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The most insulting compliment.



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He walks in, sits down then looks over at me and said "I didn't recognize you. Jeez, now I feel like the biggest slob in the room."

All I can say is, OH MY GOD!!!

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May be a bit late in coming but I'd like to add an "Amen Sistah" to Wasa et al re there comments on it being difficult for us to accept any compliments regarding our looks no matter how sincerely intented.

That said I have to admit I was so PISSED at my father's wife the other night when I was speaking to her about some recognition I had been getting recently regarding my success with the lapband she had to comment that she & my father were so proud of me, as she had never thought I'd be able to stick to it. WTF!!! :biggrin: OMG was I furious!!! This woman never even met me until a few months before I had the surgery nearly 3 years ago and in all that time I've barely seen or spoke to her more than a dozen times so who did she think she was to come to that conclusion much less have the audacity to tell me like it was some kind of compliment that I'd surpassed her low expectations of me. Boy I wanted to bitch slap that b..but I bit my toungue for the sake of my father.

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I know a LOT of beautiful, shapely women who because they are so mean, cruel, bitchy, hateful and snooty, truly become ugly to me. Their sour demeamor puckers up that face and makes them look like the ass end of a baboon.

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I get comments like "The boys must be knocking down your door." THEY ARE NOT!!!! Nor were they before so I am perplexed????

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I hate that comment... it's dumb. Boys don't really knock down anyone's door, for starters. I've found that if you want boys to be all over you, you have to give out a certain vibe. It really has little to do with weight or looks. But the problem is that the kind of boys who are all over you when you put out that vibe are the kind a sensible person wouldn't want!

Sometimes our society gives out a message that being thin solves all of life's problems. Well boy-girl problems are more complex than that! Yes, it will be easier for people to see the "real" you if you aren't overweight, but that won't solve every problem.

I also got "you're going to look great in a bikini" when I last lost lots of weight. Um, no. I knew I'd have batwing arms and a poochy tummy, stretch marks and also a surgery scar right down my middle. It made me feel bad when they said that at first, but eventually I just translated it into "you'll be so happy when you lose the weight" since I figured that's what they really meant. :woot:

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My favorite so far is when a co-worker said, "You need to slow down on your weight loss..." I was thinking, "Hmm...am I getting too thin?" And this was followed by, "Cause if you keep losing weight, your head will be bigger than your whole body...." Grr!!!

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This is the one that made my jaw drop. Had a manicure appointment, new place had never been there before. Sat down to get my nails done and the first thing the lil lady says to me is...........SO YOU THINK EATING IS FUN HUH?? I was dumbfounded, what do u say to that? So of course i just smiled when inside i just wanted to die.

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This is the one that made my jaw drop. Had a manicure appointment, new place had never been there before. Sat down to get my nails done and the first thing the lil lady says to me is...........SO YOU THINK EATING IS FUN HUH?? I was dumbfounded, what do u say to that? So of course i just smiled when inside i just wanted to die.

:ohmy:OMG!!!! I cannot believe that...

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Whenever I heard the "you have such a pretty face" line, I always want to come back with: "and you have such a nice body, its a pity about your face."

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As one who was always fat as a child but lost it all at 20 and gained it all back and lost it again and gained all back I've been on both sides of the fence. Won't mention my present condition but at a family reunion during one of my thin phases I actually had an older cousin come up to me who hadn't seen me in a while tell me as she saw I was thin at that time that my mother had told her on her death bed that she had said that her one wish was that I be thin!

Maybe it's just me but I would have rather she said "be happy" or "do well in life" or something that wasn't so superficial. brandyII:frown:

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I absolutely HATE the "You have such a pretty face". I get so pissed when people say that.... I tell them! Then they say, "that's not what I mean...". I have heard that my whole life.

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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