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Why why why did I do this? Slow suicide.



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I am 3 weeks after surgery. Been fat always. Had the sleeve in 2016 and did well for a few years. The plan was to convert then to the bypass once my BMI was down but then the insurance company decided not to pay and it was a battle til now. I had it 3 weeks ago.
And this is so much worse than I could have ever imagined.
I realise now that they put me on anti nausea meds and took me off my antidepressants that I’d been on for about 8 years. Cold turkey. I am now a bitch who yells and snaps or cries. That’s it. I had a lot of pain post surgery and was in hospital 6 days not 3 - as with probably lots of us, I’m tolerant to pain meds so I am only now managing with plain paracetamol. But I feel nauseous all the time.
OK.. so it’s piteous.. but I really think that I’d be ok if I could stomach any Protein Powder at all. I just can’t. It’s all completely disgusting.
I’m in Europe not the US but I ordered over €200 of different products. All made me vomit. No taste ones, flavoured ones, ones in Soups etc. all the same!
I sit here with no energy and frankly no will to live. I have a bucketload of pills that I could take but I have kids so I just can’t do that. Somehow this has to turn around.
But how?
Has anyone been through this?
I wanted to move to the country and grow delicious wonderful food and have a few hens, not bankrupt us on buying disgusting “shakes” and being bloody miserable.
I don’t weigh. I don’t have scales. I just know that my body is eating itself and I’m not giving it enough Protein because I just vomit it back, even the mini-sips. And how miserable is it to be only about to drink 50ml in an hour and have to fill it with sips of stuff that makes you want to vomit… then you do vomit!!
Google anything about Protein Shakes that are any good and of course, they all come up.
Can someone actually tell me if they have been in this situation and if they have found any protein that works?
What a baby I am but I am at the end of my rope. I appreciate any ideas, especially from people in Europe. My “bariatric team” are useless. Just useless.

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Why did they take you off your antidepressants? Some people find that they are able to wean them down as they lose and even go off of them but that’s not usually just a cold Turkey without discussing why sort of thing. I would question if there is a reason you can’t still take it. Regardless, you have just been through major surgery. Even without the tolerance issues you are having many of us have mild depression or are just emotional post surgery (hormones are all out of whack). Please contact the suicide hotline if you have those type of thoughts again, though. That’s not a typical response to surgery. The moodiness and depression usually balance out as you are slowly able to tolorate food and yes this will happen but if you need that antidepressant you may just be clinically depressed so that’s something to talk to your doctor about. Either way, please let them know that how you are feeling.

Edited by ShoppGirl

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4 hours ago, Lornapc said:

I am 3 weeks after surgery. Been fat always. Had the sleeve in 2016 and did well for a few years. The plan was to convert then to the bypass once my BMI was down but then the insurance company decided not to pay and it was a battle til now. I had it 3 weeks ago.
And this is so much worse than I could have ever imagined.
I realise now that they put me on anti nausea meds and took me off my antidepressants that I’d been on for about 8 years. Cold turkey. I am now a b***h who yells and snaps or cries. That’s it. I had a lot of pain post surgery and was in hospital 6 days not 3 - as with probably lots of us, I’m tolerant to pain meds so I am only now managing with plain paracetamol. But I feel nauseous all the time.
OK.. so it’s piteous.. but I really think that I’d be ok if I could stomach any Protein Powder at all. I just can’t. It’s all completely disgusting.
I’m in Europe not the US but I ordered over €200 of different products. All made me vomit. No taste ones, flavoured ones, ones in Soups etc. all the same!
I sit here with no energy and frankly no will to live. I have a bucketload of pills that I could take but I have kids so I just can’t do that. Somehow this has to turn around.
But how?
Has anyone been through this?
I wanted to move to the country and grow delicious wonderful food and have a few hens, not bankrupt us on buying disgusting “shakes” and being bloody miserable.
I don’t weigh. I don’t have scales. I just know that my body is eating itself and I’m not giving it enough Protein because I just vomit it back, even the mini-sips. And how miserable is it to be only about to drink 50ml in an hour and have to fill it with sips of stuff that makes you want to vomit… then you do vomit!!
Google anything about Protein Shakes that are any good and of course, they all come up.
Can someone actually tell me if they have been in this situation and if they have found any Protein that works?
What a baby I am but I am at the end of my rope. I appreciate any ideas, especially from people in Europe. My “bariatric team” are useless. Just useless.

Was it your surgeon who took you off the anti depressant? If so, they had no business doing that. Here in the US, we have surgeons that do that, too. Mine tried to stop my meds for MS, but my neurologist put a stop to that. I would talk to your psychiatrist about going back on your meds and work with THEM about the depression and suicidal feelings and keep your surgeon out of that. It's not his call to make about coming off meds.

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Get hold of who ever prescribed the antidepressant tablets and tell them what you are feeling like and who took you off them. Its wrong on so many levels. You are not to go cold turkey on these tablets. You should have been weaned off them for months.

After this surgery you will feel very emotional and weepy. Lots of us feel buyers remorse but that does get better I assure you, I couldn't drink or eat either, was sick all the time and at one point my team thought I had a stricture. You need to contact your team to make sure this is not happening to you too. Its a simple thing to rectify.

You may have a allergy to the fake sugars in the shakes and need to find alternatives, many have. Can you drink milk, its got lots of Protein in it and tastes better than those shakes . I put a spoon of Peanut Butter and a piece of banana in mine for extra protein. You can also beef it up with extra dried milk powder stirred in. Other milks were ok on my diet sheet too, like oat milk etc. I still drink a pint of milk a day.

Don't bother with food for a few days let your tummy settle. I was told to do my best with drinks but if I couldn't make the quota, well its ok. One day I did and I got better and my mood did change. Take some pressure off yourself and breathe deep. Nobody but this forum told me the first month was so awful.

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Agree with above posters. Go find the doc who prescribed your antidepressants and telL them what is going on. As soon as possible.

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Often people have to change some meds they’re on because your bypass may affect the absorption of the medication. Often these are slow release meds. BUT they don’t take you completely off the tablets. (Except may blood pressure meds.) I agree with the others in that being taken of your meds cold turkey is contributing a lot to what you are experiencing. It can be dangerous to cut anti depressant meds. And yes, definitely contact your prescribing doctor.

You don’t have to rely solely on shakes. (I found them awful too.) Try bone broths, wonton Soup or pho broths (just strain out the wontons, vegetables, noodles, etc.) Soups, yoghurt smoothies (thin yoghurt with milk). Many UK surgeons recommend drinking milk you enrich by adding milk powder.

At three weeks we’ve often moved to purées. But of course all plans are different. I gave up shakes I suffered through at the beginning of week three. When do you start purées?

Please take care of yourself.

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It is so dangerous to cut off antidepressants cold turkery. It causes all sorts of horrible side-effects. The longer you're on them, the more careful you must be in incrementally weaning off them. Your bariatric team had no business instructing you to stop, it's not their department. Like others have urged - talk to your psychiatric doctor ASAP and tell them everything.

The first couple of months suck, no two ways about it. I also struggled with Protein Shakes, and found I could only just tolerate Protein Water. Still WAY too sweet, but I could manage to soldier through a serving. Keep your fluids up, your Vitamin supplements, and like Summerseeker suggested, look into protein fortified milk and see how you go with that.

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I STILL have nausea. I know you said you couldn't take pills because of your kids, but that would not include anti-nausea pills, would it? I am on two different ones, and I highly recommend talking to your doctor about it.

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2 hours ago, oldandtired said:

I STILL have nausea. I know you said you couldn't take pills because of your kids, but that would not include anti-nausea pills, would it? I am on two different ones, and I highly recommend talking to your doctor about it.

That's not what she meant....☹️

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Thank you for answering me, friends.
I have calmed down a bit, mainly thanks to the idea of bone broths. Yes! I can make bone broths and I can stomach that - and it’s Fluid. So that’s my plan. I am so so grateful to you.
Yes also to yoghurts and I’m 3 weeks in so broth and yoghurt.
Last night I took a bit of the outside of my husband’s pizza and chewed it and chewed it and then just spat it out. (Sorry for TMI). I felt a bit better as well.. maybe just the comforting taste after nothing but Water and bile for two weeks.
So now I’m feeling a bit better.
I have a review with the surgeon in a few weeks and I’m going to have a few things to say. Firstly, that it’s not good enough after paying thousands for aftercare that I can’t even get a phone call when I need one. And two, it’s not good enough for me to have been taken off the antidepressants without consultation or help.
Thank you for giving me the support. I am so grateful.

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49 minutes ago, Lornapc said:

Thank you for answering me, friends.
I have calmed down a bit, mainly thanks to the idea of bone broths. Yes! I can make bone broths and I can stomach that - and it’s Fluid. So that’s my plan. I am so so grateful to you.
Yes also to yoghurts and I’m 3 weeks in so broth and yoghurt.
Last night I took a bit of the outside of my husband’s pizza and chewed it and chewed it and then just spat it out. (Sorry for TMI). I felt a bit better as well.. maybe just the comforting taste after nothing but Water and bile for two weeks.
So now I’m feeling a bit better.
I have a review with the surgeon in a few weeks and I’m going to have a few things to say. Firstly, that it’s not good enough after paying thousands for aftercare that I can’t even get a phone call when I need one. And two, it’s not good enough for me to have been taken off the antidepressants without consultation or help.
Thank you for giving me the support. I am so grateful.

You should be able to get a sooner appointment with the surgeon. I was told to call if I had any issues and needed to be seen sooner.

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I was taken off one of my psychiatric meds by my family doctor - she felt i didn't need it. I went into a downward spiral for 6 weeks - it was awful, awful, awful. When i finally told my psychiatrist, she immediately admitted me into their hospital and put me back on my original meds. I was so much better within 36 hours. She said that my family dr should never have taken me off that particular med. I was in a serotonin withdrawal.

So, i hope you are able to get the meds figured out. I think much of what you are feeling is due to your lack of medication.

Good luck & sending lots of love to you

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I agree with everything everyone else said about your antidepressant being stopped so I won't comment on that, but I can comment on those early days and intolerance to the Protein Shakes. I found them SO DISGUSTING and I was very depressed and kept wondering why I did this to myself. Other people had good suggestions for that too, but one thing my dietitian suggested was collagen peptides. I couldn't stand the taste of any other Protein supplement at that time, especially whey. Collagen peptides have the least flavor (imo) and they're especially easy to mix into things like broth to get that extra protein.
It really does get better! Hang in there!

Sent from my Pixel 5a using BariatricPal mobile app

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I agree with everything everyone else said about your antidepressant being stopped so I won't comment on that, but I can comment on those early days and intolerance to the Protein Shakes. I found them SO DISGUSTING and I was very depressed and kept wondering why I did this to myself. Other people had good suggestions for that too, but one thing my dietitian suggested was collagen peptides. I couldn't stand the taste of any other Protein supplement at that time, especially whey. Collagen peptides have the least flavor (imo) and they're especially easy to mix into things like broth to get that extra protein.
It really does get better! Hang in there!

Sent from my Pixel 5a using BariatricPal mobile app

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My Psychologist and I have a deal. He is the ONLY one that can change my mental meds. Other doctors are not allowed to change them because even though they are doctors they don't have the training to know better. I 100% agree with the others to contact the doctor that prescribed your mental meds to see about getting back on them.

For the past 5 weeks I've been crushing my meds (which is disgusting btw) and putting them in flavored water and chugging them like a shot. Super gross but haven't missed because so much is changing already in my body that I can't risk my head being out of whack too. I am willing to bet that getting back on your meds will help your outlook some.

Sent from my SM-F926U using BariatricPal mobile app

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