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Help - I'm getting Complacent



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I'm not banded yet but almost finished with my clearances and this is something the nutrionist just mentioned yesterday - staying away from liquid calories - they go through the band fast and don't satisfy compared to eating something you have to chew to eat and that takes longer to digest.

I can so relate to how hard being overweight, morbidly obese, is at Christmas, New Years's Eve and then a January birthday for me, followed by Valentines' Day no less so I always considered this period one of the hardest and loneliest for overweight single women like myself.

Hang in there, one day at a time and with all the great suggestions everyone posted, I so appreciate the ideas in advance of getting banded.

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Newgirl07 - thanks for being so candid - I can so relate to the pain you are feeling as well as that sense of desperation. I have been there many times and was there again when I wrote that post. I got my fill on Monday and just went back to solids today. Being on liquids for two days has helped me get back on track - for today - and has helped reset my willpower - for today. I have used many of the postive words from this thread to help me through the tough time and I hope that you can find inspiration too. This is so worth it. My birthday is also in January. I find that so ironic that you and SpecialK both have January birthdays too. Hang in there and just look at today - not at tomorrow, next week, next month - just today. If we fail, we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and move forward. WE CAN DO THIS. I love the thread "I will stay on plan today because" Check it out. It also was very inspiring.

Obviously those that feel this is the "easy way out" has never walked a mile in our shoes, huh? Shame on them.

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According to my surgeon, when you reach an weight that you were at for awhile or that is often your lowest while dieting, your body starts producing more gherlin, a hormone that regulates appetite. Since your body wants to keep doing what it has mostly always done, it physically tries to stop the weight loss. Knowing this, I don't feel like a loser when I reach that point. I realize it's not just my emotions, or will power and it gives me motivation to move on. The more I research obesity, the more I realize it is not a character flaw, or laziness on my part. This is so freeing to me. This is the point where a fill helps so much.

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After reading what MizPeppy wrote, I had to comment. Sorry for the hijack.

I wish the rest of the world realized that obesity wasn’t a “character flaw”. For the most part we are seen as lazy slobs with no self control or respect. Just as no one strives to be an alcoholic, we didn’t decide one day that we wanted to be obese. Yet people that are alcoholics and drug addicts are seen as having a “disease”, they have organizations (different rehabs, the Salvation Army, etc) that will help them become clean and sober. Where as we are seen as gluttonous and just need to learn to “put down that fork”. There is no one out there that is willing to pay my bills so I can go into rehab to get my obesity in check. This is something that each and every one of us has had to do on our own. And until people realize the obesity is a disease, we will all just have to keep fight the good fight and keep on keeping on.

With that being said, I completely understand wanting to sabotage myself when I get to a certain weight or size. I find myself saying that I can be happy at this weight/size. Then I do a big reality check. At 5 foot even, 184 lbs is not a healthy weight. Heck my goal of 135 is still considered overweight. So I look in my medicine cabinet and take down my diabetic pills (which, since banding, I don’t have to take anymore) and ask myself if I want to go back there again. I already have kidney problems, becoming an insulin dependent diabetic will surly not help with that. Then I will walk down the stair to my basement and walk back up again just so I don’t hear my knees going snap/crackle/pop and how not out of breath I am. My motivation is not in a pant size or number on the scale, it’s my health. I just have to keep reminding myself that and it helps. Granted, when thing get really bad, I do have a sexy nighty that I have put away in a size 10, and I do pull it out as needed also. LOL

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coastlgrl,

I hear you! I am in the same situation. I don't think of it as sabotaging ourselves, but rather maybe the novelty has worn off...I am a little tired of my shakes (I hate to admit that). It is almost like I need to take a little hiatus...then start in all over again. I was banded in April and the Holidays really threw me off. I am a little over halfway to goal.

I think a big problem (for me anyway) is the fact that I don't have any weigh-ins anymore. I don't have to go back to the clinic for 6 months, unless I need a fill. Where is the motivation in that?

I really need to be accountable to someone at this crucial time in my journey.

Do you have regular weigh-ins still? I thing that is soooo important.

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If you need the acountability why dont you try Weight watchers or something like that? Or make a friend weigh you once a month.

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awesome post Barb!

My tendancy to be complacent is WHY I CHOSE THE BAND! If I get to where I'm eating too much.. I will run not walk to my doc and get a fill!

Getting under 174 will be my true test... as I don't remember a time that I was under that weight..........EVER

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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