Comments on your body

[qtdoll 534]

I have not seen any family other than my mom, dad & brother since my surgery. Luckily my neighbors are absolute angels & said such nice things to me

But I am TERRIFIED of seeing the rest of my family. They are kind but are very blunt. I told my parents to not tell them about my surgery & I worry they'll slip up bc my family is the type to want to know all most intrusive things.

But even without them knowing about the surgery I know they'll want every detail. "high Protein calorie deficit" is all I'll say, since that is in fact also true!

[kcuster83 1,502]

You all make great points. I can easily ignore and move past people's comments, but at that very moment when it happens it annoys me. haha

Also, you all reminded me of family and the holidays! UH OH!

I haven't seen most of my family in months! I have probably lost around 80 more LBS since the last time I saw them. So, Christmas will be interesting. My entire family is obese, most of them severely obese. So everyone ALWAYS comments on your weight loss. "What's your secret..blah blah blah" Really, just eating WAY less! \

Good luck to everyone through these trying times!

[It'sAlbright 22]

On 11/17/2022 at 4:59 AM, kcuster83 said:

Seriously, what is with people of this world.

Don't get me wrong, the noticed weight loss and compliments are nice.. to a point.

Over the weekend I was at my VFW for a Thanksgiving food drive dropping off some donations and while standing at the corner of the bar talking to a bar tender a guy(who knows me from there and sees me all the time) came up behind me and said "excuse me BIG GUY!" I turned around and said I am a woman. Seriously WTF? My hair was down and it's LONG, I was wearing leggings and a hoodie... I know it was an accident but why "BIG" guy? He apologized and I just went about my day.

Then I had someone close to me THE VERY NEXT DAY grab my hip and tell me I need to stop loosing weight, I am getting bony. Again, W.T.F? First off I weigh 260 lbs... not even close to where I want to be... and someone already said I am bony? RUDE! I am 6ft tall so even at 260 lbs I do realize I look bony in areas but I am seriously still chubby and FAR from "bony"!

Then just yesterday at work, I was helping this guy understand a engineered drawing and in the middle of me explaining he says "Man Kim you are really slimming down"... Now, had he just stopped there it would have been fine but he goes on to say "I don't know how much you used to weigh but you have lost a lot so it must have been a lot".. ONCE AGAIN!... W...T...F?!?!? I know he meant it as a compliment, but seriously...what kind of compliment ends with you must have weighed a lot? I just said yea I was pretty fat and went back to what I was doing. lol

Why can't people just leave it alone, stop commenting on people's bodies. Or, just simply say you are looking good. Or something basic and simple like such?

Again, the compliments are nice and build confidence but I think people need to understand what classifies as a compliment and when they actually crossed the line to rude.

Rant over...thanks. 😁

This! The other day someone guy (who I am not too close with) said "wow, you're looking great, looks like the surgery is working." I wanted to slap him in the face lol. The surgery yes it helped but I am still constantly doing the work. The way he said it made it seem like I took an "easy way out" or something. Often times it's just better to keep your thoughts to yourself.

I am sorry you had to go through this.

[hills&valleys 130]

On 11/17/2022 at 11:18 AM, summerseeker said:

Is thin shaming as bad as fat shaming? oh yes. These are our bodies, we have done the work and when we say we are done, we are done with loosing. No-one else should have any input.

I always believe in this - If you cannot say anything good then keep your trap shut

I received more frequent offensive comments during my thin years than my heavy years. A woman doesn't appreciate being told if she stands sideways and sticks out her tongue, she would look like a zipper! People feel it is okay to publicly poke fun at thin people but they generally only criticize heavy people privately. Neither is acceptable.

[Smanky 743]

Coming back to this topic, because now I've started getting the "don't lose any more weight!" and "you're not going to lose any more are you?" comments from people. Super awesome. They never would have dared say "you need to lose weight!" when I was morbidly obese, but now that I'm a normal BMI (not underweight - normal) suddenly it's ok to comment. 😑

I know there's a bunch of factors going on there, it's a rich tapestry of psychology to unpack etc etc, but it's interesting to see how you escape one type of social scrutiny only to wander into a different one.