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Discouraged after Surgery



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I am almost 6 weeks PO and I have only lost 20lbs. I am in my local support group for my surgeons office and others have lost more then me and are only like 3-4 weeks PO. My husband also had the surgery 3 months before I did and he had lost 30-35 lbs by this point. I am doing everything right and not sure what to do, it is really putting a tole on my mental health. I struggled before which is obviously why I had the surgery, but I expected it to not be as hard after the surgery!

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you've lost more than I did at that point, and I started out much heavier than you.

there are many factors that determine your rate of weight loss, most of which you have little to no control over - age, gender, starting BMI, genetics, metabolic rate, how muscular you are, if and how much weight you lost prior to surgery, etc. The only two things you have a lot of control over are how closely you stick to your plan and how active you are. If you do well with those, you WILL lose the weight, whether fast or slow.

I was a slow loser throughout my entire journey, and I ended up losing 100% of my excess weight, over 200 lbs.

honestly, except for people the size of those on "My 600 lb Life", most of us lose somewhere in the 15-25 lb range the first month after surgery. Since you've lost 20 lbs in six weeks, you were likely in that range at the end of month #1. You'll always find some who lose above or below that range, but they're outliers. Your amount of loss is completely normal (and also, men tend to lose faster than women - hence, your husband...)

Edited by catwoman7

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17 minutes ago, catwoman7 said:

you've lost more than I did at that point, and I started out much heavier than you.

there are many factors that determine your rate of weight loss, most of which you have little to no control over - age, gender, starting BMI, genetics, metabolic rate, how muscular you are, if and how much weight you lost prior to surgery, etc. The only two things you have a lot of control over are how closely you stick to your plan and how active you are. If you do well with those, you WILL lose the weight, whether fast or slow.

I was a slow loser throughout my entire journey, and I ended up losing 100% of my excess weight, over 200 lbs.

honestly, except for people the size of those on "My 600 lb Life", most of us lose somewhere in the 15-25 lb range the first month after surgery. Since you've lost 20 lbs in six weeks, you were likely in that range at the end of month #1. You'll always find some who lose above or below that range, but they're outliers. Your amount of loss is completely normal (and also, men tend to lose faster than women - hence, your husband...)

Thank you! My support group I'm in is much smaller so it's nice to have this one so I can hear from others. I do feel great so that is a win in itself! I know men lose faster so I try so hard not to compare to him but dang is it hard lol.

Thanks again!! 😊

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20 lbs is great for 6 weeks considering there may have been a stall of 3 weeks or so. So more or less you must have lost 20 lbs in about 3 to 4 weeks. And 20 lbs is a good chunk for the duration!

And yes comparison to anyone else isn't going to do you any good. In the end, you won't ever lose the same amount as any xyz. You'll have to be happy with your progress and the weight your body decides to stabilize at as long as you did all you could and stuck to your weight loss plan!

P.S - Just saw your BMI. Seems like your starting BMI wasn't that high to begin with. Higher the BMI, more the weight loss generally speaking!

Edited by DaisyAndSunshine

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2-5 lbs per week is normal…so you are very normal and doing well!

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First rule of weight loss: don’t compare yourself to anyone else. We’re all too different: age, starting weight, medical status, weight loss & gain history, mobility, gender, genetics, … As everyone has said you’re pretty much on track. We lose our weight at the rate that’s best for us & it has no impact on whether we lose our weight or not. It just may take longer if you are are slower loser & there’s nothing wrong with that. Stick to your plan, make the best choices you can & you’ll lose weight.

All the best.

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This is a marathon, not a race. Just keep on it and don't get discouraged.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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