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I swear I feel like I'm losing it....



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Still hurting. Actually looking forward to surgery on Wednesday. Also upset because I'm probably going to miss ALL of next week. Plus the 2 days I missed last week and I will only have 3 paid days on my check on the 15th.

Not only do I have bills to pay, that was supposed to cover Christmas. And not just the gifts, but the decorations, the dinner, cards, all of it. Now we'll have literally nothing.

And the pain meds don't do anything but knock me out. Once I wake up, I'm in pain again. Time to take my meds and pass out. I'm so over it all....

Oh, before I forget!!! Let's not leave out that I'm basically back on my stage 1 bariatric diet because when I try to eat regular food, it KILLS my hernia (it's a delayed reaction, so I'm guessing it's happening as it makes its way down my colon, or to my bowels, or wherever it goes). That was ok yesterday, but today....nope.

But TODAY!!! Oh TODAY has been a joy because now even liquids and YOGURT and Jello hurt. And I have had absolutely ZERO appetite since yesterday around lunch time. I can't just not eat, but I have no hunger feelings, and when I remember to eat, I don't want to because it hurts so much. I don't know what else to do, but I feel like I'm losing it over here. I'm so so over all of this. I've never had a hernia before. Is this normal? Because I feel like I'm about to lose my mind. I walk hunched over, trying to roll over in my sleep causes me to cry out and wake up my husband, and don't get me started on coughing or sneezing or pooing. The early stages of both my bariatric surgeries COMBINED didn't make me this miserable.

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I've never had a hernia but it sounds horrible. I hope you feel better soon!

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Wednesday can't come soon enough. I hope you get some relief .

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I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope it resolves quickly after the surgery. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to stress over the holiday stuff. Do you have kids? If so, this may just be the year to have a talk about what really matters in life, like family and good health, and give yourself permission to scale down the decorations and the dinner, and delay presents until a better time. It's okay not to be perfect all the time. And it's okay to find a totally new way of marking the holiday that doesn't cause you stress. It's okay to opt out for a year and try again next time. You've got a lot to deal with already. Sending hugs.

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Goodness, I haven't been on here in quite some time. But I am sad to see you are still have difficulties and complications! I am thinking of you and I hope you get some relief very soon!

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Goodness, I haven't been on here in quite some time. But I am sad to see you are still have difficulties and complications! I am thinking of you and I hope you get some relief very soon!

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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