Imposter syndrome?

[Tamika James 60]

Anyone else dealing with a serious case of imposter syndrome or anxiety? I am back in school to get my undergrad and law degree, that's actually one of the main reasons I decided to get the surgery. But I was sitting here thinking of my graduation trip and imagining being on a beach somewhere in a new body and I started to panic. It's like the thought of actually achieving my goals causes me to panic. Anybody else deal with that? I spoke to my therapist about it yesterday and I am addressing it but I hate the panicky feeling I get. Shouldn't achieving things bring joy?

[KathyLev 284]

You have one thing we all share ............ fear of the unknown. The "what if's " can kill us if we let it. As I was told ( because I'm a worrier) to just take it one day at a time . It's working Best of luck to you - I'm glad you found this forum !!!

[Tamika James 60]

1 minute ago, KathyLev said:

You have one thing we all share ............ fear of the unknown. The "what if's " can kill us if we let it. As I was told ( because I'm a worrier) to just take it one day at a time . It's working Best of luck to you - I'm glad you found this forum !!!

You guys have been so great and welcoming and I so appreciate every single reply

[AmberFL 307]

YEP!! I graduate with my business degree this summer. I am terrified about finally finishing school and not having that a part of my identity anymore. Getting a new job in my new body. Will it bring more harm than good to my relationship? What will my kids think? I should be excited but I honestly panicking.

[Tamika James 60]

1 minute ago, AmberFL said:

YEP!! I graduate with my business degree this summer. I am terrified about finally finishing school and not having that a part of my identity anymore. Getting a new job in my new body. Will it bring more harm than good to my relationship? What will my kids think? I should be excited but I honestly panicking.

This!!! This exactly. I panic every single semester that I'm not going to actually pass my classes. Then when I pass I worry about the next semester. Now I'm worrying about the LSATs, surgery, passing the bar. I don't know why I don't feel like I can't achieve my goals while I'm actively achieving my goals.

[AmberFL 307]

1 minute ago, Tamika James said:

This!!! This exactly. I panic every single semester that I'm not going to actually pass my classes. Then when I pass I worry about the next semester. Now I'm worrying about the LSATs, surgery, passing the bar. I don't know why I don't feel like I can't achieve my goals while I'm actively achieving my goals.

I am the exact say way, I am trying to learn to be happy with what I achieve in the now and not keep looking forward to what's next..its been a struggle my whole life

[Tamika James 60]

Just now, AmberFL said:

I am the exact say way, I am trying to learn to be happy with what I achieve in the now and not keep looking forward to what's next..its been a struggle my whole life

So glad to know I'm not alone. *big hugs

[Lily2024 121]

Oh I remember those days so well, each semester felt like torture, worried that I would fail something, then passing, graduating, and post grad licensing. Always something to worry about coming up, and worried about not being able to do a job that I was already doing, lol. I had a very helpful therapist ask me if I had a precedence for failure. Every time I started torturing myself with "Can I really do this? Will I be good enough?" I would run the new tape that reminded me that I work hard to ensure I will accomplish my goals, and if I'm not able to, I will be flexible and go at it another way. For some reason that really helped me. However, a good antidepressant/anti anxiety medicine along with new tapes for my thoughts, and life is much better.

[Sigh 194]

My daughter and I had a discussion about negative attitude/self sabotage, and she found something on TikTok (hey, she’s 14) that she loved:

”I just discovered ominous positivity and im obsessed. You will be fine, you have no choice. Everything will turn out okay and you cannot stop it. You will succeed it’s inevitable. Better days are already coming and its too late now.”

Sort of like learning to accept that the unknown IS GOING TO BE GOOD and that your hard work is going to make it good— so accept your fate and move on instead of worrying and self sabotaging. Start playing that loop instead of the “what ifs” and if you focus on the day by day moments to build to it— when you get there it will feel normal. And you will have the muscle memory built to enjoy it—and deal with anything that needs adjusted if needed.

I wish you the best, and know changing that inner monologue is hard— but with thought stopping and therapist, you will succeed!