Just want a friend to talk to candidly

[JustJovi 7]

I have only told my husband and mother and very few close friends about my surgery.

I don't feel like I can really talk to anyone in depth about all of this excerpt for my husband who has been my Rock during all of this

I wish i has a group of gal-pals that i could bond with, either one line or in my area.

I basically don't have any real friends of my OWN (you know, friends that are more my friends than my husband's)

It's really hard because i want to relate to people around me and make a support system.

[mcipanda 121]

Hi there, welcome 🤗 I know how you feel. My youngest daughter caught me on Google searching for “woman in her 40’s with no friends.” I have acquaintances, but the friends in our lives are more my husband’s than mine. So I get it. That’s why I started coming here. I feel like this is a forum where you can vent, ask questions and commiserate with people who understand you and this decision. Not everyone agrees with WLS. Everyone here is on your side.

Feel free to jump in, ask questions and make new friends. Especially if there are folks having the procedure around the same time as you. I love chatting with my March 13th buddies Hope you’ll stick around and support us so we can support you!

[Arabesque 7,615]

I was fortunate as I had a friend who had undergone the surgery & then another did it the next year. Their friendship & support was very helpful. I also made some lovely friends through this forum too. We’re of a similar age, share interests, had our initial surgery within a couple of years of each other.We chat & share what’s happening in our lives (& not just weight related) via our own private group chat now & there is another with whom I email. So you never know who you may meet & click with here.

[qtdoll 536]

I totally understand how you feel. Only my parents & brother know & I haven't told anykne else about my surgery. I've relied on places like this site, tiktok & YouTube comments to talk about it. Granted it's not the same as having real life friends but having this place as an outlet helps A LOT. I hope we're able to help somewhat 💜

[summerseeker 2,415]

This is a friendly, kind, safe and helpful place. We are all really glad that we found it. I have found great help here and hope I pass some forward too.

I do not know anyone personally who has had this surgery done. I did not tell anyone but my son and husband initially. Women can be really bitchy and I did not need the uneducated backlash.

Now that I have lost all this weight, I am more mobile and can get out and about. I have started to grow my circle of friends. I volunteer at a charity shop one day a week, its great fun and I love it. Its great to look forwards to some thing again instead of being almost housebound

[Sigh 199]

I can so relate. I am 52, divorced and single mom of 18 year old son and 13 year old daughter. I also work from home most of the time, so it’s hard to make new friends. All of my close friends live several states away, and my life revolves around my kids activities, work and helping my aging parents. I have told NO one about my surgery— AT ALL. I was self pay in Mexico, and like many didn't want to hear the judgement about it. I did this for me, and no one else.

It’s worked well for me to come here for information and advice from people in similar situation, i hope it offers you an outlet as well.

[Jen1974 1]

I feel the same. No one to really talk to about how I’m feeling after 2 weeks post op. All these different feelings and how sometimes I want to give up, but know I can’t.

[JustJovi 7]

This is a friendly, kind, safe and helpful place. We are all really glad that we found it. I have found great help here and hope I pass some forward too.
I do not know anyone personally who has had this surgery done. I did not tell anyone but my son and husband initially. Women can be really bitchy and I did not need the uneducated backlash.
Now that I have lost all this weight, I am more mobile and can get out and about. I have started to grow my circle of friends. I volunteer at a charity shop one day a week, its great fun and I love it. Its great to look forwards to some thing again instead of being almost housebound

You're so right about woman being bitchy....it's why I keep most woman at arms length. I've had some really bad experiences

[JustJovi 7]

I feel the same. No one to really talk to about how I’m feeling after 2 weeks post op. All these different feelings and how sometimes I want to give up, but know I can’t.

You've got this, it gets easier trust me!

[JustJovi 7]

I can so relate. I am 52, divorced and single mom of 18 year old son and 13 year old daughter. I also work from home most of the time, so it’s hard to make new friends. All of my close friends live several states away, and my life revolves around my kids activities, work and helping my aging parents. I have told NO one about my surgery— AT ALL. I was self pay in Mexico, and like many didn't want to hear the judgement about it. I did this for me, and no one else.
It’s worked well for me to come here for information and advice from people in similar situation, i hope it offers you an outlet as well.

That was really brave of you! I can only imagine how hard that mist have been with 2 kids to care for. Good for you [emoji122]

[JustJovi 7]

I totally understand how you feel. Only my parents & brother know & I haven't told anykne else about my surgery. I've relied on places like this site, tiktok & YouTube comments to talk about it. Granted it's not the same as having real life friends but having this place as an outlet helps A LOT. I hope we're able to help somewhat [emoji171]

Same here! I've used Instagram a lot for research when i was post op. I messaged some of the people buy rarely do they ever reply which sucked

[JustJovi 7]

I was fortunate as I had a friend who had undergone the surgery & then another did it the next year. Their friendship & support was very helpful. I also made some lovely friends through this forum too. We’re of a similar age, share interests, had our initial surgery within a couple of years of each other.We chat & share what’s happening in our lives (& not just weight related) via our own private group chat now & there is another with whom I email. So you never know who you may meet & click with here.

You're so lucky!! I know a few people who've had it done and spoke to 2 of them but they live out of state. It was definitely helpful to msg with them!

[JustJovi 7]

Hi there, welcome [emoji847] I know how you feel. My youngest daughter caught me on Google searching for “woman in her 40’s with no friends.” I have acquaintances, but the friends in our lives are more my husband’s than mine. So I get it. That’s why I started coming here. I feel like this is a forum where you can vent, ask questions and commiserate with people who understand you and this decision. Not everyone agrees with WLS. Everyone here is on your side.
Feel free to jump in, ask questions and make new friends. Especially if there are folks having the procedure around the same time as you. I love chatting with my March 13th buddies [emoji4] Hope you’ll stick around and support us so we can support you!

Lol at your daughter catching you .... My husband and i always talk about how hard it is to make friends as adults. And working from home doesn't help! I even tried an app called MeetUp which is like a tinder but for friends. You put the activities or hobbies your into and it tells you who else in your area is into that and they have any hang outs planned

[Sigh 199]

8 hours ago, JustJovi said:

That was really brave of you! I can only imagine how hard that mist have been with 2 kids to care for. Good for you

Eh, I operate fairly independently. Not sure id call it brave or just taking matters into my own hands. Insurance would cover, but I was borderline and was told not to lose any weight while i went thru process of 3-4 months to get approved. I said screw that and went to Mexico three weeks later for the same price as my out of pocket would have been. I could NOT carry that weight any longer.

Plus, the kids can pretty much care for themselves- I dont have to actually carry anyone like i did after breast reduction after my second kid. The ex husband was pretty useless to help back then, so I see doing it alone as an improvement. No one to complain about it or worry with wringing hands over nothing .

Plus, I hate to say it but my body is invisible to the kids- they are too worried about themselves- as teens do.

[Sigh 199]

8 hours ago, JustJovi said:

Lol at your daughter catching you .... My husband and i always talk about how hard it is to make friends as adults. And working from home doesn't help! I even tried an app called MeetUp which is like a tinder but for friends. You put the activities or hobbies your into and it tells you who else in your area is into that and they have any hang outs planned

Ps- I saw that Bumble has a “make friends” feature too— but I haven’t tried it yet. Prior to Covid I’d been trying some meet ups, but then that all stopped. Now, I just work and volunteer for my kids activities. I Definitely need to branch out some.