I need to complain

[LindsayT 563]

I feel so alone in this journey rn. I'm struggling so much. Did I do the right thing?

[Jonathan Carlson 67]

Why do you feel alone? Did you tell your family and friends you got the surgery? My family and friends have been very supportive. Everyone's very encouraging.

[LindsayT 563]

9 minutes ago, Jonathan Carlson said:

Why do you feel alone? Did you tell your family and friends you got the surgery? My family and friends have been very supportive. Everyone's very encouraging.

Everyone knows. I just don't think they know how to respond. Especially my husband.

[Arabesque 6,583]

I’m sorry you’re feeling so isolated through this. Have you spoken to your husband about how you feel? Maybe he’s feeling uncertain about what your needs may be & how to support you? He may worry you’ll become a different person when you lose all your weight? Same with other family members & friends.

It can be confusing for others because they don’t understand (they haven’t experienced this either) & they don’t want to upset you or appear to be too nosy. I only told one of my brothers & his wife (I knew the other would be critical). They rarely said anything to me except if we were eating together they’d just check I could eat what they were preparing or if I had special needs. My mother, who I spend weekends with every couple of weeks, got upset at one point saying she didn’t know what I ate or needed to eat & was worried she’d get the wrong food in when I stayed with her.

Wonder if you speaking with a therapist will help you have conversations with your husband, etc. about your feelings & also give you the opportunity to talk things out in a non judgemental environment.

[SpartanMaker 676]

As always, @Arabesque is spot on.

I see that you are are only a few days post-surgery, so the one thing I'd add is that everything you're feeling is 100% NORMAL at this point. We all start second-guessing our decision early on because having WLS is HARD! How you eat, how you feel and how you look is radically changing every day. It's physically and emotionally challenging. The good news is it gets easier as you progress.

I told my wife she only had one job post-surgery. When (not if), I started doubting my decision, she needed to remind me of all the reasons I decided to have the surgery in the first place. I tell you this because I feel like you may need a similar reminder right now. You know your own reasons for taking this journey.

It's easy at this point to think the challenges you're going through are not worth the hoped for end goal, but they are. Remember that it WILL get easier over time and you can absolutely reach those goals you set for yourself. Right now, it's all new and confusing and frankly most of us worry this is how life will be forever. It's not. You will make it past this, just like the rest of us did.

[Jeanniebug 473]

If it wasn't the right thing to do, your doctor wouldn't've allowed it. Remember your reasons for wanting the surgery.

Life can be kind of hard for the first couple/few months after surgery. Thankfully, the time went pretty quickly for me.

You're tired, you're sore, your body is freaking out and super stressed. This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it WILL pass.

[Fred in Pa 233]

It’s a normal phase…

Change is difficult, and your body has gone through physical change and mental change.

Give it time to adjust to the new ways.

I am 10 weeks out and still have psychological hurdles that I am dealing with myself.

[LindsayT 563]

Thanks, everyone. It's so hard right now but it's nice to know it's part of the process and me not flying off the rails.

[qtdoll 534]

The early stages are truly the hardest part, a million changes happen all at once & it's a lot to handle. Just remember it will get better soon, you will fall in love with your results & wonder why you didn't do this sooner!

[dIsLosingIt 6]

On 5/10/2023 at 1:33 PM, Jeanniebug said:

If it wasn't the right thing to do, your doctor wouldn't've allowed it. Remember your reasons for wanting the surgery.

Life can be kind of hard for the first couple/few months after surgery. Thankfully, the time went pretty quickly for me.

You're tired, you're sore, your body is freaking out and super stressed. This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it WILL pass.

might pass like a kidney stone..LOL.

[dIsLosingIt 6]

21 hours ago, LindsayT said:

Thanks, everyone. It's so hard right now but it's nice to know it's part of the process and me not flying off the rails.

I hear ya. I am struggling with the pre-op diet and feel a bit overwhelmed with the upcoming changes. I had my last pre-op appointment today and was told my hospital stay may be more than 2 days and it freaked me out since I had my stay planned. But I understand their reasoning behind the additional hospital stays.

[LindsayT 563]

4 minutes ago, dIsLosingIt said:

I hear ya. I am struggling with the pre-op diet and feel a bit overwhelmed with the upcoming changes. I had my last pre-op appointment today and was told my hospital stay may be more than 2 days and it freaked me out since I had my stay planned. But I understand their reasoning behind the additional hospital stays.

I'm learning this is a go with the flow journey.

[CarolineLittle 92]

I've been approved to go home, just needs meds from pharmacy brought up so in a couple hours. Had a really good night's sleep. I was so tired. Hope everyone is recovering well. I feel pretty good but also a bit overwhelmed with my life changed. I think it's the unknown and not knowing how the coming weeks and months will pan out with how much I can est, what can I eat, enough Protein etc. One day at a time I guess.

[Tomo 1,151]

Everyone knows. I just don't think they know how to respond. Especially my husband.

Maybe write about it and try to determine what your expectations are of them. See if they are truly valid. Sometimes when I am feeling that way, often it isn't them but myself. That I'm going through something. You just had major surgery. Remember, this surgery was for you. Their lives are basically the same. Sometimes having expectations without articulating what one wants from them... etc. can lead to resentment too. So try to talk to them about it if your expectations are valid.

Hugs. We're all here. In the past I stopped coming in here after surgery. It was a mistake. This time around I make sure I take time to read what others are writing. It helps a lot because many of us have gone through something similar.