Nosy family members + my dating life = mortification

Marimaru · January 22, 2008

I don't think you are over-reacting, but something that has helped me with my parents is this; I have realized that they are both pretty much set in their ways. Not much I say to them is actually going to change the way they behave about certain things. An example would be your decision to be really vague with your mom, since you know she is going to tell your stepdad everything. Unfortunately, we just have to get used to some of this stuff because it isn't going away.

gingerbug · January 22, 2008

Well, the whole nosy parent thing aside, I think I would be more upset if I was told I was 'irrational' for feeling that way. It implies my feelings are not valid and that is just not cool. If your mom could just say 'I am sorry you feel that way, we meant no harm' maybe you would feel different? I am really glad they guy is not weirded out, sounds like a keeper.

saleel22 · January 22, 2008

Hi Secretstolen, I am a Mum and a Grandmother and I would never have done what they did. I would have waited until he was finished exercising and then if the opportunity was there I would have just said hello I'm so and so's Mum. Your stepfather had no right to approach him especially if you aren't even close. Husbands and wives have secrets together but when you have specifically asked your Mum not to talk to your stepfather about some thing she should respect that. Hope you feel better now that you have let it out on here. Good luck with the guy.

Saleel22

snowbird · January 22, 2008

I guess I have a question, make that 2 why do our parents[step or otherwise] feel as though they can treat us as children forever and why do we take crap from them that we would never take from our friends. Just wondering!

jasmona,

because 1 we still feel responsible for you. It's genetically programmed, and you probably won't ever get around it. 2 because they are our parents and they gave us life and raised us and put up with all of our crap, so we feel forever like we owe them. I'm between my twentysomething kids and my mother who wants me to visit her every day, so I'm feeling the pain both ways.

secretstolen · January 25, 2008

Hey everyone! Sorry I hadn't been around the last couple of days..

Just wanted to thank each and every one of you for your thoughts and feedback. It was nice to be able to vent about it and get other perspectives.

I'm pleased to say that the reason why I haven't been around much is because I've been meeting up with (I'll refer to him as) "Lloyd Dobler" at the gym after work (and how fun is it to be on a treadmill next to him and watch him try to impress me? :lol: ). Yesterday evening as we finished working out he asked me to have dinner with him, which I did graciously. Today at work he asked me if I was interested in spending Saturday with him in Northern Virginia where we'll grab dinner, see a movie, and do some other stuff. Before leaving work he also asked me if I wanted to have coffee with him tonight. All of which I've been more than willing to do.

And, because some of you wanted updates..

I met him at Starbucks this evening to get coffee and we were just sitting and talking when two of his friends walked in. They're both young women, roommates and very good friends, and they all know each other from college. One of them I have met twice before and she's hilarious. We all were talking and joking around when she said loudly to Lloyd, talking about me, "This girl is awesome! I love her! She is great and you'd better not mess this up!" It was just a really cute moment. His friends like me! Yay!

A little while later, the same girl pal asked me what I was doing tomorrow. Apparently they were all going to get together just as a big group of friends to go see Cloverfield (which I've already seen), but she asked me if I wanted to come and I told her sure, as long as Lloyd was ok with me hanging out with all of his friends, which he says he is.

We left a little bit after that. He walked me to my car and gave me a big hug like he always does. He was on his way to a friend's house to hang out for a couple hours so I told him, "It's getting late, you'd better go. I hope you have fun tonight. Tell [friend's name] I said hello." He smiled and then leaned in and kissed me. Then I got giggling and he was like, "Is it ok that I did that?" and I was like, "Of course!" and then he kissed me a couple more times! A few minutes later, I told him he had to go.. he couldn't keep his friend waiting.. and we left. He sent me a text message when he got to his friend's house and he says he's going to call me in the morning.

Yeah. I'm kinda still blushing.

Wow! Sixth date and he finally kissed me! Yay!

So, everyone, thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my spastic, nervous, worried little heart! :eek:

saleel22 · January 25, 2008

Hi Secretstolen,

I'm glad every thing is workng out for you and your new friend. Sounds like you are very sensible and taking things slow. Good for you. I look forward to more updates in the future. You know engagements, weddings, family, lol. It is a bit like one of those commercials that continues as a story. Don't leave us in limbo. Best of luck.

Saleel22

Kittenqutie · January 25, 2008

Didn't I say this would be a story to tell the kids and grand kids. You two are soo qute its like a movie:lol:. You 2 seem to be spending ALOT of time together and its great that even his friends like you (I have seen that break up even the best of unions).

Llyod and you make the Hopeless Romantic me think there actually is hope.:redface: I'm sure things will work out just fine. And about that kiss did it make your toes curl???

SO congrats and keep up the good work at the gym. My band date was moved to the 4th so I am even more scared:scared2:, but I think it will be fine. SO keep me posted all of us on here are curious:w00t:.