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Do you think there is discrimination against obese people?



Have you ever suffered discrimination because you are big?  

1 member has voted

  1. 1. Have you ever suffered discrimination because you are big?

    • Yes I have
      314
    • No I haven't
      36


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I have disability insurance. It kicks in after 7 consecutive days of being unable to do your normal routine. I was out of work for 11 days after surgery so I filed a claim. AFLAC wouldn't pay it. Obesity wasn't an "illness" or accident, but since I had been fat for years, it was a pre-existing "condition". It didn't matter that it wasn't a health problem until recently. If it wasn't an "illness", what would it matter if it were a pre-existing condition? Is it or isn't it? I was furious.

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If I have been I'm too preoccupied to notice. Being a nurse I've never applied for a job that I didn't get. Nurses are in such short supply around they have to hire anyone with a license! I'm 67 and trying to retire and I still get several flyers or letters each week with job offers. Even fron the Army! Now as far as fat clothes. They are ugly! Who would wear bright pink stretch pants? And that's so true, they think fat people automatically get taller too. I'm 5'3" and if I don't get petites the crotch hangs down between my knees. Or I can pull the waist up to my boobs. LOL

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While working at a bank a customer called and needed to speak to the woman who had helped her earlier in the day while she was in the bank. She couldn't remember the name of the teller, but stated, "it was the heavy-set one." I said, "Oh, well that would be me." She went on with her business without an apology...as if that was an appropriate way to refer to someone helping them! :tt1:

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<TABLE id=HB_Mail_Container height="100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0 UNSELECTABLE="on"><TBODY><TR height="100%" width="100%" UNSELECTABLE="on"><TD id=HB_Focus_Element vAlign=top width="100%" background="" height=250 UNSELECTABLE="off">I have never been discriminated against b/c I'm big. I think it's in your head. Why would somebody reject you for a job based on your looks? I mean if you're qualified for the position, then you should get it, right? Men have always treated me the same no matter what I look like. I've never been rejected for a job that I really wanted because of my weight. I've never been stared at in the mall, or when I'm eating in a restaurant. I've never been upset because I have nothing to wear because I was too fat to fit into anything in my closet. I have never cried myself to sleep thinking, "Why can't I loose weight and be normal?". I have never thought that personal trainer at the gym looked down on my because I was so fat. I don't think anybody in the girl's locker room has stared, wondering where my fat rolls end and begin...

OK, lets get real. I can go on and on... Facts are facts.

FAT PEOPLE ARE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST ALL THE TIME, EVERY DAY, EVERY MINUTE, EVERY HOUR!!! If you say it hasn't happened to you, you are still in denial.

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You aren't kidding. The plus size section absolutely sucks. But I personally hate Lane Bryant, too. When you're fat and short (and I'm barely under average height), clothes shopping is the pits. At Lane Bryant, they apparently think that as women get wider, they also get taller. I can't even wear their petite stuff; it's 4 inches too long. Their shirts don't fit right either; the arms are too long, the neckline's too wide, etc.

See, I have exactly the OPPOSITE problem. I'm 5'10" and everything is TOO short. Even now, as I get smaller, the shirts seem to be getting shorter and shorter. I definitely am not (NOR will I ever be...) ready for 'belly' shirts!! HAHAHA I usually do well at The Avenue, Catherine's or CJ Banks. Of course, I'm pretty conservative.

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I once had a Human Resources guy get all uncomfortable when I asked him about a uniform for this dirty foundry I worked in. He all blushed and stammere, an was like, "well, um..., for your, uh...we should look at men's uniforms, because, ah...of your stout nature..." He was so uncomfortable, I changedd subject quick, but it always still makes me giggle. STOUT, like a teapot, right? Never been called that before.

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This is what I think…..

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I think there are some obese people whose personality and confidence outshine their weight and it does affect how most people treat them. There is no doubt that personality, confidence, how you dress and how you carry yourself can affect how people treat you. But I also wouldn’t be surprised if there are a lot of things being said about them that they don’t know about. I’m not saying this is happening, but that it is very possible. I’ve read stories about formerly obese people who get to hear things that other people say about obese people, when the formerly obese person is around someone that doesn’t know they were ever obese.

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I’m not a type A person, I never will be, fat or thin, and I’ve never had an abundance of confidence, which I think personally was a factor in me gaining as much weight as I have. When I was a teenager I was between 10 and 15lbs overweight and thought I was huge. Of course the worse I felt about myself and the more I isolated the bigger I got. There is a huge difference in the way people treat me. Part of it is probably the way I feel about myself, I’m depressed a lot, etc. But if I wasn’t obese or overweight, and if I was thin, I don’t think it would matter if I went into the store in my sweats, no make-up, hair on my head, etc. Or if I was feeling depressed and withdrawn. So what if I’m not extraverted, or bubbly, or happy, or confident, or outgoing. If you are obese, you have to be that way in order to be treated the same as everyone else, but a non obese person doesn’t necessarily have to have those personality traits or be perfectly dressed all the time. As an obese person I feel that I’m just not given the same flexibilty or benefit of the doubt as non obese people. Everything I say and do, or don’t say and do, is judged much more harshly than a non obese person. This has been my experience.

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PS

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I feel like I have been discriminated against in many ways, my sister didn't want me in her wedding because I didn't fit the dress she wanted,

The doctor who assumed the need for a skin graft was my own fault because I was fat and refused to let me have anesthesia for the procedure, even though the anesthesiologist and all nurses thought I needed it. (Ever had a skin graft with a local?) The doctor who told me they gave me enough medicine to stop a horse when I had a colonoscopy and couldn't understand why I woke up twice, the airplane company that charges double for a person who weighs over 250, (Bet they don't give a discount for people under 150), theater seats, bus seats, airplane seats, toilet stalls, none of them are very accommodating. Yes, I may have an attitude that brings out the best in people, but I am well educated and usually well dressed, work out four times a week, carry myself well, but people still look past me when I need assistance in a store, I'm very outgoing and never met a stranger but people do treat heavy people differently and often assume we are lazy, slovenly, illiterate, and want to be this way. Let me tell you, I didn't choose to be fat, I was dealt the genes and body make-up that I have and have to live with it. I am pumped about my band. Not everyone I encounter treats me this way. I look past doctors who seem to have a problem seeing past the layer of fat and find one willing to look at the person that I am and help me with my unique health problems. The people I work with depend on me and know how hard I work to be the best that I can be. Yes, I have limitations but so do thin people.

Sorry for the long rant but as you can tell, this is one of my hot button issues.

Good luck to everyone on this board. We all come from unique circumstances and backgrounds but we are all dealing with what we have to and trying to get healthier.

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When I was teaching at one school, I was told I wasn't allowed to sit at my desk at all. Not even to take attendance. I was told that sitting at my desk made me look lazy. The teacher two doors down was thin and actually sat on her desk while doing lessons with her class and nothing was said to her. It frustrated me enough that I gave up teaching for years, never had the nerve to go back, until just recently.

I prefer to think that people don't realize how hurtful their actions are rather than to assume all of these people are just heartless.

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I have been overweight my whole life - even as a child, so I definitely have experienced this. Junior High School was the worst time of my life - especially gym class. They didn't make a uniform that fit me so I could never particiapate without holding on to my too small pants. It was humiliating. All the boys used to call me "Truck".

Same thing when I worked in a hotel - no uniforms that fit me, and I was only a size 16!! They made me feel like crap about having to special order one for me.

Strangely enough I've had a much easier time as a adult, even though I am a lot bigger now.

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Okay, okay, look. There are some bastard people out there who are so self-absorbed that anyone who isn't skinny or athletically built is just annoying sewage, but come on. Is there REALLY a reason to complain about it? We have the rights and abilities of most people, yet there's so much complaining about it. Bluntly, people, life happens, get over it.

Make no mistake, I was ALWAYS the fat kid growing up, so I didn't just start eating to much and pack on the pounds. There were times where I was discriminated against, but how do you think I learned about life what I know now? How do you think I know how to handle certain situations to get the benefit of the doubt?

I don't mean to sound like I'm criticizing anyone. If there's anything I've learned after my accident, it's that life happens and then, for who knows why, it goes on. So, take it for what you will.

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You make a very good point and it is one that I have tried to instill in my children, life happens, deal with it. I think I have done a fine job of adapting to my size but there are many inconveniences related to my size. Change in peoples attitudes only comes when the need for change is pointed out. Yes, we have to deal with the hand we are dealt but that doesn't mean we can't work to change the things that are wrong.

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I agree with Never Again. I think that you have to have a fighters mentality and use all of these hurtful stories as fuel to make a change. There is plenty of opportunity to play the victim if you allow yourself to do it. I don't want to sit next to a obese person on a plane so if that is discrimination then I am guilty on that one.

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I agree with Never Again. I think that you have to have a fighters mentality and use all of these hurtful stories as fuel to make a change. There is plenty of opportunity to play the victim if you allow yourself to do it. I don't want to sit next to a obese person on a plane so if that is discrimination then I am guilty on that one.

But that is the point, We should be working to get the plane seats larger, not criticizing the person in the large body.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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