It has been soooo long since I posted here, probably not since I was a few months post op back in 2016.
I am now 6 years post-op (July 26) and have found myself really really struggling. I have gained 15 lbs. I know that may not seem like a lot to some people but I feel like I have made it so far and damn, why is this starting. I mean I know why. I'm eating poorly, I am relying on my sleeve to trigger my full feelings but I am def eating whatever I want, dumping, and doing it again. I am going through a rough time emotionally and I have restarted therapy but man I am finding it hard to not to eat my feelings. And what I eat is what I call punishment or self hate food: anything fried, fettuccine Alfredo, pizza...etc. I'm just so in it right now and the weight gain is compounding it. I stopped working out because of the pandemic, my studio shut down...sorry feeling so sorry for myself but I am scared I will end up looking like I did 6 years ago and hating myself even more.

Hi Mel

I’m also 6 year post op and I, too, have gained 15 lbs.

Had an interesting conversation with a friend today who said the opposite of addiction is not sobriety, but connection.

Could that be true for you?

Are you missing some kind of connection in your life?

I think for me, it might be connection to my body. I tend to live in my head, and take my body for granted.

Hope you find a way through this dark time.

Take care of yourself.

Hi Mel

I’m also 6 year post op and I, too, have gained 15 lbs.

Had an interesting conversation with a friend today who said the opposite of addiction is not sobriety, but connection.

Could that be true for you?

Are you missing some kind of connection in your life?

I think for me, it might be connection to my body. I tend to live in my head, and take my body for granted.

Hope you find a way through this dark time.

Take care of yourself.

Thank you so much for this. I have been feeling so alone...[emoji3590]

I'm so sorry you're struggling, but you are absolutely not alone. We all pass through seasons of difficulty, deal with emotional upheaval, slip into old habits, face regain, etc. It sounds like you've identified it and are actively getting help, so be proud of yourself for taking those first steps!

Maybe focus on ONE habit you can re-establish to help get your back into alignment with your goals? Are you getting your water in everyday? How about your vitamins? Do you regularly hit your protein goal? Again, you don't need to do ALL of these things, pick just ONE and work on making it a habit. Then once your feel like you've got that under your belt, pick another one.

Small changes add up! You've got this!

I was thinking about your post and remembering how good it felt to hit this current weight when I was losing and how bad it feels to be at this weight when I've regained.

The weight, of course, is the same. But my perception of myself is very different.

I also need to connect with the person I was six years ago - what was I eating? what were the daily habits that supported the weight loss I was experiencing? how did doing those things affect my self-image?

Thanks for sharing your experience and for hearing mine.

Welcome back! It's always good to see WLS veterans here because most people drift away after the first few months. I saw a WLS YouTuber who made a video about regaining some weight; I think it was about 50 pounds over the course of 4 years. She pointed out that this sounds like a lot, but it's only about 1 pound per month, which you wouldn't even notice from one month to the next. It's a little scary to see how easy it is to regain what you worked so hard to lose.

Have you tried working out at home? I'm not, never have been, and never will be, one to go to a gym to work out. I do cardio every day at home with Leslie Sansone videos (free on YouTube), and strength training with a $50 set of resistance bands. As for the self-hate food... Are there any foods you enjoy eating that are not self-destructive? Maybe this is stupid, but perhaps if you get back to eating foods that are pleasurable to eat but don't make you feel terrible, you'll stop wanting those punishment foods.

Hi Mel, I have read your post a couple of times and although I don't have experience to share, because I'm still in my initial weight loss phase, I wanted to thank you for telling us how you are - It's really helpful to read about how people do in the long term.

You're right - 15lbs doesn't sound a lot at all because I presume you lost a stack of weight in 2016, but I totally get that you're not happy with that - I don't think I would be. The best thing is that not only have you called it at this point, you've come here where you will get loads of support and people with the same experience to help you! AND you've identified that it's your life stresses that are triggering it, so that's the first step to getting it sorted.

I've seen people here who regained and who did various things to try to lose again. Would it be possible to get some help with your life issues first because then the eating might be easier to tackle, rather than being another issue to beat yourself up about? Then could you go right back to your post-op diet for a while? Empty the house of all those 'punishment' foods and fill it up with protein-based snacks. I absolutely love deli meats - chicken or turkey or pastrami slices that are easy to grab when you're grazing, tins of tuna you can make into a salad really quickly and that will fill you up nice and quickly. High protein yoghurt, etc. Start drinking more water if that has slipped. Finally it sounds like you really need to find another gym - could you do that? Or as the others say, a home exercise regime? That has a double benefit in that it should lift your mood a bit too.

Do you have family or friends who you can talk to and who can support you? I don't mean nag, only you can decide it's time to switch things around again, but just to be there for you as you do it?

I know when you aren't feeling good it can seem impossible to change things, and it's easy for some random stranger on the internet to try to fix things 'for you'. It's not like that here though - people will all identify with your current position, lots have been there and lots of us will be in the future. It would be brilliant if you could let us know how you do. Maybe do just one thing differently this week and see how that goes.

All the very very best. 15lbs will be hard but it's totally doable isn't it? Your sleeve is still there and it will help you. So will we. xx

Edited July 30, 20224 yr by Spinoza
typos