and this would help with weight loss. It eventually became known by its followers as the "Fart" Plan diet. As is the way with all diets, it eventually fell out of favour.

Good Luck to you and your Soulmate with your weight Loss

[miztrniceguy 1]

last sunday in church an elderly lady behind us let one loose that probably could be heard thru the whole chapel...this was during the silence while the Sacrament was being passed. a few minutes later my 4 yr old daughter let loose a response of 3 long ones, one after another. it was all my wife and i could do to keep from busting up with laughter.

[crazycat 2]

last sunday in church an elderly lady behind us let one loose that probably could be heard thru the whole chapel...this was during the silence while the Sacrament was being passed. a few minutes later my 4 yr old daughter let loose a response of 3 long ones, one after another. it was all my wife and i could do to keep from busting up with laughter.

I wonder if everyone around you knew it was your little one and not you or your wife? That was certainly one of life's funny momets.

[PhotoEgor 0]

But I thought this would be so appropriate when I got it from a friend today.

gk

Never

Never

Never

Never

Never

Never

Fart when wearing a wet suit!

[miztrniceguy 1]

that is the most bizarre thing i've seen in a long time

[miztrniceguy 1]

I wonder if everyone around you knew it was your little one and not you or your wife? That was certainly one of life's funny momets.

my wife asked me if it was our daughter, and i replierd just loud enough for those in front and behind to hear that it was my daughter...i'd never let loose a loud one in church!!:smile2:

[green 6]

But I thought this would be so appropriate when I got it from a friend today.

gk

Never

Never

Never

Never

Never

Never

Fart when wearing a wet suit!

[ATTACH]11994[/ATTACH]

Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!!