Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Waitresses and drinks



Recommended Posts

What's the deal? WHY, when I say, "No thank you, nothing at all to drink," do they always think they're being helpful when they bring me Water and say, "Just in case!" I'm getting tired of it. I wasn't kidding when I said nothing to drink. I don't even like it on the table because I used to be a major meal drinker and it's a subconscious thing to reach for that glass in the middle of a bite. I haven't drank any, yet, but I keep wanting to reach for that dang glass.

What can I say without saying, "I've had surgery, I can't HAVE anything to drink with my meal," that'll get them to BELIEVE me that I REALLY don't want anything to drink? I'm actually getting to the point where I think it's really rude when they ask what to drink and I say nothing and they say, "Not even water?" I say no, thank you and they STILL bring me that dang water. :wink:

I know it's not a huge deal and it's not going to alter the course of the universe whether or not they put water in front of me, but it makes my struggle to follow my band and diet rules that much harder.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am a waitress and as a waitress I can tell you that they are just trying to do their job and not to annoy you. You can always just give the glass back and say, no thank you and your point will be taken.

good luck with that

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am having the same type issues too! I go out to eat with friends and the waitress goes around the table asking, and comes to me and I say, nothing for me thank you. Everyone looks at me strange, people offer to pay for my drink! As if I'm being cheap. Yes I am cheap, but that's not the reason!

So then the waitress offers me a free soft drink. NO thanks, I don't drink when I eat. Are you sure? yup, I'm pretty sure, I know i'm weird.

It always just ends up being a 5 min. issue to say no thanks to a drink!

At american resteraunts I order Water just to shut them up because it's free. Here in Europe Water cost an arm and a leg! Up to $4 for a glass of water! no ice. So I refuse to purchase that to make everyone happy.

Man, sometimes i just want to put a sign on my forehead. I DO NOT DRINK WITH MY MEALS, YES I AM WEIRD, BUT I WILL NOT BE ORDERING A DRINK TODAY!

But if you want to bring me a free appetizer than so be it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know it gets annoying, but waitressing is not an easy job. I used to be a waitress and it is unbelievable how abusive and mean customers can be. These people are just trying to do their job. I know it can get annoying when they go on about specials and trying to sell drinks and appetizers, but most restaurants make the servers give the speal and try and sell you stuff you don't want. It is just like any other business. Restaurants have what they call secret shoppers that are made to present challenges to the servers and they secretly grade them on their performance. If they do not give the speal they get written up. These shoppers are not know so servers are made to treat every customer as a secret shopper. Believe it or not Sunday is the worst day to work in a restaurant! Church people come in to eat and they can be so nasty. I don't think there was ever a Sunday that I was not in tears by the end of my shift. I worked so hard, ran my but off, and did every thing I could to please these people and I was still left with no tip, and sometimes even had to pay for part of their meal because they would up and leave without seeing the bill. Now, I am a Church goer, so I am not trying to bad mouth people but it is amazing to me that these people are comming from Worshiping the Lord and treat people this way. I just really wish people would think twice before giving servers a hard time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As a former waitress, my experience was that if people did not order a drink with their meal I ALWAYS made sure they had Water (actually I brought EVERYONE water....always). More than anything it is just polite...you might drink it, dip your napkin in it and wipe some food off your shirt, or clean off some baby's face, or whatever, but it's just kindof a nice thing to have at the table "just in case". I understand your feeling of aggravation, but I think the easiest thing is to automatically order water if someone asks what you would like. No one will think anything...people do it all the time, and then let it sit. That's what I do, and no one ever notices that I don't touch anything.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As a former waitress, my experience was that if people did not order a drink with their meal I ALWAYS made sure they had Water

Same here, generally. If people did say no water, I wouldn't bring them anything but to be honest it made me uncomfortable! Now this solves the mystery...perhaps they were banded folks?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Instead of saying, "What part of 'I don't want anything to drink' don't you understand, dumbass?" you might just order a glass of Water and put it out of reach. I was a huge drinker, with a straw, but I don't put the straw in the drink and I drink the Water. Often times a table mate drinks my water or I clean my kid's face with the napkin dipped in it.

Really aren't there other issues out there to keep you up at night? That server isn't out there to sabotage your success. They are people doing a really hard job with out much respect.

I know every tactic we have helps but this is one of those pick your battles times.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

But, the point is that just having it there on the table is a temptation I'd rather not have there. I understand they're doing their job but it is frustrating and I've only been out to eat once since surgery! :welldoneclap:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

when they ask me I just order Water and sit it in the farthest corner of the table away from me so I am not tempted to drink it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Since I eat out alot and to stop the questions I will order Water, and old habits are hard to break I would sometime take a sip only to suffer when I did. I recently decided to say when asked that I didn't want anthing to drink, the waitress screamed out I don't think I've ever waited on anyone who didn't want anything to drink, so I quitely said I've had surgery so I can't drink with my meals. Boy was that the wrong thing to say, the next remarks from the waitress was Gosh! what did they do to you that you can't drink. After she finally left our table half the restaurant knew I couldn't drink while eating. Made me feel like they we thinking, well if she drink more and ate less she wouldn't be so fat. And yes I did leave her a tip, I just figured I may be fat and I'm doing something about it, but she was stupid and to stupid to realize it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

bmysuccess, Yep, ya can fix FAT, but ya cant fix STUPID!

steph cn, I'm old and set in my way's, if I say no Water, I mean no Water. Should I still get it, I'd ask for them to take it back . . . . . . . no problem.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

WOW. It is a wonder how you even got served if she was that stupid. Maybe you should try being a server. You could probably teach all the stupid servers how to do their job! And people wonder how anyone could live with the guilt of spitting is someone's food! Geez guys it is a freakin glass of Water. Calm down. At least the person serving you cares enough to think that you might want something to drink at some point. I am not saying that all servers are perfect, but they are people to. Have some respect. You'd be offended if I called you stupid over having a hissy about a stupid glass of water. If it is that much of a problem why not order a glass of ice? No questions asked no liquid to drink. If it is that much of a temptation how can you sit at a table with other people's drinks there, or do you make them not order anything either?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Better yet, why don't you just stay home and cook. Less fat, better for you, no "stupid servers" to deal with, AND.......NO FREAKIN GLASS OF Water TO LOOK AT! There problem solved!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Steve, if you are losing any weight then you are the perfect example of your own statement.

To the OP, when the server asks you what you want to drink, simply say "nothing, and please don't even bring a glass of Water." If he/she still brings the Water, politely remind them that you didn't want water. You have to realize and respect that your problem/desire is a pretty unique one in restaurant world; most of the complaints servers hear are that they didn't get the drink to the table fast enough, or that they didn't keep the water glasses full!

Also, sometimes the server isn't the person who brings the table water, sometimes it's a busboy. Just say "no thank you, I don't want any".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×