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I feel guilty eating



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I’m 5 1/2 weeks post op and really have no problem with any food I’ve tried. I’m able to get in my low Protein requirement and stay well below my calorie requirement. I try to bump that up so I’m hitting the low end of my goal, but I am just not able to. However, doing all of this now that I can actually eat real food again is leaving me feeling extremely guilty, as if I’m just gorging. In my mind, I know I’m not, I’m eating well within my plan, but I feel so gross like I used to before surgery when I’d eat crap. On top of this, I’ve hit my first plateau and have only lost 1lb in 2 weeks, which makes me feel even worse. Anyone else feel this horrible guilt? How did you work past it?

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I’m 5 1/2 weeks post op and really have no problem with any food I’ve tried. I’m able to get in my low Protein requirement and stay well below my calorie requirement. I try to bump that up so I’m hitting the low end of my goal, but I am just not able to. However, doing all of this now that I can actually eat real food again is leaving me feeling extremely guilty, as if I’m just gorging. In my mind, I know I’m not, I’m eating well within my plan, but I feel so gross like I used to before surgery when I’d eat crap. On top of this, I’ve hit my first plateau and have only lost 1lb in 2 weeks, which makes me feel even worse. Anyone else feel this horrible guilt? How did you work past it?

I'm actually 5½ weeks post op as well! I think the plateau is what is actually making you feel guilty about eating food. I hit a plateau at my 2nd week and it lasted 2 weeks and I was going crazy because I wasn't eating AND I wasn't losing weight.
My doctor told me this is all normal and everyone goes through it. Just be patient, stick to your plan and you will start losing again.

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5 hours ago, Cpach81 said:

I’m 5 1/2 weeks post op and really have no problem with any food I’ve tried. I’m able to get in my low Protein requirement and stay well below my calorie requirement. I try to bump that up so I’m hitting the low end of my goal, but I am just not able to. However, doing all of this now that I can actually eat real food again is leaving me feeling extremely guilty, as if I’m just gorging. In my mind, I know I’m not, I’m eating well within my plan, but I feel so gross like I used to before surgery when I’d eat crap. On top of this, I’ve hit my first plateau and have only lost 1lb in 2 weeks, which makes me feel even worse. Anyone else feel this horrible guilt? How did you work past it?

I don't have any real insight to offer you, but to say if you aren't already, perhaps it would be beneficial for you to see a counsellor or therapist who has had experience with overweight/obese people as well as bariatric/weight loss procedures.

A lot of people think that after weight loss surgery they will lose lots of pounds/kilos every week until they goal weight, however, just like weight loss for people who haven't had weight loss surgery, weight loss can be ad hoc, they experience stalls (even in the early stages), there are gains,weight loss slows down, etc. You are likely experiencing a typical weight loss stall,...it can be a week or even more before weight loss kicks back in. Problem is we put so much focus on the goal of scale weight loss that we forget about all the non scale achievements that we experience. Improved fitness, reduced cholesterol, reduced blood pressure, better sleep, better quality time with friends and family, etc etc etc.

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It my very non-professional opinion, this may be a sign of an eating disorder? I'm with @Hop_Scotch, you should probably talk with a therapist.

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I would definitely consider talking to a therapist. But also, eating too little will prevent you from losing as quickly. So you might want to start upping your food a little.

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Are you taking your measurements? That might be a better indicator.

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Ok, I can speak on this since I literally went through this exact thing. First of all, you are in a stall. The first one usually hits around 3 weeks, but it can be a little earlier (like it was for me) or a little later. Keep eating what's in the plan, no more and no less, and get your walking in (maybe look into getting some ankle and wrist weights).

That leads me to my 2nd point. Look for non scale victories. Anytime I hit a stall, I started trying on clothes and rings and looking at my neck and face and chin. The scale may not be moving, but that doesn't mean things aren't happening. The first time I was able to sit in a booth and there was space between my stomach and the table, I was elated. When my clothes were literally falling off me and my ring came off twice, I was ecstatic. Just because the scale is being stubborn doesn't mean progress isn't being made.

Third, you have to eat. This will sound crazy, but if you restrict too much, your body will think it's starving and it will hold on to every little bit of weight it can. My dietician wanted me to stay at 700-800 calories per day, 50 or less carbs, 50 or less fats, and 60-80g Protein. My body didn't like that at all. Not one bit. I hit stall after stall, would drop maybe 1 or 2 pounds, then nothing. I started experimenting and found that between 1050 - 1200 calories per day, 25-35 carbs per day, 70-90 fats per day, and 90-95g protein per day was where my body was happiest. I work out for 45 min - 1 hour 5 days per week. And then I started seeing MUCH better results, both on and off the scale. Now, I'm not saying that works for everyone, and those amounts are specific to MY body, and my body alone. But at about 3 1/2 months post op, I knew I had to do something. You body NEEDS food. It's like depriving your car of gas and then being surprised it won't go. Same thing.

Lastly, I was in such a disordered way of thinking and behaving that I HAD to go to therapy. I'm still in it, actually. I had myself working out 2 hours per day every single day, living on flavored water, 300-400 calories per day, 10-15 carbs per day, almost no fats at all, and 40 or so grams of protein. And the less weight I lost, the harder I pushed my body and restricted what I gave it. I was so afraid of eating because I was convinced every bite would put all the weight back on. I was, at one point, eating 1 meal per day that I would make stretch all day and loading up on flavored Water to curb the hunger pains. It's scary to think about what I was doing to myself. Find a therapist that specializes in bariatric surgery, and if you can find one that also works with people with eating disorders, that's even better. That's what I did. I still struggle sometimes, but I remember how far I've come and how much healthier and stronger my body is, and it helps me push past the feelings of wanting to cut my food and load up on water again. But a therapist is really important right now. I waited until I was in the thick of it before I even posted about it here, and I was encouraged to find a therapist, which was the best thing I could have done. I swapped one disordered way of thinking for another. I'm making my way back from it, but I'm still a work in progress. You can do this. I wish you all the luck :)

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2 hours ago, Jeanniebug said:

Are you taking your measurements? That might be a better indicator.

No, but this is a great suggestion. I actually had a pair of jeans I kept for 5 years that I try on every week to see if I can get into them. Today, they fit! So, while my scale hasn’t moved, I know I’ve lost inches. Thanks for this idea!

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9 minutes ago, SleeveDiva2022 said:

Ok, I can speak on this since I literally went through this exact thing. First of all, you are in a stall. The first one usually hits around 3 weeks, but it can be a little earlier (like it was for me) or a little later. Keep eating what's in the plan, no more and no less, and get your walking in (maybe look into getting some ankle and wrist weights).

That leads me to my 2nd point. Look for non scale victories. Anytime I hit a stall, I started trying on clothes and rings and looking at my neck and face and chin. The scale may not be moving, but that doesn't mean things aren't happening. The first time I was able to sit in a booth and there was space between my stomach and the table, I was elated. When my clothes were literally falling off me and my ring came off twice, I was ecstatic. Just because the scale is being stubborn doesn't mean progress isn't being made.

Third, you have to eat. This will sound crazy, but if you restrict too much, your body will think it's starving and it will hold on to every little bit of weight it can. My dietician wanted me to stay at 700-800 calories per day, 50 or less carbs, 50 or less fats, and 60-80g Protein. My body didn't like that at all. Not one bit. I hit stall after stall, would drop maybe 1 or 2 pounds, then nothing. I started experimenting and found that between 1050 - 1200 calories per day, 25-35 carbs per day, 70-90 fats per day, and 90-95g Protein per day was where my body was happiest. I work out for 45 min - 1 hour 5 days per week. And then I started seeing MUCH better results, both on and off the scale. Now, I'm not saying that works for everyone, and those amounts are specific to MY body, and my body alone. But at about 3 1/2 months post op, I knew I had to do something. You body NEEDS food. It's like depriving your car of gas and then being surprised it won't go. Same thing.

Lastly, I was in such a disordered way of thinking and behaving that I HAD to go to therapy. I'm still in it, actually. I had myself working out 2 hours per day every single day, living on flavored water, 300-400 calories per day, 10-15 carbs per day, almost no fats at all, and 40 or so grams of protein. And the less weight I lost, the harder I pushed my body and restricted what I gave it. I was so afraid of eating because I was convinced every bite would put all the weight back on. I was, at one point, eating 1 meal per day that I would make stretch all day and loading up on flavored Water to curb the hunger pains. It's scary to think about what I was doing to myself. Find a therapist that specializes in bariatric surgery, and if you can find one that also works with people with eating disorders, that's even better. That's what I did. I still struggle sometimes, but I remember how far I've come and how much healthier and stronger my body is, and it helps me push past the feelings of wanting to cut my food and load up on Water again. But a therapist is really important right now. I waited until I was in the thick of it before I even posted about it here, and I was encouraged to find a therapist, which was the best thing I could have done. I swapped one disordered way of thinking for another. I'm making my way back from it, but I'm still a work in progress. You can do this. I wish you all the luck :)

Thank you so much, this is exactly the advice I was looking for! Someone that’s gone through the feelings and had a solid suggestion. I will most definitely look into a therapist that specializes in Bariatric weight loss. Hopefully my insurance covers it! I’ll also try to up my calories. Part of my problem, aside from the guilt, is trying to fit all that food in while also getting my fluids in. It seems impossible. My plan says eat or drink every hour you’re awake. That seems like so much but I know they say this for a reason. I guess I just need to try harder to do this and remember that it’s the right thing instead of feeling shame for eating so often. Thank you again!

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3 hours ago, Cpach81 said:

Thank you so much, this is exactly the advice I was looking for! Someone that’s gone through the feelings and had a solid suggestion. I will most definitely look into a therapist that specializes in Bariatric weight loss. Hopefully my insurance covers it! I’ll also try to up my calories. Part of my problem, aside from the guilt, is trying to fit all that food in while also getting my fluids in. It seems impossible. My plan says eat or drink every hour you’re awake. That seems like so much but I know they say this for a reason. I guess I just need to try harder to do this and remember that it’s the right thing instead of feeling shame for eating so often. Thank you again!

Every hour to eat seems excessive. I was told to drink every 30-45 minutes and eat a small meal every 3 hours 4-5x per day. Now I eat 3 small meals and a snack at night and I'm good. Also, at this stage you can also add a Protein Shake which will give you Protein to help with that goal, fluids for that goal, and some extra calories (not a lot, but like 110 or 130 or something). I can't stand plain Water, so I bought the water flavorings (Walmart has em) with no sugar and no calories or carbs, and let me tell you...they help SO much. I bought Propel flavored water and protein gatorade zero (no sugar but has protein in it). I also drink tea (sweetened and flavored with Jordan's skinny Syrup with no sugar, no calories, no carbs, delicious taste). I don't drink caffeine anymore, but when I was coming off it, I drank tea with caffeine. Now I just drink regular tea (or herbal tea, depending on my mood).

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20 hours ago, Cpach81 said:

Thank you so much, this is exactly the advice I was looking for! Someone that’s gone through the feelings and had a solid suggestion. I will most definitely look into a therapist that specializes in Bariatric weight loss. Hopefully my insurance covers it! I’ll also try to up my calories. Part of my problem, aside from the guilt, is trying to fit all that food in while also getting my fluids in. It seems impossible. My plan says eat or drink every hour you’re awake. That seems like so much but I know they say this for a reason. I guess I just need to try harder to do this and remember that it’s the right thing instead of feeling shame for eating so often. Thank you again!

I think the fluids seem like a chore for most of us in the beginning but whether this continues to be a challenge depends on how much we naturally drink. Which many people may not even really know if they drink 64 ounces cause who kept track before surgery. I drank crystal light for two months when I cut out soda pre surgery so I knew exactly how many pitchers I was making each day (before that I had no clue though and even still I didn’t know how many ounces was In the container).

I think if you naturally drink 64 or more ounces a day pre surgery you will eventually go back to that post surgery without many issues. I actually drink a lot more than that naturally and I am back to my pre surgery Amount. As you are able to drink more at a time you definitely shouldn’t have to drink every hour on the hour though to get in your fluids. I actually drink about a gallon a day now (as I did pre surgery) and I just drink when I am thirsty. It is sometimes once an hour but other times I go a few hours if I am busy. If you want to make sure you are meeting your quota for the day without having to track each glass though just put your fluids for the day into a 2 quart pitcher or a half gallon container and make sure you finish that each day. Of course if you are nowhere close then you may have to go back to tracking each glass but I found after about a month or so I was naturally back to drinking my pre surgery amount and I didn’t need to track anymore.

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      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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