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I think I am failing and I am so scared!! Any advice please!!



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I had my surgery Feb. 28, so it's almost been two months. A week after surgery my weight was 212 and i have barely moved since. At first, I thought I was holding weight because I hadn't had a regular bowel movement. Nope, not the problem. Then I thought it was because I started eating too heavy too soon; which was definitely part of the case because I had gained four pounds, almost five pounds back. But then I got back on track and lost the five pounds, plus two extra. But since then, for about the past two, almost three weeks, my weight has been sitting between 209 and 211. I've stayed on track and have been sticking to low carb, high Protein meals. Any Snacks I have are sugar free and so are the drinks; either sugar free or low sugar. I haven't gone off track until last night for Easter. I had a small plate of food within my limits, but ate a dessert that was high in sugar. I know it's bad that I had sugar at all, but I am proud of the self control I did have with not over eating/eating too much. I listened to my new stomach and stopped when I felt myself getting full; which is something I am still getting used to and figuring out. I have been struggling financially, unexpectedly, after having the surgery so I haven't been able to meal prep and buy all the foods and snacks I need to stay on track and not give in to temptations. And seeing as how I don't know when this financial struggle is going to get better, I don't know what to do about staying up on nutrition. Besides Easter, I've found it easier to barely eat anything at all, than to risk eating badly again. I am supposed to be eating 4-6 small meals a day to make sure I'm getting nutrients and Proteins in, but it's more like I eat 2, MAYBE three times a day, high protein meals, just to get close to protein goals. Even though I am proud of the little restraint i had, I am still ashamed that I ate badly in the first place and that I wasn't strong enough to fight cravings. Which is definitely still a real thing after surgery.

But I am really scared and concerned that I caused my surgery to fail because of the first time I went off track. Did I? I think I am in a stall. Is it possible to stall this early? What do I do?

By going off track did I cause my sleeve not to work anymore? If not, how do I get back to dropping the weight like before? I know the "honeymoon phase" of dropping weight goes on for about a year to a year and a half, but did I cut it short by not staying on track and eating things I shouldn't have. I really need to know and I really need some guidance. My doctor's office is really busy and they haven't been the best getting back to me unless I have an appointment.

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Gosh I don’t have any answers for you just want to say don’t be so hard on yourself and get back and track and stay on track.

I’m surprised to know it’s possible to even overeat so soon after surgery.

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6 minutes ago, Krasavitza said:

Gosh I don’t have any answers for you just want to say don’t be so hard on yourself and get back and track and stay on track.

I’m surprised to know it’s possible to even overeat so soon after surgery.

By overeat, I mean eat even when I know I'm full. Probably like two or three more bites, but I still definitely get full after a few ounces. If that's not considered overeating, then I'll go ahead and delete that section.

Thank you for your support.

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So your plan must allow you to eat regular food son after the surgery? I know everyone's plan is different. We had to do Protein Drinks until you were starving, then added easily digested food like cottage cheese. I lose very slowly but staying on the Liquid Protein drink for 3 weeks allowed me to drop 15 pounds the first 3 weeks. I think psychologically it helped more than anything!

I think you are doing the right thing by adding Protein, stick with the 4 ounces, add some vegs, we were told carbs twice a week. I like that you can have them, just not everyday. If I'm told I can't have something at all, I rebel and want it twice as bad.

I was amazed at how much I could eat after surgery. Once I was able to add popcorn, which was months down the road, I could eat 3/4 to a full bag! At the same time I'm, reading about people who were 6 months out and couldn't barely take 3 bites and wanted to throw up! I remember thinking mine must be a failure. But I'm a year out, had surgery 2/23/22 and have lost 60 pounds. Stick with it, keep the carbs low or out of there and it will happen. I know sometimes I question if I'm always over eating because like you said, you take one extra bite and you do feel over full. What works for me is meditation, if I can do it everyday the practice of mindful eating is easier to do. I try to always leave something on the plate and stop eating before I'm to full. I suspect this will be a lifetime battle.

Hang in there! Your body is still adjusting after surgery and going thru a lot of changes. You may drop several pounds at a time, then stall out, then drop some more. Thats what my weird body did.

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if you're sticking to your clinic's food plan, then it's a stall. Most of us do experience our first one sometime within the first month or so after surgery, so no, it's not too early.

HOWEVER, if you are eating too much, then you need to get back on track. It'll never be easier to lose weight than it will these next few months. This is the opportunity of a lifetime to lose a huge amount of weight, so you don't want to blow it.

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I think your body is really confused. You had major surgery and probably didn’t eat much the first couple weeks, then started eating heavier than you should and sugar as well. The body probably latched into the sugar and carbs to replenish stores and turned the rest to fat (explains the gain). Then you go back on track and your body needs to adjust again, but after losing some pounds you’re eating less often (so your metabolism machine is slower) and still having sugar even if it’s a small amount. Your body is really smart. After going through trauma, it’s going to try to stabilize.

Here’s what I do know… you still have time to get yourself back on the right path. You will need all your fluids (sugar free), the Protein prescribed by your plan, very low carbs and all of your Vitamins. If you don’t at least do these things, you’ll probably remain frustrated and stuck. It’ll take a jolt and consistency to recover.

I believe you can do it because you already got this far. Dealing with our emotions and food is not easy, but it is possible. I’m pretty sure everyone here would pat you on the back and tell you to get back in the ring, don’t be so hard on yourself and stay focused. You’ve still got time to turn it around! You can do this. Sending you all kinds of encouragement! 🌈😊

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I was a slow loser

I had my surgery in March of 2020. I could eat what ever I wanted to right after surgery. Which confused me. Don't freak out. I thought right after surgery I would lose all this weight and My medical issues would just go away. I was wrong. My first year I only lost about 50 pounds. It wasn't until I got my mindset on point was when more weight would come off

Trust me your stomach is about the size of your fist. Just try and get your Protein in first. Don't obsess over everything. It will hurt you mentally. So Water protein and veggies. And walking 🚶‍♂️

My doctor's off was no help for me actually i really never had any follow-up with them which bummed me out. But I just kept doing my thing.

Don't be hard on yourself. Everyone is different. I would try not to do the Snacks, even the sugar free ones. And watching the carbs, your body need the good carbs.

It wasn't until I was way past the 6 month mark that more weight started to come off. I used to get upset when I saw/heard/read about people who lost 100 in 6 months. Crazy. I was too hard on myself and that was also part of my problem. I started at 250 and really it wasn't until I was well into a year when more weight would start to come ff

But that was me. So. Protein water and movement. There is is book out there Bariatric Mindset. I know your not a few months in. Please do not start to get upset. You will be surprised how your bodies react to stuff. You have to have a better understanding/relationship with food. It took me a long time to finally get it. It took years to get where you started at it will take time to get to where your going.

Yes you should be losing a bit more than what you said. Be honest with yourself and really be accountable for what you choose to eat. No you won't stretch you new stomach out. It's all about better choices now.

Read read read and get your water protein in first.

You can do this. We are so hard on ourselves. Please don't be. As long as you don't have any pain. Just keep moving along. It will happen. Be honest with yourself and maybe start logging your food. You would be surprised at what you see.

Like I said I started at 250 pounds and 3 years later I sit between 130-140

We are all different. Much love to you on your journey you can do this.

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21 hours ago, KDeeB said:

By overeat, I mean eat even when I know I'm full. Probably like two or three more bites, but I still definitely get full after a few ounces. If that's not considered overeating, then I'll go ahead and delete that section.

Thank you for your support.

If you eat after being full, and you know, have you thought about talking to a therapist the specializes in this kind of thing. A lot of people need a little help in that area.

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To add to the great advice above:

It takes time for your messages that your full (or hungry) to get through. This is why we’re told to eat slowly. By the time you feel full you likely have eaten too much. You will find too that many of those old signals are different too. Try not to eat until you are full but until you’ve had enough which requires you to think about your eating & how you feel. When you have those extra bites are you eating them because you need them or because you want them?

This is a time of learning. About healthier more nutritious foods. About why you eat, how & what you eat & when you eat. It’s about establishing new eating habits & so on.

Focus on eating your Protein first, then if you’re able vegetables & finally again if you are able any complex whole/multi grain carbs as you’re allowed. Check your portion size recommendations & calories (if given them). I often only ate my protein & then if I could eat vegetables it would be a green bean or a small cauliflower floret & nothing else.

Your weight loss will be erratic: stalls, normal fluctuations, diarrhoea/constipation, hormonal fluctuations, etc. and yes some people just lose more slowly.

Have a chat with your surgeon, dietician & a therapist to help you work thorough all this.

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I had my surgery 2/22/23. I am going through the same exact thing!! I am down 25lbs and the scale hasn’t moved in 2 weeks. It is extremely frustrating thinking I am doing something wrong. I am hoping this is just a stall and the weight will start coming off again. Good Luck!

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13 hours ago, smanzi40 said:

I had my surgery 2/22/23. I am going through the same exact thing!! I am down 25lbs and the scale hasn’t moved in 2 weeks. It is extremely frustrating thinking I am doing something wrong. I am hoping this is just a stall and the weight will start coming off again. Good Luck!

if you're following your clinic's plan, then it's just a stall.

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How is your calorie intake looking? I can't imagine you're able to eat too much early on but are you eating calorie dense foods?

But this is most likley a stall. You absolutely want to stick to your plan from here on out as you will break it as long as you're staying commited. Remember, calories in, calories out will ALWAYS be true!

& no, you did not ruin your surgery! A few off days will not cause you to stop losing forever. Just get back on track & take advantage of this honeymoon stage. Stay consistent!

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I had my surgery on 2/22/23 as well. I’m stuck at 29 lbs weight loss. I had a stall at 3 weeks and another stall at 6 weeks. It seems like I’m having stalls every 3 weeks. I’m starting to feel a little frustrated. I was considering trying to do the liquid diet for the next week to see what happens

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15 hours ago, janelleyp said:

I had my surgery on 2/22/23 as well. I’m stuck at 29 lbs weight loss. I had a stall at 3 weeks and another stall at 6 weeks. It seems like I’m having stalls every 3 weeks. I’m starting to feel a little frustrated. I was considering trying to do the liquid diet for the next week to see what happens

Stalls are an expected & important part of your weight loss. Some people just experience fir longer periods & more regularly. They occur in reaction to the stress you’re putting your body under (weight loss, reduced calorie intake, increased activity levels, etc.). During a stall your body takes stock of your new current situation & then readjust various hormones & your metabolism to meet your new needs. Stick to your plan. Don’t stress your body more (like by going back to the liquid diet). The stall will break when your body is ready.

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You mention that you're struggling financially to buy healthy groceries, so apply for food stamps if you can. With that said, bc your stomach is smaller and you're eating less calories, you can make more expensive nutrient dense foods last longer/more meals. It says you live in CA, so try Food 4 Less, the 99 cent stores, Aldi's and Trader Joe's, they all have good prices.

You don't mention your age or height or level of activity or the amount of fluids you're drinking, but here's my experience: I'm 5'4 (female) and 35 years old. I had surgery on 1/11/23. started at 252 and I'm now 211.... 42 lbs down and down 6 inches on my waist.

Fluids: at LEAST 32oz + 12oz Protein Shake, so 44... I try so hard to drink more Water but cold & room temp liquids make me super nauseous since the surgery.

Activity: Since and including the day after surgery I've strived to walk a MINIMUM of 5,000 steps a day. I live in a tiny apartment, and for the first 3 weeks after surgery I was still able to hit this goal simply by walking back and forth in my small apt for 5-10 minutes every hour. For the past 3-4 weeks, I've made it a priority to go to the gym and do cardio for 30-60 minutes 3-4/week. Some days I don't have time but will still force myself to do at least 10 minutes of incline walking on the treadmill. If you can't afford a gym, go walking, preferably somewhere with hills or stairs. (Walking flat is great but it doesn't get your heart rate up high enough). If you can't find/drive to hills, throw a backpack on and load it up with books (or weights) to add weight to your flat walks.

Diet: 800-1300 calories (the 1300 end is if I workout really hard and my body needs to refuel) .. I am LAZY (I like cooking but hate dishes), but also a busy non-traditional college student with lots to do. So simple, quick, easy foods have been essential to my success thus far. I'm still basically eating the same as I was when I was on the soft foods diet but now I eat chicken and beef here and there. My go to food staples are: Cottage cheese 1%, OWYN - elite pro 32g Protein shake, Simple Mills Almond flour crackers, soft/hard boiled eggs, small omelet, whole grain toast with avocado on it, refried Beans, homemade turkey chili with beans, shrimp, turkey bacon, Sargento reduced fat string cheese (it had the lowest fat compared to the other string cheeses in my store). Example of my day: Every morning I have either 1-2 eggs, or 1/2 cup-1 cup of cottage cheese, then mid-morning/lunch I have the protein shake, then lunch/mid-afternoon I have 2-3 string cheese sticks, then for mid-afternoon/dinner I either have cottage cheese again, or 1 slice toast with tuna or chicken salad (I use either mayo or avocado mashed up), or shrimp and avocado slices, or rotisserie chicken and carrots/brussels/string beans. After dinner if I'm still hungry I have crackers. If I'm hitting my protein and still hungry, then I know I need more dense carbs and I'll have 1/4 cup-1/2 cup of sweet potatoes/mashed potatoes, etc.

I don't snack anymore. I eat if I'm hungry. If I'm not hungry then I don't eat just to eat and have a snack bc I want to, that's what got me fat in the first place. If you're not physically hungry-don't eat. If you haven't already, learning the difference between physical hunger, thirst, and mental hunger/boredom/filling a void is essential to success.

On Easter I had like 8 snack-sized kit-kat bars as a meal lol... I'm not advising it, but I've still lost weight since then. Don't beat yourself up over 1 day or 1 meal, it's not gonna completely kill your progress. Just make sure it's not every day or even every week.

A lot of this journey is learning what YOUR body needs, not just what is written on a diet plan.

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